The Lost Art of Connecting

Hello and happy Thursday to you! This week’s newsletter is going to focus on the positives of connecting instead of networking! And coming up shortly, you can join in for my weekly Newsweek interview series, Better, at 12 pm EDT / 9 am PDT/5 pm BST. This week’s guest is Soulaima Gourani, the Cofounder and CEO of Happioh! Our topic today is how to start from zero and raise one million. Please join us here.

Don’t worry if you can’t make today’s interview, because we always make sure to archive each episode! It’s uploaded to my YouTube page. If you’d like to be notified when the newest episode is available, subscribe to my channel and you’ll receive a notification.

Networking can be daunting for those who tend to feel shy, intimidated by strong personalities, or by those who have accomplished something great. Susan McPherson, the author of The Lost Art of Connecting, focuses on genuine connections instead of business transactions. We might not want to network with people, per se, but everyone wants to feel connected as we do with our friends and family. Here are a few suggestions on how to tear down the concept of networking and make it palatable for anyone. For more from Susan, you can watch the rest of our interview here.

Small habits to stay connected

“Every morning, and neurotically so, I would text, WhatsApp, phone call, email, shout out my window to three to five people every day. And there were three goals. One, is to put a little joy in the world. Two, would be to ask people how they were doing. And three, to just flay my arms up in the air and say, ‘Don't forget me!’ And people would ask me (and they still do), how do you have time? I always say, 'I have time to brush my teeth.' So that is how I stay as best as I can connected.”

The value of connection over networking

“I always want to distinguish between networking and connecting. If you look up the definition of networking in the Miriam Webster dictionary, it's pretty icky. But if you look up the word connecting, it’s completely different. I liken connecting to being more feasible and manageable for people, even if they're shy or introverted because it's one-on-one. Lead with how you can be helpful to others versus ‘What can I get, what can this person do for me?’ Because I fervently believe that when you are helpful to others, the help comes back in spades. And just a side note, I founded my company nine years ago at the grand young age of 48. 90% of our business over the last nine years has been inbound. So what that tells me, is making time and space for connections in my twenties, in my thirties, and a good part of my forties actually has come back and financially rewarded, not only myself but my 15 employees.” 

Focusing on your superpowers

“When you are meeting with someone whom you perceive to have more power or more experience than you, it is all the more important to walk into that meeting or introduction knowing what your superpowers are. No matter who you are, whether you are just approaching college or you're approaching retirement, you have superpowers and they're going to ebb and flow. Sometimes somebody will say to me, ‘Well, you know, Susan, you have all this experience.’ And I'll say to you. ‘Tik Tok. I, for the life of me, can't figure out Tik Tok. So if somebody comes up to me and says, ‘Susan, I will help you.’ Guess what? None of the power dynamics even matter. The point is to think every day, every week, what are your superpowers? They're going to change. They're going to ebb and they're going to flow, but you all have them.”

Thank you as always for reading my newsletter! I hope to see you soon for my conversation with Soulaima Gourani!

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Wishing you health and success - 

Dorie