Breaking Through the "Nerd" Ceiling

He’s smart—of that, there is no doubt. His ideas rise above his peers on a regular basis. He knows his idea is the best one too—so he rarely approaches co-workers from a place of humility.

She knows her stuff and easily works harder than those around her. She is dedicated to the product in ways that defy even her leader's expectations. She has learned to get results with blunt language and she doesn’t put up with complaining from those who don’t have solutions.

For both of them, the majority of the “work” is excellent but even they know there is room to grow in their empathy and communication.

Two things have also conspired to make their task even more difficult:

1. Those younger than 35ish years old these days will rarely pick up the phone and make a phone call. Most communication is made asynchronisticly and/or in a messaging format. Even long-form email is less common than slack or other internal tools.
2. The response to the pandemic of 2020 shifted any remaining face-to-face communication to remote for nearly every tech organization.

This has been devastating to the career progression of nerds or high functioning neurodivergents. I have spoken to countless leaders who are stuck at their same job level with the feedback that their technical skills are tremendous (maybe even genius) but they are told they are missing the human skills that are required for them to take the next step.

All is not lost, however—one of the first things I discover with these leaders is that they are aware of their shortcomings and really want to do something about them. They want to grow as humans and they are committed to growing their empathy and communication skills.

One book that I found recently that really makes an impact for these leaders—and also anyone who is struggling with the new communication paradigm—is Digital Body Language by Erica Dhawan. Some of the most important concepts from the book:

1. The importance of digital body language: Dhawan argues that just as we communicate with body language in face-to-face interactions, we also communicate through digital body language in our virtual interactions. Digital body language includes things like response time, word choice, and use of emojis. Being mindful of digital body language can help managers and employees build stronger relationships and avoid misunderstandings.
2. The power of empathy: Dhawan emphasizes the importance of empathy in digital communication. When we can understand and relate to the perspective of the person we are communicating with, we are more likely to have productive and positive interactions.
3. The need for clarity: With digital communication, there is a greater risk of misinterpretation and misunderstanding. Dhawan encourages clear and concise communication to avoid confusion and ensure that everyone is on the same page.
4. The role of culture: Different cultures may have different norms and expectations when it comes to digital communication. Dhawan suggests that managers should be aware of these differences and adjust their communication style accordingly to build trust and rapport with employees from different backgrounds.

I’d love to hear what you think about this concept of a Nerd Ceiling and the concept of improving your Digital Body Language.

My calendar is open anytime to connect and even to share the core truth with you that I explored last week: You are not alone. You can connect with me here.

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Past Articles: Neurodiverse Leadership Resource Library

Want more resources on neurodivergent leadership? We are finding and creating resources for you. Watch this section expand every week.

Sept 6: You Are Not Alone

Aug 30: More than Ever, Neurodivergent Leaders Need a Coach

Aug 22: The Enneagram and My Leadership

Aug 9: Do You Really Want to Manage Up? Start here!

Aug 1: The Difference Between Good Leaders and Great Leaders is How Much They Care (About People)

July 25: Better Living Through Chemistry—Until There is a Shortage

July 19: Coming Alive is What We Are Meant to Do

July 12: What Is My Purpose? What Happens When High Performers Feel Defeated?

June 28: The Art of Really Listening…Doing a Listening Fast

June 20: "It's Everything"

June 13: Listening to Completion

June 6: Embodying Resilience and Grit

May 23: Taylor Swift Can Do It With a Broken Heart—So Can You!

May 16: Neurodivergent Executives (Like The Yeti but Real)

May 10: Focused and Distracted at the Same Time

May 3: All Brains Belong

April 25: No One Told Me I Couldn’t Do That!!! Expectations vs Agreements & Neurodivergent Leaders

April 19: I Can’t Deal with THIS Person

April 12 : Being Smarter is NOT the Answer

April 5: All Executive Coaching Eventually Becomes "Life Coaching"

Mar 28: The Best Leadership is Service

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Week

Mar 15: Without Empathy We're Without Leadership

Mar 8: You Aren't Who You Think (Or Feel) You Are

Mar 1: Thriving Uniquely vs Suffering in Silence: The Benefits of Confidential Self-Identification for Neurodivergent Leaders

Feb 23: Who Needs Productivity Anyway? Did You See That Squirrel?

Feb 12: Emerging from Shame: Illuminating the Path to Neurodivergent Leadership Brilliance

Feb 1: Always Do Your Best Doesn’t Mean Always Do THE Best

Jan 25: There is Nothing Wrong but Something Is Missing

Jan: 19 What’s a Vision Anyway? Why Can’t They Just Do Their Jobs?

Jan 12: A Day in the Life of a Neurodivergent Leader: Navigating Autistic Demand Avoidance at Work

Jan 5: Redefining Autism: The Power of Self-Identification

Dec 21: Why Am I So Anxious

Dec 14: Cultivating Brilliance in Neurodivergent Leaders

Dec 7: Conversations Matter

Dec 1: The Trouble With Geniuses

Nov 17: Science Lesson

Nov 10: Living from Logic in an Emotional World

Nov 3: Communicating with Precision and Simplicity

Oct 27: Creativity and Innovation

Oct 20: How Neurodiversity is Making a Positive and Innovative Impact

Oct 12: It’s Lonely at the Top—Especially for Neurodivergent Leaders

Oct 6: Simply Different?

Sept 29: ADHD: The Kryptonite of It and Its Superpowers

Sept 21: Nerds (and Geeks) Are Leaders Too!

Sept 14 : Blind Spots: You Can't See Yours

Sept 7: People are More Difficult Than Algorithms

Aug 31: ADHD Kids Become ADHD Adults—but Sometimes the Tools Stop Working

Aug 25: Are you Dumb Enough to Manage Up?

Aug 18: Understanding the Avoidant Employee

Aug 10: Your Leadership is Not Served by You Thinking You are Less Than

Aug 4: Leaders Don't Want to Be Victims

July 20: Are You Overcompensating?

July 13: Why We Need the Outdoors

July 6: It's Not a Bug, It's a Feature

June 29: EMOTIONAL BIDS: What Do We Do When Someone Reaches Out to Us Emotionally?

June 15: The Boxes We Put Ourselves In

June 8: Please Just Tell Me the Answer!

May 25: Dyslexia and Leadership

May 18: Autism and Leadership: Advantages and Challenges

May 11: ADHD and Leadership

May 4: Hi Elon, I'd Like to Be Your Executive Coach

Apr 27: Surprise! Your Motivators are NOT Their Motivators

Apr 14: Managing Up Success Story

Apr 6: The Power of Routine

Mar 30: The Nerd Ceiling and Digital Body Language

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Makes For Better Leaders (Sometimes)

Mar 16: He Only Cares About Himself

Mar 9: Neurodiverse Leaders and the Power of One on One Conversation

Mar 2: What if My Neurodiverse Boss Sucks with People?

Feb 23: Why Am I So Anxious?

Feb 16: The Trouble With Neurodiverse Leadership (Forbes Article)

Feb 9: Your Straight Talk is NOT Authentic Leadership

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