Own Your Life, Edition #7: Mastering Emotional Intelligence

Welcome to the seventh edition of "Own Your Life," where we delve into the transformative power of emotional intelligence (EQ). here I have listed a few Simple and Advanced Strategies to Master EI.

As a Master Practitioner in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and a Practitioner of Psycho Soma Pneuma (PSP), I'll guide you through understanding, developing, and applying emotional intelligence to enhance your personal and professional life.

By the end of this edition, you'll have practical strategies, exercises, and real-life examples to boost your EQ and improve your relationships, communication skills, and overall emotional well-being.

Understanding and Defining Emotional Intelligence:

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and utilize your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, and recognize and understand the emotions of others to empathise, overcome challenges and diffuse conflict. It involves self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

NLP and PSP offer powerful tools to enhance these areas by reprogramming thought patterns and integrating mind-body-spirit connections.

Strategies for Developing EQ:

1. Self-Awareness:

• Definition: Recognizing and understanding your own emotions and their impact on others.

Simple Strategies

o   Keep an Emotion Journal: Track your emotions and triggers throughout the day.

o    Mindfulness Meditation: Practice being present and fully experiencing your emotions without judgment.

o   Reflective Questions: Ask yourself what you are feeling and why in various situations.

Advanced Strategies Using: -

•  NLP Tools: Meta-Model: Use specific questioning techniques to uncover deeper layers of your thoughts and feelings. Anchoring: Create positive emotional anchors to quickly access empowering states.
• PSP Techniques: Mind-Body Integration: Practice techniques to become more aware of bodily sensations linked to emotions. Breathwork: Use breath control to stay present and connected to your emotional states.

2. Self-Regulation:

Definition: Managing emotions in healthy ways and controlling impulsive feelings and behaviours and adapt to changing circumstances.

Simple Strategies

o   Pause and Think: Before reacting, take a moment to consider the consequences of your actions.

o   Practice Stress Management: Techniques like deep breathing, yoga, and progressive muscle relaxation.

o   Positive Visualization: Imagine successful outcomes to stressful scenarios.

Advanced Strategies Using: -

• NLP Tools: Reframing: Change the meaning of negative events to find positive perspectives. Swish Pattern: Replace unwanted behaviours or feelings with more desirable ones.
• PSP Techniques: Progressive Relaxation: Use relaxation exercises to reduce stress and enhance emotional control. Visualization: Imagine positive outcomes to maintain calm and focus.

3. Motivation:

·      Definition: Harnessing emotions to pursue goals with energy and persistence.

Simple Strategies

o   Set Clear Goals: Define what you want to achieve and why it matters.

o       Visualize Success: Regularly picture yourself achieving your goals.

o       Reward Yourself: Celebrate small victories to maintain motivation.

Advanced Strategies Using: -

• NLP Tools: Well-Formed Outcomes: Set clear, achievable goals using specific criteria. Future Pacing: Mentally rehearse achieving your goals to increase motivation.
• PSP Techniques: Affirmations: Use positive statements to align your subconscious with your goals. Energy Work: Utilize techniques to boost your energy and maintain motivation.

4. Empathy:

• Definition: Understanding and sharing the feelings of others with compassion

Simple Strategies

o   Active Listening: Fully concentrate, understand, respond, and remember what others say.

o   Perspective-Taking: Try to see situations from others' viewpoints.

o   Emotional Validation: Acknowledge and validate others' feelings without judgment.

o   Advanced Strategies Using: -

NLP Tools:

• Mirroring and Matching: Subtly mirror the body language and tone of others to build rapport.
• Perceptual Positions: Practice viewing situations from multiple perspectives to deepen empathy.
• PSP Techniques: Heart-Centred Meditation: Focus on heart energy to enhance compassion and connection. Emotional Resonance: Develop the ability to feel and resonate with others' emotions.

5. Social Skills:

• Definition: Building and maintaining healthy relationships through effective communication and interactions.

·       Simple Strategies

o    Develop Communication Skills: Practice clear, assertive, and respectful communication.

o   Conflict Resolution: Learn to address and resolve conflicts in a positive manner.

o    Networking: Build relationships by showing genuine interest in others and being a good listener.

·       Advanced Strategies Using: -

• NLP Tools: Rapport Building: Use NLP techniques to establish trust and understanding. Language Patterns: Enhance communication skills with specific NLP language models.
• PSP Techniques: Holistic Communication: Integrate body, mind, and spirit in your interactions for deeper connections. Active Listening: Fully engage with others to understand and respond effectively.

Benefits of High EQ:

• Personal Settings: Improved relationships, better mental health, increased self-awareness, and self-control.
• Professional Settings: Enhanced leadership abilities, better teamwork, increased resilience, and effective communication skills.

Practical Exercises:

1. Mindfulness Practice: Spend 5-10 minutes daily practicing mindfulness to increase self-awareness. Use NLP anchoring to reinforce calm states.
2. Emotion Regulation Technique: When you feel a strong emotion, take a few deep breaths (PSP technique), count to ten, and then use NLP reframing to view the situation positively.
3. Empathy Exercise: Practice mirroring and matching body language during conversations to build rapport (NLP) and use heart-centred meditation to enhance empathy (PSP).

Additional Resources:

• Books: "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman "The NLP Workbook" by Joseph O'Connor "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk
• Articles: Harvard Business Review on Emotional Intelligence Psychology Today's Emotional Intelligence section
• Courses: Coursera: "Leading with Emotional Intelligence" by Case Western Reserve University Udemy: "Emotional Intelligence: Master Anxiety, Fear, & Emotions"

By incorporating these strategies and exercises into your daily routine, you can enhance your emotional intelligence and take control of your life, leading to improved relationships, better communication, and greater overall well-being.

Stay inspired and keep transforming! Do not hesitate to connect if you need help with Tools and Techniques.

Warm regards,

Rashida Ansari

Emotional Well-Being & Relationship Coach

NLP Master Practitioner & PSP Practitioner.