How to improve workplace relationships?

Workplace relationships are like a garden. If we wish for something to grow, we need to plant, water, and nurture it. Otherwise, only weeds will thrive. We recognize these weeds in workplace relationships as well. Just for a moment, we look away, and already unresolved conflicts, accusations, gossip, grudges, feelings of powerlessness, anger, and distrust flourish. We can and must overcome this.

Damjana Pondelek, PhD

When we talk to employees from different organizations about what matters most to them in the workplace, relationships are always at the top of the list. Always. Employees need a kind word, a sense of being heard, accepted, and valued so much that they will leave and even take a lower-paying job elsewhere. There are also frequent cases of resignations without a rational plan for the future. Individuals just know they want and need to leave. At the end of the workday, poor relationships do not stay at the office; employees carry them home, think about them, and unintentionally spread their bad mood to those around them, including themselves. The next morning, employees carry all this dissatisfaction and disappointment back to work. Resentments build up, and workplace relationships continue to deteriorate. We must do everything we can to help employees, starting with enabling them to coexist respectfully and collaborate constructively with one another. We also need to strengthen leadership, so leaders can support both their employees and themselves in these challenging circumstances.

Restoring good relationships and trust is possible.

Restoring trust in wounded teams is a challenging task as, in such cases, communication between coworkers is often quite poor. The kind and encouraging words have long since run out, replaced by hurtful words and the painful silence of "we have nothing left to say to each other." All that remains are accusations and a great deal of pain and frustration. This destroys the engagement within the team and demotivating for each individual, making it impossible to collaborate effectively toward common goals. In toxic environments and relationships, goals drift further away as employees focus on protecting their own backs, leaving them with little energy, time, or motivation for good work. Wounded teams also face many other consequences of poor relationships. However, despite the difficult circumstances, improving relationships and trust within work teams is possible and downright necessary. 

How can external experts help?

At least in the beginning, the support of external experts proves invaluable as we are not caught up in the internal relationships, hierarchical dynamics, and other power struggles or feelings of helplessness. It's unrealistic to expect leadership and teams in crisis to objectively assess themselves, with the emotional distance, and resolve independently longstanding grudges and wounded relationships. A neutral perspective and external guidance are essential. This makes it significantly easier to identify the actual causes of poor relationships, which often involve a mix of organizational culture, interpersonal dynamics, unresolved conflicts, hurtful communication, leadership shortcomings, the inability to collaborate, and systemic organizational challenges. First, we need to help team members speak openly and listen to each other with respect. They must be able to express their expectations and also be willing and able to understand the expectations of others. Once we establish dialogue, respectful and open communication, and build a foundation of healthy professional relationships, characterized by tolerance, kindness, and empathy, we can start addressing relational issues and rebuilding trust. We must also support leaders so they can appropriately care for their team members, lead by example, and, when necessary, change existing patterns, processes, and systems that no longer serve the organization or its people. This is a challenging and lengthy process, but it is the only viable path to a more productive, encouraging, and healthy organizational environment, one in which both leadership and employees, and clients, will stay.

What can leadership do to improve relationships?

Leadership plays a crucial role in fostering good relationships among employees. The most important thing is to respect, include, encourage, and value employees, setting an example for them to follow. When leaders lead by example, this positive behaviour spreads throughout the organization. Regular, open, transparent, and inclusive communication is key. When conflicts arise between employees, it is important to address and resolve them quickly and fairly. Leaders should help employees find appropriate, peaceful solutions to disputes. Leaders should communicate to employees what is expected of them and how their work contributes to the organization's overall goals. Encourage teamwork and collaboration rather than competition. Create an environment where employees feel comfortable discussing their work, challenges, and suggestions. Be open to feedback and show employees you care about them. Celebrate successes and collective victories, and encourage employees to appreciate, respect, help, and praise each other.

How can employees contribute to better relationships?

Be respectful and kind to all your coworkers. Avoid gossip and respect others' opinions, even if you disagree with them. Help colleagues without waiting for them to ask. Express your opinions clearly and respectfully. Listen attentively to your coworkers and be open to feedback. Maintain a positive and optimistic attitude, as good spirits are contagious and contribute to a more pleasant and healthy work environment for everyone. Take part in team events, as socializing and conversations help build connections. Be attentive to coworkers going through tough times; it is important to look out for one another. Be honest and keep your promises. All this will help build strong and lasting relationships.

It will not happen overnight

The same goes for good workplace relationships. Destroying good workplace relationships can happen quickly, but building them takes a long time. We will need a lot of patience, knowledge, goodwill, professionalism, kindness, and empathy to create healthier workplace relationships that support you, your coworkers, and your clients. It will take time, but it is worth it because it's impossible to live peacefully and work well under the burden of poor workplace relationships.

Dr. Damjana Pondelek is a consultant for leadership and teams, specializing in strengthening relationships, leadership, organizational culture, resilience, and responsibility at the company Urednica. (www.urednica.si)