Beyond the Status Quo: Exploring the Barriers to Doing Things Differently

We know more than ever about children’s brain development and the power of relationships, yet we still struggle to translate this knowledge into practice. Despite advancements in neuroscience and a deeper understanding of how children develop and thrive, many of our systems and practices remain rooted in outdated approaches. Why is it so hard to do things differently? Part of the challenge lies in the fact that many of the adults expected to implement these new approaches were never empowered with these tools themselves. This disconnect has created barriers beyond individual efforts, impacting the wellbeing and inclusion of both children and adults, and highlighting the need for a broader systemic shift.

Generational Impact: Why Aren’t We Equipped to Implement What We Know?

For many adults today, the environments they grew up in did not prioritise their mental health or wellbeing. Now, as they are expected to support children’s emotional development and teach self-regulation, they find themselves navigating unfamiliar territory.

It’s one thing to know that children’s brains are shaped by their experiences and relationships; it’s another to have the language and skills to put that knowledge into practice. Without this foundation, many adults can struggle to utilise the relational approaches that we know children so critically need.

Image of the Child: How Our Perceptions Become Barriers to Support

Our image of the child is foundational. If, at systems and individual level, we do not have a high image of the child—seeing them as capable, competent, and full of potential—then we view everything through a deficit lens and respond accordingly. This perspective shapes how we interpret children’s behaviours and influences the environments and expectations we create.

Shifting our image of the child is not just about changing our language; it’s about transforming how we see, understand, and support children. Many systems are misaligned with what we know about children’s development, focusing more on compliance and performance rather than nurturing relationships and holistic growth. This often leads to environments where children are not seen, heard, or valued for who they are, making this shift in perspective crucial for any new approach.

Family Dynamics: Why Are Parents Left to Struggle Alone?

Parenting is hard, and all too often, families are left to navigate these challenges on their own. Instead of being surrounded by a supportive community, many parents find themselves feeling isolated and overwhelmed. They are blamed and shamed for their children’s behaviour, often without the resources they need to cope.

The system creates more barriers than support, leading them to operate in a state of survival, which in turn impacts their ability to collaborate with professionals and reframe their child’s challenges. Many parents are parenting the way they were parented and haven’t had the opportunity to learn differently. This can make it incredibly difficult for them to support their children in the ways we now know children need.

To truly support families, we need to create more intentional supports and opportunities for parent education, equipping them with the tools and resources to navigate challenges and advocate effectively for their children.

Professional Stress: How the System Sets Us All Up to Fail

Those working directly with children face immense stressors. If staff are operating under high levels of stress, burnout, and a lack of wellbeing, the science shows they too can only respond through dysregulation. When leadership in any setting is also functioning this way, it creates a cycle of stress, affecting entire institutions.

The workload and competing priorities placed on educators and professionals are immense. Many find themselves stretched thin, trying to meet expectations that are often at odds with what we know children need to thrive. This misalignment between system demands and developmental needs further contributes to the burnout that so many in the field experience.

We need to assume positive intentions; people are often doing the best they can with the knowledge, skills, and resources they have available to them in the moment.

Gaps in Knowledge and Skills: What’s Missing in Professional Development?

Sometimes, people just don’t know what they don’t know. For many people, when you introduce these approaches, it is the first time they are exposed to these ideas, and experienced this way of thinking.

Many people working in services might have completed their training a long time ago, when our understanding of trauma and its impact was different. There are significant gaps in how university courses and ongoing professional development have caught up with the latest science. Many people haven’t seen alternative approaches work in front of them, so they can’t visualise a different way of working.

This lack of exposure to current ideas in practice means professionals are often working with outdated knowledge, making it difficult for them to embrace new approaches or even imagine how they could implement them. Additionally, the pressures of day-to-day responsibilities leave little room for professional learning and growth, creating further barriers.

Policy and Collaboration: Why Systemic Change Can Feel Impossible

Addressing these barriers requires more than individual efforts; it demands systemic change supported by policies that promote cross-sector collaboration. Many of our existing systems and policies were created in a different time, for a different world, when we didn’t know what we do now. This misalignment means we’re often fighting against structures that were never designed to support the needs of today’s children and families.

Schools, healthcare providers, social services, and families need to work together to create a consistent network of support. Policies that encourage shared understanding and coordinated efforts across sectors are essential for making meaningful, sustainable change.

When these systems align, we can start to see a unified approach that dismantles barriers, fostering a culture of wellbeing and inclusion for children, families, and professionals. Without this alignment, even the best individual efforts will struggle to gain traction against the broader systemic forces at play. Competing agendas and misaligned priorities can undermine well-intentioned efforts, making it crucial to have a coordinated and collaborative approach across all levels of support.

Leadership and Culture: Are We Leading by Example?

As leaders, we have to lead by example. In my experience, if I use this thinking and approach with all stakeholders—not just for children—and consistently model curiosity and compassion when approaching challenges, while holding high expectations, the narrative starts to shift. We can’t hold different expectations and provide different experiences to adults if we want them to provide this for children.

Often, as a leader, you might be the first person modelling this to those around you—we can’t underestimate the impact we can have.

Implementation: What’s Stopping Us from Creating Supportive Cultures?

To truly implement these approaches, we must intentionally create cultures of growth through coaching, reflection, collaboration, and shared problem-solving. This involves setting clear expectations, providing the support needed to achieve them, and ensuring accountability.

If we want to change the narrative, we need to slowly shape thinking, practices, and ultimately, the working culture. When staff feel supported and empowered, they are more likely to adopt and model these practices in their interactions with children and families.

Creating this kind of culture is a gradual process that requires intentionality, patience, and commitment, but the impact on staff and, ultimately, on the children they work with, can be profound.

Conclusion: Reflecting on Our Role

As we consider these barriers—whether generational gaps, perceptions of children, professional stress, or systemic misalignment—it’s crucial to reflect on our own experiences and roles within this system.

How do we see the children we work with or parent? - Do we hold a high image of their potential, or do we unintentionally view them through a lens of deficit?

What about our own mental health and wellbeing? - Are we equipped to model the skills we want to teach, or do we also struggle with stress and dysregulation?

Taking time to honestly evaluate our own beliefs and practices can be a powerful first step in creating change. Addressing these barriers is a shared responsibility, and as we move forward, we can consider how to better align our practices with what we know children need to thrive.

We’re all in this together. As we know better, let’s do better. Approach these challenges with compassion and curiosity as we walk alongside others on this journey, paving the way for meaningful, lasting change.