Gaslighting - Word Of The Year

Thoughts and Observations about Gaslighting:

“The Merriam-Webster Dictionary made a bold proclamation - The official word for 2022 will be #gaslighting. Now, what is gaslighting? It's when someone tries to make you doubt your sanity by means of psychological manipulation.” Shannon Molarius - Recruitment Marketing/Talent Acquisition Manager.

“Gaslighting is the systematic attempt by one person to erode another person’s reality by telling them that what they are experiencing isn’t so — and the gradual giving up on the part of the other person.” Robin Stern – U.S. psychoanalyst at Yale University, associate director for the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, associate research scientist at the Yale Child Study Center, and on the faculty of Teachers College, Columbia University, author of “The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life”.

“It starts with a lie. Each day the lies amplify. Time goes by, the lies turn to gaslighting. Eventually the lies become smears about you. (…) lies with a purpose to confuse and control. (…) Gaslighting is a slow unconscious loss of reality. (…) a distorted alternate reality.”  Tracy A. Malone – U.S. writer, author of “Divorcing Your Narcissist”, founder of the Narcissist Abuse Support website.

“Gaslighting is a subtle form of emotional manipulation that often results in the recipient doubting their own perception of reality and their sanity. In addition, gaslighting is a method of manipulation by toxic people to gain power over you. The worst part about gaslighting is that it undermines your self-worth to the point where you’re second-guessing everything. (…) Gaslighting causes us to doubt our own memories, perceptions, and judgments. It throws us psychologically off balance. It’s like being in the Twilight Zone. If you feel as though your self-esteem, confidence, and dignity has withered under the flame of gaslighting, you are not alone.” Dana Arcuri - U.S. writer, certified trauma recovery coach, author of “Soul Rescue: How to Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse & Heal Trauma”.

“When language works to make you question your own perceptions, whether at work or at church, that’s a form of gaslighting. I first came across the term “gaslighting” in the context of abusive romantic partners, but it shows up in larger-scale relationships, too, like those between bosses and their employees, politicians and their supporters, spiritual leaders and their devotees. Across the board, gaslighting is a way of psychologically manipulating someone (or many people) such that they doubt their own reality, as a way to gain and maintain control.” Amanda Montell – U.S. writer, linguist, podcast host, author of “Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism”, host of the podcast “Sounds Like A Cult”.

“Gaslighting, brainwashing, cults, hostage situations, and totalitarian propaganda have a common basis. They use similar techniques to confuse, intimidate, and disempower people. These methods are used by abusers of all kinds for the purpose of controlling other people, and promoting the abusers’ interests.” Linda Hatch – U.S. clinical psychologist.

“Oftentimes, the scapegoat feels worthless and powerless. After being beaten down, year after year, we have a strong sense of false guilt. Unconsciously, we take the narcissist’s guilt as if it were our own. As if it were our fault. As if we are deserving of mental torture and physical abuse.” Dana Arcuri - U.S. writer, certified trauma recovery coach.

“Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation and emotional abuse. The gaslighter avoids responsibility for their toxic behavior by lying and denying and making you question facts, your memory, and your feelings. Basically, the gaslighter makes you feel crazy and confused.” Karen Salmansohn – U.S. writer, founder of the NotSalmon website, a personal development site offering advice on topics such as anxiety and toxic people.

“The malignant narcissist has a split persona. They are like Jekyll and Hyde. One minute, they are sweet as sugar. The next minute, they fly into an uncontrollable seething rage! The narcissist loves playing mind games with you. They are clever to conceal who they are. Wherever there’s a narcissist, you can find a false mask plastered upon their face.” Dana Arcuri - U.S. writer, certified trauma recovery coach.

“The key thing to remember is that the gaslighter—like all verbal abusers—operates from what they know to be your fears, insecurities, vulnerabilities, and neediness. Additionality, as in other types of verbal abuse, there has to be an imbalance of power with the gaslighter holding the cards. That imbalance of power can be literal (a boss who can fire you, a colleague who can make your workday untenable, a spouse who holds the purse strings, a parent on whom you depend financially and emotionally) or symbolic (a partner who is less invested in the relationship than you, a spouse whom you can’t imagine living without).” Peg Streep – U.S. writer, author of “Verbal Abuse: Recognizing, Dealing, Reacting, and Recovering”, frequent contributor of Psychology Today.

“The decision to crown ‘gaslighting’ in 2022 may feel a little late. The term became the go-to way of describing former President Donald Trump’s devotion to creating false realities through repeated lies all the way back in 2016. As one of the first people to apply the term to Trump’s rejection of reality (in a viral piece for US News & World Report in March 2016), I’ve paid attention as the word entered the political lexicon and broadened until it became, essentially, a synonym of ‘lying’.”  Nicole Hemmer – U.S. historian, associate professor of history and director of the Carolyn T. and Robert M. Rogers Center for the Study of the Presidency at Vanderbilt University, author of “Messengers of the Right: Conservative Media and the Transformation of American Politics” and the forthcoming “Partisans: The Conservative Revolutionaries Who Remade American Politics in the 1990’s”, cohosts the history podcasts “Past Present” and “This Day in Esoteric Political History”, regular contributor to The Washington Post, U.S. News and World Report, CNN and The Age.

“Lookups (searches) for the word (Gaslighting) on merriam-webster.com increased 1,740% in 2022 over the year before. But something else happened. There wasn’t a single event that drove significant spikes in curiosity, as it usually goes with the chosen word of the year. The gaslighting was pervasive. “It’s a word that has risen so quickly in the English language, and especially in the last four years, that it actually came as a surprise to me and to many of us,” said Peter Sokolowski, Merriam-Webster’s editor at large, in an exclusive interview with The Associated Press ahead of Monday’s unveiling. “It was a word looked up frequently every single day of the year,” he said. There were deepfakes and the dark web. There were deep states and fake news. And there was a whole lot of trolling.” Associated Press – U.S. non-profit news agency, operates as a cooperative, unincorporated association producing news reports that are distributed to U.S. newspapers and broadcasters.

 “These predators prey on susceptible individuals who believe in their false altruism, affection, and promises of protection. Gas-lighters are most successful when they believably cast themselves as loyal and dutiful protectorates who are unconditionally invested in defending and caring for their beloved gaslit victims.” Ross Rosenberg - U.S. psychotherapist, writer, author of “The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap”.

“Some people will label you as vindictive, unforgiving or even evil for not allowing them to hurt you, yet again.” Wayne Gerard Trotman - Trinidadian-U.K. writer, author of novels, children's literature, travel books, cookbooks and screenplays.

“This term is used in the 1944 Ingrid Bergman film Gaslight, in which a husband purposefully drives his wife insane by flickering lights, making noises in the attic, and then claiming the very real experience was all in her head.” Samantha Rodman - U.S. clinical psychologist, writes at Dr. Psych Mom, frequent contributor to The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post and PsychCentral, author of “How to Talk to Your Kids About Your Divorce”.

“In terms of gaslighting, I define it as ‘to implant false and/or distorted narratives that are specially designed or formulated to manipulate a person into a destructive web of deception, loss of control, and the surrender of personal freedom and beliefs of self-worth, self-value, self-esteem, and productivity.'” Ross Rosenberg - U.S. psychotherapist, writer.

“Remember: As long as there's any part of yourself that believes you need your gaslighter to feel better about yourself, to boost your confidence, or to bolster your sense of who you are in the world, you'll be leaving yourself open for gaslighting.” Robin Stern – U.S. psychoanalyst.

“It's like they think they can make the world their own little puppet theater and you're one of the puppets! So, remember: Gaslighting isn't cool. Don't do it to people, and don't let people do it to you.” Shannon Molarius - Recruitment Marketing/Talent Acquisition Manager.

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