My Story | My Initiative: www.Lebe-das-Leben.de | www.Live-Your-Life.org (Part 1)

“We are living in this complex world where everything works on high speed. We are energetic, we are flexible, we challenge ourselves, we are competing, we are always available, we want to grow, thrive and maximize our productivity. We do all of this with great pleasure and excitement.

 It was exactly one of these days when I was sitting in my office. It was late afternoon and the sun was shining as I was reading through my papers, correcting them, trying to find new ideas. I can still remember how happy I had been that day. Simply smiling into the day. I was feeling positive, I was in no rush and completely in flow mode doing my thing. I was enthusiastically working on this big project and it happened that I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I forgot to take my lunchbreak, but that was okay. I kept on working and working as my phone rang. The caller ID displayed my father. We had a very close relationship, but we hadn’t talked to each other for a few days, so I joyfully picked up the phone to talk to him.

“Hello Dad” I said, waiting for his reply, but it was not him replying to me. A female voice warily greeted me. I knew immediately that something bad had happened. I could hear it in her voice that something was extremely wrong. I stood up preparing for the daring news. I was standing still. She told me that they just found my father in his apartment laying on the floor. She said, he couldn’t move or speak properly and that they already had called the ambulance. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. I didn’t know what to do. I urged her to hold up the phone to his ear that I could talk to him, that I could ask him for how long he was already laying on the floor. Unfortunately, I didn’t understand a single word. He was only mumbling. When she picked up the phone again I made her put the phone back to his ear. What if he was dying? Tears were running down my face. Everything around me fell silent. I tried to calm him down. I told him that I loved him, that everything would be okay and he shouldn’t worry. I wasn’t sure if he would survive. I wasn’t sure if we ever saw each other again. I wasn’t sure if we would ever have the chance to talk to each other again like we used to do.

 I was miles away standing alone in my office room and not moving an inch. I didn’t dare to move. I felt lost and there was nothing I could do, except to talk to him. I closed my eyes as my vision was too blurry anyways. In my head, I was silently praying that he wouldn’t die, but if he did, I wanted him to hear his daughter’s voice, my voice.

 The phone connection broke off.”    



That happened three years ago, in May 2014. My father had a severe stroke, which he survived. After driving all night, I saw him the very next morning. His right side of his body was paralyzed. Seeing him like this was very tough. At night, he suffered another stroke and heart attack. His doctors put him into coma. Recovering from the coma, it showed that he couldn’t take care of his everyday life anymore. The damages resulting from the stroke left him physically and mentally disabled. After he has been in hospital for a few months for further treatments, we had to decide where and how he was supposed to be taken care of in the future. To ensure full-time care, we decided to transfer him into a nursing home. Eventually, as our father's legal guardians my brother and I took responsibility of his life.

Why am I sharing this?

I have been thinking about sharing this for a while, but being a mother now and holding my son in my arms every day, I feel more and more compelled to speak up, to talk about the things that personally matter to me and about my experiences. With doing so I hope to motivate and encourage others to keep their head up even if the wind is blowing very harsh. Experiences like this don’t only influence our private life, but also our potential and productivity at work. Therefore, I am convinced that it is very important to talk about these experiences and emotions, but also to understand that healing takes time.

With this background, I decided to start my personal initiative with my Partner Matthias Linde and my brother Stephan Ngoli to promote healthcare related topics:

 <Lebe das Leben | Live Your Life> Initiative: 

Our Commitment

… is to share our positive and difficult experiences as a family with coping with our father’s disability.

Additionally, we want to share information on healthcare related topics, such as healthcare promotion and prevention, long-term care and home care and physical and mental rehabilitation.

 Our Educational Efforts

... include promoting healthcare related topics, supporting and consult advice seekers, patients and relatives to identify healthcare solutions, connect with healthcare representatives and mediate between the different parties within the healthcare sector.

Our Social Contribution

… is to secure the preconditions for physical and mental health, promote the development of healthcare services and public health policies regarding the demographic change, changing range of disease causes, social structures and financing possibilities as well as the change in the healthcare sector.

Our Values: Humanity  - Respect  - Sustainability

What can you expect next?

Within the next weeks I will continue the introduction story from above and publish an article series “My Story: Personal Growth By Navigating Through Grief”.

These articles will reflect different phases within the past three years by describing how we handled our father’s situation, our difficulties, my emotional setbacks, my failures and especially my lessons learned and how I found happiness again.

I invite you on our journey exploring the healthcare landscape sharing experiences, knowledge and new ideas, initiating discussions and to find innovative new healthcare solutions.

Help me promote our initiative and visit www.Lebe-das-Leben.de | www.Live-Your-Life.org

Please use the comment section to share your thoughts and experiences, if you like. I will read them!

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples” (Mother Teresa)

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 Thank YOU!

 Cathérine Ngoli

Read more:  My Story Part 2: Denial - It just can't be true! 

[This article reflects my personal or private experiences and thoughts.]