Leadership can be very lonely....

Sailing as Captain on merchant ships was a high point of my career

As you might know, Captain is the senior most rank on a merchant ship

While it came with a lot of perks and benefits, it obviously came with a great sense responsibility

I was responsible for the safety of crew – the lives of people onboard

I was responsible for the ship and its cargo worth millions of dollars

As per maritime law, I could even issue birth and death certificates !

A single signature by the Captain on a cargo document would enable movement of millions of dollars through letter of credits across international trade channels

But more than the responsibility, the role came with a high degree of accountability

I was accountable for every action, every decision made on the ship, whether made by me personally or by one of my crew members

While my crew was my team, they were not necessarily my friends

In the middle of the ocean, as Captain, I was on my own

 So I know that leadership can be lonely

 Very lonely…..

That’s one of the perils of leadership

As a leader, you may not be alone. You will have teams around you

 But you could still be lonely

That’s an important distinction to understand

Most people believe that since leaders are managing large teams, they really can’t be lonely, right ?

Especially if you are a well-known “people leader”

But the truth is….

You may NOT have enough people around you with whom you can talk freely about anything

When you struggling, when you under stress or some emotional turmoil, you may find it difficult to open up to people around you

Look….

Leadership and loneliness are synonymous to a large extent

You can’t deny it. It’s a fact. It comes with the job

It’s like a gift and a burden at the same time

The key is NOT to try and fix loneliness by forcing into social relationships

So here are 3 specific steps I recommend you explore :

Step 1 – Awareness

The first step is to be aware of it

Acknowledge it

Don’t ignore it. Don’t deny it

Beyond the façade of a strong leader, you are ultimately human

You also have feelings and emotions, you also struggle and feel overwhelmed at times

Also be aware how this could be unconsciously impacting other areas of your life - stress, anxiety, health, relationships

 Step 2 - Reflection

 Use loneliness as your guide occasionally for introspection, for reflection

This is where you can convert it into a gift

This is important as with time and experience, you end up developing a fixed pattern of thinking and mindset. Self-reflection can be a power tool to learn and grow

And loneliness can aid in self-reflection

Step 3 – Empty Your Cup

Find a confidant with whom you can share and discuss from time to time

This could be a mentor, a coach, your partner, a close friend…someone you can talk to openly without any fear of judgement

This is really important as the higher you rise, the more difficult it becomes for you to open up to people around you

You tend to keep things to yourself, so the issues keep piling up

Hence, the need to empty your cup

A confidant will also help you in step 2 above ( reflection ) – challenge your thinking from time to time

Look….

I have been there before, so I know how lonely it can get at the top and how it feels like

That’s why when I coach senior leaders, I can not only relate to how you feel, but also provide you a safe space to freely express yourself….

 ..Talk about your feelings, your challenges and your struggles, your fears and your frustrations, your dreams and your desires

Over to you now

1) What is your biggest challenge, when it comes to opening up to people around you ?

2) As a leader, do you feel lonely at times ? If yes, how does it impact you ?

I would be keen to hear your thoughts and feedback

It’s time for you to open up and talk