Keeping the Spark Alive: Marriage Tips Straight from the Electric Company

Do you IGNITE or EXTINGUISH?

Would you please let me share a story about marriage?

 I’ve been married twice. Our second marriage has lasted 22 years (so far). It’s a fantastic marriage, and my wife would agree—except when we disagree. And disagreements are part of the deal; don’t fear them.

Recently, we traveled for a memorial service for the husband of my wife’s dear friends. It was a nice trip, including a hotel stay.

That night, as we lay in bed talking, my lovely bride turned to me and said, I wasn’t as attentive as I used to be.

This surprised me and made me reflect on our journey. I’ve always considered myself a loving and attentive guy. I pay attention, listen, and support her.

So, what was I missing?

Because I have a science background, I immediately wondered how magnets maintain attraction and how electric current stays strong—and is that analogous to humans?

When you first meet, connect, and marry, there’s a powerful electrical flow—almost no resistance. The attraction is magnetic.

 Marriage can be like a car that starts reliably 10,000 times and then one day refuses. Most often, the problem is electricity—you don’t have enough.  But you can replace a battery or fix another problem.

You don’t need to be an electrician to understand this. The key is maintaining the attraction and flow. With the right intentions, it can be there forever.

You can increase voltage or decrease resistance to boost electrical flow. The real challenge in marriage is resistance.

One partner can raise the voltage by being more attentive, supportive, and communicative. But electricity needs a continuous flow; if it’s one-sided, it stops.

So, how does resistance creep into a marriage? Over time, our attitudes, goals, and tastes evolve. It’s the new car syndrome—new is exciting, old isn’t.

But here’s the kicker: this is all in our heads.

At your core, who you were at 20 is who you are at 70. Your essence is permanent. Unless disease has altered mental function, you remain your essential self.

Only your body and accumulated thoughts change. Friends, family, and life experiences shape your feelings. With a 50% divorce rate, it’s easy to lose hope.

This thinking is the problem.

You see your partner's essence when you stop overthinking and see without preconceived notions. Bodies age, but inner beauty remains. The more you see this beauty, the stronger the connection. 

My wife of 22 years remains young in so many ways. She is beautiful in her kindness, love, and compassion. She is vibrantly alive with her creative insight and ability to make me laugh and appreciate all she brings.  It is how I view her that matters.

Keep that current flowing with your loved one for a lifetime of delight!

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Thanks for tuning in and being a fantastic partner in your marriage.

By Jimm Hughey, M.S., 'Delighted' Husband & Philosophical Life Artist

As a Conscious Marriage and Relationship Coach, I help couples GROW these qualities to eliminate conflict, promote synergy, and allow dynamic self-development in a partnership.

THANK YOU!

There's more we can talk about. Thank you for listening.

Enjoy!

©️2024, Conscious Marriage Insights, 

Jimm Hughey, M.S. Conscious Marriage & Relationship Coach

062624 DelightfullyMarried.com