Feeling lost somewhere in emptiness

"Rahe jo chuni, meri thi raza, Rehta hu phir kyu khud se hi khafa, Janu na kab hua khud se gumshuda, Kaise jiyu ruh bhi mujhse hai Juda". Feeling lost is like feeling emptiness, hollowness in you and all you can do is wait for right time. When do we realize we are lost- When we always have to wear a mask of fake smile. When we don't want to share our mental and emotional condition with anyone because we, ourselves don't know what is going on. When we feel like walking in a dark tunnel without aim, objective and direction. Sometimes we lose our interest in life and feel suffocated. We keep living same way and days convert into weeks, weeks into months, months in year. When we stop living and start existing.

It's not because we are weak, or don't have dreams or we are lazy but because we are haunted by our own emotions. Emotions which we developed for someone/ something and allowed it to intensify. We have to fight with these emotions daily and we can not ask anyone for help.

Suna man ka angan hai, Ye kaisa khalipan hai, mere andar hai tanhai, Mere baher hai veerane…It's hard to explain someone about our emotions and harder for someone to understand the intensity of our emotions. It's we who have travelled trough this painful path. I talk to myself…Hey, I am there…I love you…It's just time and will pass…Believe me! We are not going to be in the same situation/ pain forever. Things will get better! We will be happy in reality! We will fight with it…No matter how much it pains we will survive…Keep breathing. You are a fighter, I am proud of you. Suggestions for others who are in the same situation- Always have a long term vision. Where are you at present is not going to matter. You can take yourself anywhere tomorrow.

Let others do what they want to do, its their life, their choice. Don't destroy your life by comparing yourself with them. Keep updating yourself, because only you can rescue yourself. Sooner or later you will surpass most people around. You will find many better opportunities and better people in life. There are more than 7 billion people in the world, and you will find the right one at right time. So work hard for yourself, for your career, for your dreams, fight with this emotional crisis. Keep updating yourself, future is waiting for you.

You are not alone in being alone: So many of us are fighting the same exact battle alongside you. We are all in this together. So no matter how embarrassed or pathetic you feel about your own situation, know that there are others out there experiencing the same emotions. When you hear yourself say, “I am all alone,” it’s just your worried mind trying to sell you a lie. Sometimes when you’re lonely, you need to be alone: Sometimes you need to be alone, not to be lonely, but to enjoy a little free time just being yourself and finding your way. In other words, the moments you feel lonely are the moments you may most need to be by yourself.

You have to be a little lost first to find what you’re looking for: Not until you are lost in this world can you begin to find your best path. Realizing you are lost is the first step to living the life you want. The second step is leaving the life you don’t want. It’s all about accepting the reality of what is. You cannot find peace by avoiding life. Life spins with unexpected changes; so instead of avoiding it, take every change and experience as a challenge for growth. Either it will give you what you want or it will teach you what the next step is. And remember, finding peace in life does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, no challenges, and no hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things while remaining calm in your heart.

Honestly, life is too short to spend at war with yourself. The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. Letting go of needless expectations is your first step to happiness. Come from a mindset of peace and acceptance, and you can deal with almost anything and grow beyond it. In every situation, You choose your attitude: Be determined to be positive. Understand that the greater part of your misery or unhappiness is determined not by your circumstances, but by your attitude. A happy person is not a person who’s always in a good situation, but rather a person who always has a good attitude in every situation. So smile young man.

Remember what you love to do and go do it! Do you remember the last time you had fun in your life? Do you remember when things felt easy and in the flow? Go on an adventure:Whether it’s a day trip, a solitary retreat, or a week-long drive along the coast, go out and explore the world. This will not only allow you to tap into the flow, but it will also give you the time and focus to really reconnect with yourself again. Reconnect with your dreams and dream big: Once you reconnect with your dreams, you’ll have the desire and inspiration to begin to take action and suddenly you will have found yourself again.

Remember you have the power to be, have, and do anything you desire. Sometimes the feeling of being lost is all-consuming and you forget that you get to choose what you think and how you feel. You are given a great amount of power to create the life you desire and get the answers you are looking for. Take a realistic assessment of where I am. Don’t let emotions rule me, be harshly logical. Figure out your values and live by them. My value is service. So I could sit on a bus and sulk in self pity, or I could help an old lady up on the slippery floor, carry her packages off the bus and wish her a good day. Much harder to pity myself after I see how lucky I am to be able to walk, and how much I take for granted.

Create goals that are achievable by hard work. Reach for the stars, but build a space ship. I can’t become JK Rowling, but I can take steps to become a successful writer. Be hard on myself and surpass my goals. First, I need to stop self pity. No one cares, and it’s wasted effort. I must learn to work efficiently under pressure. As Alicia Thomas-Woolf said, there will always be pressure. So learn to accept it. Stop being emotional and start trying to be more like my heroes. I look at those I admire, and I see lives of service, hard work, loyalty, courage, intelligence and integrity.

Realize goals can be broken down and often, small changes can make a huge difference. For instance my goal is to lose weight. So I need to burn 3500 calories a week to lose a pound. It’s a huge number, but not if I’m smart about it. Small things can make a huge impact. I realized after really taking an accounting of myself that I could do it. A week has 168 hours. All I needed to make was ONE change, and I’m 1/3 of my initial goal. For the price of 13 hours, I could have 9000 calories saved. And I still have 155 hours to work, write my novels, hang out with my friends, attend shows and live.

I love Welch’s Fruit Snacks and can eat 3 packs a day at work if I’m not careful. That’s 330 calories a day, 5 days a week. (1650 calories) So I have decided to buy the 80 calorie mini-pack and can only have one a day. (400 calories a week) So that gives me 1250 calories saved. Time spent: Zero. I’m attending Krav Maga 4 times a week. It’s around 600 calories burned per class (I’m estimating down) which means 2400 calories burned. Time spent: 6 hours, with travel times. I’m doing strength training twice a week. Strength training builds muscles and is about 150 calories a session. Time spent: 3 hours a week. 450 calories a week.

I switched up my breakfast to a healthy one, saving me 300 calories a day, or 2100 calories a week. Time spent: 8 minutes a day, let’s say an hour a week. I’m avoiding white flour, outside special events with friends (and I limit those to 4 times a week, one item) time spent: Three hours a week of meal planning. Estimated calorie loss is 400 calories a day or 2800 a week. Accept your life will change. You will have to make sacrifices to achieve your goals. Figure out what you can cut, to make room for what you can gain. I won’t be able to just have a cupcake when I’m in a bad mood. I won’t be able to not plan meals or sleep in on weekends, instead of going to Krav Maga. If it doesn’t come with sacrifice, if it isn’t enormous effort, it’s likely not worth doing.

Get help. I am so lucky to have mentors. I won’t mention them by name, but they know who they are. Seek out people who you admire and learn from them. I’m really lucky one amazing friend here is about to join me on this journey, and I’m so honored and grateful to him. Chuck whatever is in your way, no matter how painful. This week, I felt like I had ripped out my wisdom teeth. I felt this gaping hole in my life. Yet, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Accept loss as a part of winning. You can’t have it all, and if it’s holding you back, you can’t have it all.

Use life as a teacher. I got on the wrong bus. I could have broken down in tears of frustration and cursed and threw a tantrum. Or I could rise and give my seat to a pregnant woman, and figure out how to avoid this in the future. I kept control of my emotions and looked at the bus map. I found out a stop let off three blocks away from my home in another direction. Problem solved, I learned a new route home. While self improving, learn to have fun. I hate exercise, but Krav Maga lets me live out some very fun fantasies.

If I’m in a bad mood, I have my dance playlist which means rocking out. I can spend time with friends. I can learn to cook meals that are tasty and healthy. Learn healthy coping mechanisms. At work, I made a dart board of a picture of someone who angered me and was throwing darts at it. Unfortunately, I got a discreet check in from my boss. “Elke, are you okay?” she asked. I blinked and then realized my picture could be seen as slightly…problematic and had to explain, yes, I am a Zionist. Still. Seriously. Chill!