Leadership Lessons from Caretaking: Embracing Transformation, Celebrating Progress and Building Resilience

October is a month of reflection and transformation, making it the perfect time to share insights from one of the most defining experiences of my life: becoming a caretaker for my mother. This journey has not only tested my resilience but has profoundly enriched my understanding of leadership.

So many of you are caretakers for family, children, friends and your community. How has it shaped your approach to leadership?

Navigating Crisis with Self-Compassion and Clarity

When my mother's health changed suddenly, my family's world shifted dramatically. The need for clear, immediate decisions mirrored the crisis management skills required in professional leadership. My husband and sister have provided essential support, allowing me to balance the emotional, tactical, and financial responsibilities of becoming a legal guardian without losing sight of my professional ambitions. Their unwavering presence has helped me navigate these new waters, reminding me of the importance of a supportive team in any leadership scenario.

My ‘team’ has also encouraged me to create the space for rest and for brief moments of self-reflection. Taking the time to lean into the difficult emotions - regret, disappointment, disbelief, grief, insecurity, and uncertainty to name only a few. Taking a moment to feel, accept, then release, those feelings helps me gather my personal strength to see a situation with a clear head and prioritize where to allocate my limited time, taking the step back to remember the most important thing to me - family.

Our lives completely transformed in a moment! Now 5 years later, we approach each day with gratitude, finding joy in the small moments, and laser-focused on how to continue encouraging her recovery. A key lesson I’ve taken away so far is the ability to set and pursue clear, achievable goals—a practice directly translatable to my professional endeavors.

Patience: The Bedrock of Progressive Leadership

In both caregiving and business, setting a plan with a clear process is crucial to achieving your goals. In addition to driving forward, we pair that with the patience to allow the process to unfold as well as anticipate setbacks will occur. 

Progress is rarely linear, whether in recovery from illness or professional growth. Learning to accept and work through setbacks with grace has reinforced my leadership, teaching me the value of resilience and steady support in nurturing others' growth. Leadership is about adjusting your pace and approach to meet those you lead where they are.

Firmly rooted in my personal values as well as keeping the big picture goal in mind, it is easier to weather the storms of daily challenges. I often remind my mother of how far she’s come, the strength and resilience she’s shown, and how she continues to be an inspiration to me as well as our broader family and friends. That boost gives her the momentum to try that difficult therapy exercise one more time, then one more time… Some days are small steps, some are backwards, some are big, but we keep walking.

Communication: Learning a New Language of Leadership

After initially losing the ability to speak, write, and type, adapting to my mother's new communication needs was a significant challenge. Boiling down complex thoughts into a gesture or a few words forced the need to drive to the core of an issue quickly and using other methods like tone of voice and facial expressions to convey complexity. 

This surprisingly enhanced my approach to executive coaching, refining my ability to ask short powerful questions and waiting patiently for a response has transformed my conversations into ones that are focused on the needs of my clients, continuing to put them in the center.

Enhanced listening skills and sensitivity to non-verbal cues have made me a more effective leader, able to foster a more inclusive and understanding environment.

Empathy and Inclusivity: Broadening Perspectives

Caring for my mother deepened my empathy, profoundly affecting my approach to leadership. What seems like small things to us, for example re-learning to button a shirt, were causes for huge celebration. Sitting alongside her encouraging, but not doing it for her, has taught me that each person has their own path and every forward step should be celebrated! I’m there as support and as an advocate, helping her find the strength and facility within herself. She gets stronger everyday! 

Recognizing the silent struggles people face has driven me to create a more supportive and inclusive workplace, especially for our colleagues with invisible disabilities. This approach not only enriches our work culture but also enhances team cohesion and productivity.

Adaptability: The Key to Resilient Leadership

The constant adjustments required in caretaking mirror the dynamic nature of today’s business world. My enhanced ability to pivot and innovate under pressure has proven invaluable, enabling me to lead my team through various challenges with confidence and strategic foresight. 

As a leader, we can never stop learning and evolving. Our life experiences at every age and stage of our lives are unique opportunities to expand our perspectives, learn from our mistakes and help others along the way. I often hear similar stories from individuals who have experienced a personal tragedy or the transformative power of being a new parent. 

Concluding Reflections

As we move through October, a month that reminds us of the beauty and inevitability of change, I reflect on how caretaking has instilled in me a leadership philosophy centered on compassion, patience, and adaptability. These qualities go beyond the confines of traditional business leadership, extending into every interaction and decision I make.

This story is just one of many that illustrate how personal challenges, like caretaking, can be a rewarding experience as well as develop key leadership qualities necessary for effective guidance and influence in any setting. As we embrace all kinds of transformations this October, let's remember the lessons learned from the most unexpected places and how they can illuminate our paths to better leadership.

#caretakers #dei #carers #leadership #transformation #resilient