Empathy, Influence, and Getting People To Like You

At a recent mastermind in L.A., the entire large group of us (entrepreneurs, executives, thought leaders, speakers, visionaries, authors, and coaches) would periodically split off into smaller groups of 10 or so, to dig in deeper on a topic.

The question: How can you move a person, an audience, or an organization from curious, to connected, to cooperative, and then finally to committed?

And how can you do it in a way that benefits everyone involved, so yes is the right choice, for all?

We went around the table. When it was my turn, I spoke about empathy.

“Empathy helps a person feel as if they know you (because we feel like we “know” the people who really listen to us).

“It helps a person trust you (they realize you “get them” because you’ve been speaking about their experience in their language).

“You’re seen as credible (whether you’re an expert, authority, and/or thought leader) because you’re able to offer a solution to their challenge and a way for them to realize their dreams (because you’ve listened deeply and understand what they actually need).

“When you use real empathy (no faking), a person will quickly come to like you.

“You will change their lives.

“And ultimately the world.”

How It Works

Years of study and research in psychology, sociology, biology, communication, marketing, and advertising offer consistent truths about your ability to influence and create positive impact.

Whether it’s your prospect, customer, client, audience, or partner, your job is to help people get to know you, like you, trust you, and see you as credible (expert, authority, and/or thought leader).

It’s also your responsibility to help them understand that you’re offering value…so they will say yes to the action that you want them to take.

(Win-win-win, of course.)

Empathy is the fastest, most effective way to do all of this. It’s the most powerful, least understood, and least used tool for moving people into action.

Empathy is the capacity to experience another person’s situation by seeing the world through their eyes.

When you’re empathetic (and people recognize you are), an amazing thing happens.

They like you more.

They’ll realize you’ve been listening to them.

When you listen deeply, you’ll uncover their fears and pain as well as their hopes and dreams.

This will give you the right language to speak to them.

It will reveal what products/services/solutions to offer.

And it will help you create a tribe of people who say YES to you because you’re helping them to realize their dreams.

• • •

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