The Mirror & The Window - through the keyhole of mental health.

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

It is time to share life experiences of the path to becoming an R.N and working as a R.N, in relationship to mental health. I like many, have had the mental health labels in my PMHx, and what a GIFT to have explored first-hand the darkness, and to no longer have any attachment to any of them. No matter the past, U can rewire the mind-body pathways. You are a GIFT in becoming.

LIFE happens for YOU, not to you. 

It makes sense as I was deep in my Victim & Trauma cyclical patterns, which served to PROTECT what was deeper (innocence). This I know......You will never OPEN when you feel unsafe, unseen, unheard and judged.

So, the path of shifting 'Victim to Freedom' is MISUNDERSTOOD, SUPPRESSED and MISDIRECTED (I believe) especially in the area of mental health & psychiatry.' 

It is a system DESIGNED to keep U trapped. 

Controlled and in a box.  

I had to be put in the box to understand the system, from BOTH sides of the GLASS. As experience gathered in a degree is NOWHERE near close, to having 'Real Life experiences' 

A NURSE IN BECOMING ... 

My nursing career came to an end in 2017,  26-years in the industry. A fun & colourful journey, where resistance began as a student nurse where my CHARACTER was up for review. 

WHY? 

Background story

I’d disclosed in CONFIDENCE why I had been absent many days in my nurse training. I disclosed sensitive and personal information. The abuse, the broken noses, a smashed up face and the deep psychological and emotionally abuse in my current relationship and the most sensitive part, my No, ignored when not wanting sex. 

I was experiencing ‘Domestic violence and sex without consent (rape)’.   I was SCREAMING out for help and my VULNERABILITY got thrown back in my face and I was REMOVED from practice!  As I was labelled HIGH RISK’ at harming patients as APPARENTLY, I was deemed UNSAFE, UNSTABLE . Thus, ‘removed from practice.’ 

Honesty REPRIMANDED. 

Sure, I was numbing out on self-harm, alcohol, weed, Ecstasy at the weekends. I LIVED for the weekends, as in those moments of LOOSING myself, I felt FREE from the inner judgment, the self-loathing. I felt accepted and DANCE was my medicine. PAIN was one of my addictions and it was the pathway that OPENED my eyes to the WISDOM I got to awaken in the BODIES. 

Anti-depressants or Valium were OK, in their eyes, also in my body chemistry.

I was 'flat lining' in numbness.

I like many was the OPEN BOOK. 

Sharing my story as I was seeking validation. 

Thinking it was who I was. 

VULNERABILITY getting misused. 

I had a deep and visceral longing and need to be heard, seen and loved.  I felt powerless, hopeless & worthless. I was clutching at straws to PUSH myself through the shame of staying in the abuse and not being able to ‘Fix it’, and the shame of not loving myself enough to WALK away.  I felt like an emotional fuck up, so getting into nursing was a way to help and care for other’s. As I was unable to do for myself, it was MASK to feel worthy and RESPECTED in society.  I felt UNLOVEABLE and that it was ALL MY FAULT. 

Cut a long story short, as You can buy and read my Memoir, ‘Breaking FREE’. 

It is book you’ll read over and over and most will relate to the story. The TRUTH is I came back stronger, and anything they tried to hang onto me, I gave it back to them, even harder. I shone a light on their SHIT and told them they were NOTHING in the bigger picture  of my GREAT life, and that they best get out my way, as I will MOW them down. 

Everything they presented me to jump through, I excelled. My SPIRIT SOARED and RESILIENCE strengthened. I did what I needed to do. Two others, didn’t make it, they left broken, and spat out. 

Post graduation, the greatest joke of all, being given a piece of paper that was useless. I was UNABLE to get a job as I was marked me as;

‘NOT GOOD CHARACTER!’  

READ my Full article HERE... to see what happens next, and...

I'll disclose:

• How I found a way beyond the system.
• How I supported / guided and protected others trapped in the system.
• Why I was reprimanded for supporting suicidal victims in 'feeling good!'
• And WHY shifting Victim to Freedom is vital for the survival of humanity.

It is my intention for you to;

Gain a deeper understanding into 'Victim consciousness and The Art of being human', in a world of opinion and judgment, and the humility & compassion to remember how easy it is to fall off the rails. How getting lost in the inner darkness is a rites of passage and the courage to become unstuck & unstable. How else can TRUE INNER TRANSFORMATION happen, when holding on in normality, complacently and FEAR.  

The power of resilience and vulnerability, as a free human spirit is UNTAPPED for many. 

In-joy the article.

Zoe Bell

Upcoming events to spends time & play with me!

🔥 IGNITE THE HEALER WITHIN - 8th October - Newcastle - BOOK IN

🔥 SACRED rage - October 22nd - Adelaide - BOOK here 

💎💙💎 'The Future HueMan Experience' 💎💙💎

- a 13-week Portal - Launches October, 2022. 

Webinar on it's way! 

This is ideal for ALL who experienced the darkness of life, addictions, and interested in EVOLVING HEALING, HealthCare and Education. 

Yes, I AM and WE are about to DISRUPT the systems. 

Balance is required and there is a MUCH Simpler WAY. 

WE CAME HERE FOR A BIGGER MISSION. 

#mentalhealth #awarenessmatters #disruption #timetoshift #healinghumanity