Grief Comes In Waves

Grief Comes In Waves

 

One of the most powerful things about art is that it can encapsulates in a single moment, everything you need to feel about something. It can transport us to places we've never been, or take us back to where we once belonged. It can make us laugh, cry, rage, or heal. It can show us what we've lost, and what we still have. That's what happened to me when I binge-watched the new Netflix series One Day. It stirred up a storm of grief inside me, that had been lying dormant for too long. I'm thankful for the art that can do that, because sometimes we need a wake-up call to face our grief. I don't know if I've lost more people than most, or less, or what is normal at my age. I've lost some amazing friends, and I don't always acknowledge that. And then a TV show comes along, and it slams into me like a tsunami.


There's a pattern to grief, I've learned. It comes in waves. At first, the waves are relentless. They crash over you constantly, leaving you no time to breathe. They're not very strong, but they're frequent. That's how grief wears you down in the beginning. It's the sheer volume of the waves that overwhelms you. But later, the waves change. They become more spaced out, more unpredictable. They come less often, but when they do, they're massive. They can knock you off your feet, and drag you under and it is important to be ready.

I've noticed that these days, I welcome the waves. I don't mind feeling sad, broken, and reflective for a while. It feels right. It shows me that these people mattered to me, that I still honour their memory, and that they're not completely gone from this world. They live on in me.


Grief is not something you can do alone. I've learned that the hard way. I've found solace in talking to friends, in connecting to my emotions through art, and in meditating. I've also found healing in therapy, both individually and in groups. It has helped me release what I need to, and hold on to what I cherish.


This March 30th, we're hosting a day retreat at The Wave in Bristol on ‘Working with Grief’. Grief can be blocked, prolonged, distroted, or avoided. Sometimes we don't even know that's happening, other times we know, but we feel powerless to change it. This retreat will help you understand where you are in your grief journey, help you become more aware of what's going on, and help you move through your grief to a more healthy and balanced place.

If you're interested, please contact us and book your place here.

With gratitude,

Josh and the Resurface team.


Upcoming Events

EMDR Intensive - Miami, USA - March 8th to 14th

Building Resilience Retreat - Morocco - March 16th to 23rd

Working with Grief @ The Wave - Bristol - March 30th 

EMDR Intensive - Europe - April 3rd to 10th 

Trauma Resolution Retreat - Morocco - April 13th to 20th 

Lauren Frost

Mental Health & Grief Stationery for support through the darkness until you can find the light

10mo

Great article Josh. We use the analogy of the ball and the box but also love the wave analogy. I think even though people hear about grief and losing someone, if they've been lucky enough to never have experienced it, it can completely blindside them so having articles helping them identify feelings is so helpful.

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