How Much Is It Costing You Not Knowing Who You Are?

Jeff Griffin Missy Wetzker Orlin Wetzker Karen Zeigler Josh Downs Justin Clapp, MBA Dr. Sami Mohammed Handley, DBA, MA, FCIPD Robin Coghlan Sebastian Wagner Clodine Mallinckrodt Samuel Hon Avinash Deshpande Kalim Ul Masih Milena Ivanova, SPHR Sharesz T. Wilkinson Winifred Ereyi David Leighton Abdulrahman Al Lahim Thamer Al-Towerqi SHRM-SCP Jose Leal Matt Perez Rachel Shaffer Djouher Slaim Thank you for the conversations over the last 2 weeks. They have inspired this article.

In a world where we are constantly thriving to "become the best version of ourselves," it’s easy to get lost. Truth is, many of us don’t know who we truly are. Instead, we build our lives—our careers, relationships, and dreams—around expectations, societal norms, and external pressures. This disconnection between who we are and who we think we should be can create a heavy toll, emotionally and financially.

So, how much is it costing you not knowing who you are?

The Invisible Costs of Not Knowing Yourself

1. Confusion and Mental Overload

Without self-awareness, our thoughts are pulled in countless directions. We question our career choices, wonder if we are in the right relationship, or seek validation through material success. This mental noise is exhausting and can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and emotional burnout.

2. The Price of Skills Learned for Survival, Not Purpose

Many of us develop skills and habits as a means to adapt in environments we’ve chosen—whether it’s a job, social setting, or relationship. Yet these acquired competencies do not always align with our intrinsic talents or genetic motivators. This misalignment creates stress, drains motivation, and ultimately leads to dissatisfaction. In most cases, we spent decades mastering skills we now don’t care about—skills that feel like survival tools, not expressions of your authentic self.

3. Social and Emotional Pain

Our upbringing, education, and past experiences play a crucial role in shaping us. However, unresolved pains or the need to meet standards of “approved behavior” can drive us to seek safety, security, and validation. These pursuits often come at the expense of purpose and fulfillment. How many of us stayed in a job just because it pays the bills? How many stayed in a relationship just because it felt "safe" not to make a decision to move on? Could the result have cost us years of happiness and undiscovered opportunity?

The Cost of Decisions and Misalignment with Purpose

When we make decisions that are misaligned with our purpose, we pay for it in several ways:

• Lost Productivity: According to studies, misaligned employees or individuals experience up to 50% lower productivity.
• Increased Stress: Chronic stress from unfulfilling work or strained relationships can lead to health issues, costing thousands in medical expenses.
• Lack of Motivation: A lack of alignment with your core motivators leads to procrastination, disengagement, loss of energy, and missed opportunities.
• Missed Financial Gains: The lost income from not fully leveraging your talents and uniqueness is staggering. One research shows that employees working in roles aligned with their strengths earn up to 40% more.

Let’s run a simulation.

If job misalignment reduces your productivity by 50%, in a $60,000/year job, that’s a loss of $30,000 annually. Now factor in stress-related health costs, and the emotional costs of poor decisions (estimated to be $1,500 to $3,000 per year). These invisible drains accumulate year over year, silently robbing you of wealth, energy, and joy.

Let me put these in a table:

What You also Gain from Knowing Yourself

Now, imagine the alternative: you live in alignment with your genetics and purpose. What is the reward for that level of clarity and self-awareness?

• Motivation and Focus: When you know who you are, you are naturally drawn to tasks and environments that energize you.
• Fulfillment and Joy: Living your purpose reduces the constant craving for external validation and leads to inner satisfaction.
• Financial Success: Pursuing work aligned with your strengths can lead to higher performance, recognition, and financial rewards.
• Improved Health: Lower stress levels contribute to better physical health, resulting in fewer medical costs and more vitality.

The Role of the Meet Yourself Personality Assessment

The journey toward self-discovery does not have to be confusing or painful. The  Meet Yourself™ Personality Assessment offers a scientific and personalized approach to understanding your genetic motivators in parallel with your acquired skills and behaviors. These motivators are embedded in your unique genetic blueprint and hold the key to unlocking your purpose, potential, and talents. (www.meetyourself.me)

By uncovering your intrinsic motivators, you can make decisions that align with who you truly are—whether it’s a career change, relationship adjustment, or personal hobby. The assessment provides clarity on the core motivators that influence your behavior, helping you build a life around your authentic self, rather than external expectations.

The Hidden Prize: Living a Purpose-Driven Life

The reward for knowing yourself is immeasurable. When you align your life with your intrinsic motivators, you no longer feel the need to chase validation or security. You thrive naturally, experiencing deep fulfillment and happiness. Decisions become easier because they come from a place of clarity.

Living purposefully does not just lead to personal satisfaction—it also impacts productivity, financial success, and health. The ability to make aligned choices is the ultimate prize, one that pays dividends throughout your lifetime.

Final thoughts

I have conducted close to 20000 personality assessments in my career, and close to 10% of them have done a one on one debrief with me.

Let me share a few of my observations:

1.     Every single personality I assessed revealed a certain hidden brilliance. We all have talents hidden in our genetic and thinking motivators.

2.    Close to 400 of the people I debriefed in person told me that they lack a personality trait, which we discovered was the strongest part of their nature.

3.    The majority had unanswered questions about their purpose, which were revealed through the analysis in their report.

There are people in our lives that care for us, and no matter how much they love us, at some point during the day they leave. They go to school, university, to their job, and at night they sleep. No matter how much they love us, they have to go away for a while.

However, there’s one person who is always there. They’re there first thing when you wake up, and there last thing before you close your eyes. They are there in every single moment, thought, and emotion. That person is you….

Imagine how difficult it is to live with that person, 24/7 if they are pessimistic, not fun, or not caring. Imagine how much nicer it would be when we live with that person if they are loving, driven, and happy.

That’s the person you want to be for yourself. And to be that person, you need to know and appreciate who you are and what you are made of.

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