"The Illusionary Stories That Hurt Us Most"

No matter the human experience, we all walk around with memories of the past that develop our perception of reality. Negative interactions with our loved ones seem to scar us most, and as we age into our more mature years, these are the wounds that will reflect the stability of our relationships.

In my past, there has been an overwhelming amount of abandonment, abuse, and neglect. Which has built a fragmented foundation for engagement with loved ones at times. I constantly need to actively listen and relearn the negative habits that have accompanied me for most of my life. I would have trust issues even though there was no reason for it. Stories would form in my head of why this person cannot be trusted, and a belief would start to build itself around illusionary thoughts.

Of course, when you don't see reality for what it truly is, then this can cause a host of different problems to arise. You wish to be loved and cared for, but the thoughts and emotions swirl around a single story. This story was created from past emotional pain that becomes a new narrative attached to your present life.

Our scars don't actually protect us. In fact, they only hurt us more, if we don't place awareness on our own stories, we will never upgrade our quality of life. Being defensive and guarded is a primitive human instinctual response to living in adverse conditions, while always under threat. But I'm here to tell you, there are no grizzly bears that will jump out and attack us, at least not when we are trying to form social, family, or romantic connections.

Ultimately, it's imperative to start opening up these stories and begin examining them objectively with our awareness. We will continue to be victims of our own thoughts if we keep reinforcing these detrimental narratives over & over.

There is a two-step process that can assist you or anyone with finding the truth in this reality. Firstly, we need to equip ourselves with breaks to slow down the speed of our thoughts. Our mind is much like a monkey swinging from tree to tree aimlessly. The power of positive thinking is almost always overrun with negative stories stuck on default, which continuously sends more thoughts to harm us.

Body awareness and being grounded within your own being will act as your breaks for your thoughts. Simply scanning your body slowly from feet up to your forehead will take awareness off your thoughts, and place it onto sensations felt in your body and surrounding environment. Start with just 5 to 10mins every morning when you wake. Set an alarm every day to sit with your body and place awareness on it.

This will build your body awareness like a muscle. You can then start focusing on each step you take that connects to the ground. Make a habit of putting awareness on the weight of your body with each step. Soon it will become effortless, and a strong connection to your body will come to fruition.

Once this has happened you will be able to turn off your thoughts on command. If a story starts playing, and the thoughts that you don't wish to entertain move into your front view of life. Simply focus on your feet walking, and observe the present moment around you. Watch the magic happen as you can finally rest your mind.

Secondly, at this point after three weeks of doing this, we now have enough strength with our awareness to start unpacking these stories and seeing if they're real or just a figment of our imagination. This can be done by talking vocally alone in the mirror or any place you feel safe.

Now it's time to ask yourself these three questions out loud looking yourself in the eyes:

1) Is this story I am telling myself actually true?

2) Has this person done anything to hurt me or done anything for me to not trust them?

3) Have I experienced something in my past that is making me feel this way towards this person?

It's time to answer these questions out loud and remember to speak to yourself with compassion and without judgment. Make sure to place awareness on your feet during this process to ground you into reality to promote clarity, as you will be able to come from a much more authentic place, when not purely thinking from only emotion.

These questions will open the door to the truth. Maybe not right away, but if you keep investigating you will be able to shift this harmful way of thinking into a much more logical and compassionate thought process.

Look, we as humans all have a tremendous gift and burden of living in these meat sack bodies filled with emotional memories that can literally alter the fabric of reality. But we are here to live, and it's our responsibility to take care of ourselves and learn how to heal our wounds. If we cut ourselves and start bleeding, we find a way to stop the bleeding. The same can be said about being emotionally wounded. We must find a way to heal and return back to a wholesome life. The onus is on us to find our path to peace, not for someone or something to do it for us.

Trust me, lose the victim mentality, and accept that we all carry wounds and hurt like everyone else. No one wishes to suffer for the rest of their lives, but when we are inactive with our growth and development.. that's exactly what happens. Get active and understand movement is life.

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