How to Move from Suffering to Flow

The foundation of the struggles in the world – and our personal and professional lives – may be that we don’t know clearly who we are. We seek to experience peace, fulfillment, meaning, happiness and love out in the world through objects, relationships, substances and activities. Yet what we seek is already, always with us, as is. It is so intimate, so close to us, that we aren’t aware of it. 

We already are what we seek – whole, complete, One with everything and everyone, peaceful, fulfilled, happy, loved.

I find when I forget this – which is normal due to the years-long conditioning that we are not whole, but are separate from others, our beautiful earth, and ourselves, i.e., separate from our true nature – I suffer. 

I notice regularly that I have gotten lost in the conditioning that I need to get somewhere that is not currently where I am, such as getting this article written or more clients or a different weight or a better haircut. It is so habitual and automatic and gets my attention so fully that I forget and miss what is always there – the peace, fulfillment, happiness and love.

I find I suffer when I feel I must make something happen, get something done, OMG it is INTENSE! It was so drilled into me for many years: If it’s to be, it’s up to me! Now! Get busy, stay busy. I feel stress, anxiety, and here come the judgments. 

About a separate self that doesn’t exist! If we’re OneBeing, that means there isn’t a second being. 

You can pause here and sit with that for a few minutes. 

And then, I notice. I realize I have gotten lost in my thoughts about what I don’t like, what I do like, what should be different, how I should be different, how great I am, how not-great I am, how they’re not doing what they’re supposed to, on and on. I’m sure you see the judgment, and therefore, the suffering. 

I haven’t done anything wrong when the focus of attention is on ME trying to get somewhere; it is conditioning. 

Here is the distinction: the anxiety comes from me thinking I need to get somewhere. That there is a separate entity that is making something happen, doing it right or wrong. 

I will still act in the world to bring about results. I will still feel passionate about certain activities and pursue them. The difference is that I recognize that I’m not a separate self having to do something. I am a unique aspect of Consciousness/Source being lived and the life force is moving me along to do what I do and don’t do. 

There is great freedom in that knowing. The suffering goes away. Now I experience aliveness, being in flow, being in service, allowing. I still might feel some anxiety or fear, but without the experience of contraction that goes with control and forcing or efforting. 

We have all experienced emotions without suffering. When we go to the movie, we feel fear when we see sharks in the water, romance when we see two lovers kiss, a racing heart when there are chase scenes. Yet we don’t suffer … because we don’t identify with those feelings and actions. That is similar to what I’m getting at here. We still feel – and we want to as part of being fully human – but the suffering subsides. 

The suffering is when I blame myself, judge myself and others, and so on. That is psychological and what some say is unnecessary suffering. 

You – and I – are being lived. We are expressing life just as a cat or a dog expresses life. The cat isn’t thinking it is to blame if it gets stuck in the tree. It’s our thinking that causes us to suffer. And thinking is just happening; it appears to us. 

When I notice, I can relax attention and “sink back” into my essential nature. 

I like to think about it in a way similar to what Cynthia Bourgeault describes in her book, Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening, pages 23 and 24:  

During one of Father Keating’s workshops to teach centering prayer, after twenty minutes, one of the nuns “…lamented, ‘Oh, Father Thomas, I’m such a failure at this prayer. In twenty minutes, I’ve had 10,000 thoughts.’

‘How lovely!’ responded Thomas Keating without missing a beat. ‘Ten thousand opportunities to return to God!’”

That’s the religious version; for me it’s thousands of opportunities to return to my essential nature and experience the OneBeing that I am. 

Ironically when we're not identifying ourselves as a separate being we are more relaxed and better able to sense and take actions that are supportive of us accomplishing what we feel nudged to do. 

We experience being in flow.

How do I discover that I am not a separate person? You can notice that you are aware of:

·      reading these words, 

·      thoughts,

·      feelings,

·      sensations, such as a feeling of energy in your body, 

·      seeing,

·      hearing,

·      smelling,

·      tasting,

·      touching.

Now notice that something was aware that you were aware of all of that. You were able to say to yourself, “Yes, I am aware of all of that.” What was able to experience that awareness? 

You can ask, “What is it that is aware?” and sit with the inquiry.

You aren’t looking for an answer. Your mind will try to answer, but it can’t. What you are “looking for” is a knowing. Knowing like you know you are reading. You just know. 

That awareness that is aware of everything else – that is you. That is who you are. That open, empty, vast, allowing space. You are not thoughts, feelings, emotions, sensations, - you cannot be what you are aware of. 

You don’t have to DO anything to experience flow …

except relax the focus of attention and experience (and keep returning to) your essential nature. Now you are “in” the flow. Thoughts (that aren’t related to how you are doing) arise, you move into appropriate action, you experience the life force, the flow, moving through you as you move throughout your day. 

You are the flow. 

If you are interested in living more fully in the flow, as the flow that you are, I am available to explore the various paths that you might pursue, whether working with me or not. 

The ways we could work together include:

·      One-on-one guiding and coaching with a customized Wisdomary Leading program that is unique to you.

·      Join the Wisdomary Leading Praxis, an ongoing group program that integrates theory and practice, or

·      For organizations, group programs designed to meet your needs. 

Please message me or email me at peggy@peggy-oneal.com and we will schedule a time to talk.