How To Make Friends As An Adult And Combat The Loneliness Crisis

How To Make Friends As An Adult And Combat The Loneliness Crisis

If you’ve been out of college for a while, it’s likely that your close friends have moved to different cities or states. If you’re married and were friends with the parents of the kids your children played sports and other activities with, but have since aged out of them, you most likely don’t see those parents anymore. When the pandemic struck, social activities came to a screeching halt. Years later, it’s been difficult to rekindle those old relationships.

Here are some suggestions for proactively working toward making new friends as an adult, combating feelings of loneliness, fostering meaningful connections and building a supportive social network.

Join and engage in group activities that interest you, such as meetup groups, yoga classes, hiking groups, cooking classes, spiritual or religious services or local sports clubs. Participating in these activities can help you meet like-minded individuals and form connections.

Reconnect with old friends to deepen existing friendships or expand your social circle through mutual connections. Rekindling past relationships can provide a foundation for building new friendships. Explore the potential for friendship with co-workers by initiating lunch outings or after-work activities.

Attend local events at coffee shops, breweries, gyms, workout classes, volunteer opportunities, churches or social clubs to meet new people and establish connections within your community.

Use social media platforms to connect with people in your area, send direct messages and make plans to meet in person. Social media can be a valuable tool for initiating friendships and expanding your social network.

Maintain a positive mindset, focus on being open to new experiences and approach social scenarios with positivity. Cultivate a welcoming demeanor that attracts potential friends and fosters meaningful connections.

Initiate conversations with new people by asking questions, showing a genuine interest in their interests or experiences and being open to sharing about yourself. Taking the first step can lead to building rapport and forming friendships.

How To Overcome Shyness

You can work toward overcoming shyness when meeting new people and building more confident and fulfilling social interactions. It helps to understand the reasons behind your shyness and identify the root cause to address it effectively. Identify specific situations that trigger your shyness and actively challenge yourself to face them. Gradually confront these situations, even if it feels uncomfortable at first, to build confidence and familiarity over time.

Begin by setting small goals to gradually step out of your comfort zone. Practice talking to family members, making small talk with colleagues or engaging in low-pressure social interactions to build confidence.

Pay attention to behaviors that contribute to your shyness, such as avoiding eye contact. Instead of fixating on what others might think about you, shift your focus to the other person during conversations. Ask questions about them to ease pressure and learn more about them.

Engage in positive self-talk to boost self-confidence and combat negative thoughts associated with shyness. Affirmations like "I like meeting new people" or "I am confident" can help reshape your mindset.

Create a persona of a less shy and more confident version of yourself. Visualize how you want to present yourself and practice embodying that persona in social interactions.

If shyness leads to unwanted emotional distress or significantly impacts your social interactions, consider reaching out to a therapist for guidance in managing physical symptoms, exploring causes of shyness and developing strategies for navigating social situations.

Sample Script For Striking Up A Conversation With Someone New

You: "Hi there! I couldn't help but notice [something about them or the situation]. Mind if I join you?"

Them: [Their response]

You: "Thanks! I'm [Your Name], by the way. Are you from around here?"

Them: [Their response]

You: "That's interesting! I [relate to their response or share something about yourself]. What brings you to [this place/event]?"

Them: [Their response]

You: "Wow, that's [reacting positively to their response]. I'm actually here because [share your reason]. Do you often come to places/events like this?"

Them: [Their response]

You: "I see. You know, I've been trying to [mention a goal or interest related to the situation]. Do you have any experience with that?"

Them: [Their response]

You: "That's really helpful/interesting! I'd love to hear more about your experiences. Would you be up for grabbing a coffee sometime to chat more about it?"

Them: [Their response]

You: "Great! Here, let me give you my number/take your contact. It was really nice meeting you, [Their Name]. Looking forward to continuing our conversation!"

To sum it up: Start with a friendly greeting and an observation about the shared environment. Introduce yourself early in the conversation. Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing and share information about yourself to encourage reciprocity. Find common ground and show genuine interest in their responses. Be positive and enthusiastic. End with a suggestion to continue the conversation in the future.