Mending heart and mind...
Tom Doherty, Jr
People-First Operations Leader | (EQ) Leadership | Team Builder | Versatile Workplace Operations Management | People's Champion |🐺Volunteer Docent (Wolf Whisperer) 🐺 | Dad x 4
Today would have been my dad’s 70th birthday but sadly he took his own life 20 years ago. Why would I post this on LinkedIn? Well, mental health matters more than ever and shouldn’t be a stigma. I have learned (many years later) that it is therapeutic to talk and speak about it.
At the time this happened, I was a young father to 3 boys under the age of 10. I was absolutely devasted, embarrassed, ashamed, hurt, angry, sad and probably every other emotion there is. I did everything I could not talk about it, I didn’t want people to know. I shunned offers for people to come to the services and I put on the brave face as his only child. Growing up, we were not allowed to talk about what was happening at home as not to embarrass the family or let people into our “business”.
Years later, I finally forgave him, who am I to judge the challenges he had to overcome? Instead, I chose to admire that he loved me deeply. He gave me the greatest gift of travel and how to talk and treat everyone from the janitor to the CEO with respect and engagement. Most of all, this tragic event gave me more empathy and compassion for others and those around me. I certainly miss him and wish he had the opportunity to see his grandchildren blossom.
My hope is this article gives you the strength to reach out for help if needed or not be afraid to disclose the mental health challenges you or your family are facing.
#mentalhealthmatters #suicideawareness #empathy #listennojudgement #humankind #born2matter
Director of Channel North America - Cyber Security, CRN Channel Chief 2022 & 2023
2yTommy, you have amazing strength and perspective. God bless your dad on his birthday.
Freelance web developer @ scarpaweb.com
3yYour dad would be very proud of the son he had. You were the best manager I ever had. I will never forget that. Thank you!
People-First Operations Leader | (EQ) Leadership | Team Builder | Versatile Workplace Operations Management | People's Champion |🐺Volunteer Docent (Wolf Whisperer) 🐺 | Dad x 4
3yI am so moved by all the feedback, discussion, and messages. Someone asked when it first happened what was my initial reaction. Looking back now, (outside of utter disbelief) it seemed like I was falling down a long staircase. If you have ever fallen down a flight of stairs you know exactly what I mean. As you are falling, everything is in slow motion-your doing everything you can to stop but can't as you bounce and tumble to the bottom. Then of course it is the reality and huge thud of hitting the bottom. You then have to make that slow, painful climb step-by-step back to the top unsure you will make it and maybe even fall back a few times. To all those making the climb please keep going. ~ Tom
Thomas, your venerability and willingness to share your truth is what continues to draw me to you. Many people wouldn’t want to share these moments with others. I appreciate the truth, you exude confidence within yourself and I love that you are a true leader. I’ve learned so much from you, I can only hope to be half the wonderful human and leader you are. Thank you for sharing some of the most venerable things that have happened in your life. You continue to show me that human connection is anything but coincidence. Thank you. I’ll always cherish having met you.
Quality and Risk Project Director at CLA
3yThanks for sharing Tom. Your message rings true today for many who are struggling as it did 20 years ago for you. May the awareness you bring help us recognize and help those with mental illness.