How to Survive Election Season without Losing Your Mind

Does election season have you feeling stressed out? Anxious about the future? Frustrated with your fellow citizens?

Me, neither.

It’s not that I don’t care about the future or that I’m not going to vote – I’ll take that right seriously and do so in an informed and responsible manner. It’s just that I have been knee deep in psychological strength for years now, and I 100% practice what I preach. 

We can do a lot to positively impact the quality of our minds, our wellbeing, and the extent to which we enjoy our life experience regardless of what’s happening around us…

If we are intentional about it.

So, if the upcoming election season isn’t really affecting you, keep on keeping on. If, however, you’re like so many Americans who are, in fact, feeling stressed, anxious, depressed, and/or angry, I’ve got you.

Here’s how to stay sane this election season (or, for my non-American friends reading this, during times when tensions are high).

Knowledge Is Power

As the old saying goes, knowledge is power. In this case, though, I am referring to self knowledge. Understanding a bit about how human minds work can go a long way in sidestepping some of the stress pitfalls we’re being bombarded with.

In a very small nutshell, our brains want to keep us alive. They like certainty and knowing what to expect because inside of familiarity and perceived predictability we have a sense of safety.

Things aren’t feeling very certain – or safe – for a lot of people right now.

 To borrow from the U.S. military, when we hit VUCA situations, those that are volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous, our minds kind of freak out. Anxiety, our built in threat detection system, kicks into high gear. It looks for anything and everything that could possibly go wrong or be bad for us. The result? We feel anxious and start having all kinds of negative, catastrophic, worst-case scenario, racing thoughts.

Not a recipe for a tranquil headspace.

The second piece of self-knowledge you need to understand is that every human brain produces biased or distorted thinking that we’re not always – probably not even usually, unless you’ve done a lot of work – aware of.

Yes, that means you.

And yes, me, too.

Every. Single. One of us has a somewhat warped or inaccurate view of this shared reality.

This is relevant for election season for a many reasons, but the overarching one is that just because you think something, even if you believe it in your bones, does not mean it is factually accurate.

Same goes for others. Confidence in a belief does NOT equal accuracy.

This comes into play especially as move we into the realm of predictions. No one knows the future. Some people may be able to make more informed guesses about what will happen or how things will play out, but no one knows for sure.

We believe. We think.

And thinking can be twisted.

So, armed with this knowledge, how to we keep from losing our ever-loving cool for the next couple of months?

Strategies for Surviving Election Season with Your Sanity and Wellbeing in Tact

1.  Limit your media consumption.

This is a hill I will die on. You do not actually need to watch the news. In fact, I could argue that you need to NOT watch the news if your goal is to have any kind of happiness.

Despite accusations to the contrary, I’m not advocating for burying your head in the sand. I am, however, cautioning against taking in the mental equivalent of junk food. What we focus our attention on has a dramatic impact on us, on how we think, how we see the world, and how we feel.

These days, it’s more noise than news being broadcast. News is (relatively) unbiased factual information. Noise is conjecture. The narratives people spin. Predictions, accusations, interpretations, assumptions, opinions. All noise.

And if your mind is already a noisy place, it doesn’t need any extra.

Media outlets and content platforms are competing for an incredibly valuable commodity: our attention. Fear and anger are extremely effective in snagging our attention, so watch out for – or more aptly, don’t watch - things that stoke those flames.

When it comes to consuming digital content, I urge you to really consider, will I be able to do anything with this information besides worry or complain? If the answer is no, then it isn’t actually helping you do anything other than spend more time in a negative emotional state.

If you absolutely are unwilling to let go of the idea that you need to be informed, then at least be intentional about it. Take in a limited amount of news, in a less stimulating (read that: less activating to your nervous system) format. This means read long-form neutral content from reputable sources rather than watching flashy videos with loud voices.

2.  Focus on what you can actually control.

It’s natural to want control. We all do. We hate feeling out of control, and VUCA makes us feel that way, for sure. What I see time and time again, though, is the misapplication of control – people trying to control things they can’t and not controlling things they can.

In other words, we often fall for the illusion of control, doing (or not doing) things because it cuts down on feeling out of control EVEN THOUGH it doesn’t actually work.

To beat a dead horse here, watching the “news” might give you the sense that you’re in the know and, therefore, in control, but you’re not. Assuming that what you’re consuming is actual news and not noise, unless you are making decisions and taking action based on that knowledge, you don’t need it.

“But Dr. Ashley, you said knowledge is power.”

I did… If you can do something with that knowledge. My hope in sharing above is that you’ll use that knowledge to be compassionate with yourself and others and then take some steps to help yourself cope well right now.

If you can’t act on it, in the real world, I’d question dedicating time, energy, and attention to it.

Remember, worry isn’t a strategy. It’s not an effective action in the outside world. It’s just a mental action that makes us feel like we’re doing something, a way to get control. But it isn’t.

What can you control? Your attention, your attitude, your behaviors. Focus on those.

3.  Speaking of controlling attention, up your mindfulness game.

Mindfulness is such a key component of psychological strength and wellbeing. It’s harder to be present and non-judgmental during stressful times, especially if we don’t like them (which is a judgment, by the way). It turns out, though, that it’s probably even more important to pump up that mindfulness muscle during those times as a way to stave off stress and boost all the good stuff.

To do that, pay attention, without judgment, to the here and now. What’s real right now? What are you experiencing in real time? Are you paying attention to what it is you’re doing right now or is your mind somewhere else? Are you doing all of this without judging your present experience as good or bad? Are you embracing the mentality it is what it is?

4.  Communicate with others effectively.

We are wired for an Us/Them mentality, and the American bipartisan system capitalizes on that. We get hijacked by the Us/Them, and it can make it hard to step outside of that and find common ground. If we want to facilitate change, though, we need to communicate effectively with those in the Them camp.

Emphasis on effectively.

 If you attack someone’s beliefs, their opinions, or their candidate, you’re most likely also attacking their identity, their sense of self, and that’s going to trigger their fight-or-flight response, which will prompt them to defend their identity or get away. Neither of those is conducive to persuasion.

If your goal is to take action in the real world by, say, trying to influence someone to vote for your candidate or shift their view on an important issue, you cannot attack. No name calling. No insults. No criticism. It’s tempting, but it won’t work. They will dig in deeper to defend their position.

Instead, listen first. If you can’t understand their position, then you probably won’t be able to persuade them from it. So, again, listen. With respect. Then communicate. With respect.

It’s also important to know when to accept that they are not going to change. Remember that it’s ok to agree to disagree. Someone else’s beliefs are not an assault on you…even though it might feel like it, thanks to our identifies getting all tangled up in politics these days.

We are a species designed for cooperation. If we can communicate well, remember that belief does not equal fact, step outside of Us/Them, and focus on effective action rather than on winning and losing, we just might be able to work together or at least ditch a lot of unnecessary psychological struggle and strife.

5.  Finally, stay true to your values.

Fear, anger, despair, disgust. These will probably all make an appearance. They might even permanently move in. While understandable, they’re terrible decision-makers, so don’t let hostile emotions call your shots.

Regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in, we can control our attitude and our actions. We can choose to be the kind of person we want to be.

If fear tells you that if X wins, the fate of America is doomed, you can let that fear drive you to act in all kinds of ways… but they probably won’t be ones you’ll be proud of down the road. Stay true to your values, and you’ll weather any storm with more resilience.

Things may get (more) tense in the upcoming weeks, but I think we’ve got a real opportunity here. We have a chance to take responsibility for ourselves and to practice psychological strength in real time. We can choose fear or hope. I choose the latter.

Find Happiness Regardless of What Life Throws at You

My new book is full of short, relatable lessons that dive deeper into some of these concepts like the way our minds work and how they distort our thinking, how to deal with difficult emotions, how to communicate and forge healthy relationships, and, ultimately, how to be happy. Get your copy today!

"Fear is always with us, but we just don't have time for it. Not now." -Hillary Clinton