Practice Gratitude With Malya; 23rd Edition

I want to publicly dedicate this month's Rosh Chodesh Newsletter to Arvin Netanel Ben Afshin (Sonia) HY”D  

Cheshvan is where the real work starts. 

For me to explain this properly, I must rewind back to Tishrei. 

Which month do you feel is the most spiritual month of the year? If you answered Tishrei, you got that correct. That is because there is so much spiritual energy coming down from shamayim during this month. We have Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and Sukkos. 

I spoke to many people after the holiday season and everyone had the same response. They all said how special yom tov was and that they were able to feel the shechina. Just by sitting in the sukkah alone, you get a whole lot of spiritual energy poured into you. 

How do we go from such a high in spirituality to the month of cheshvan where there are no holidays?

And, let’s take it a step further; Cheshvan is actually called Marcheshvan. How do we go from such a high to a month who’s first word is mar which means bitterness? Why is it considered bitter? 

The answer is because this is the only month in the Jewish calendar that does not have any holidays in it. 

So, how do we turn things around and make them positive so that we will not have a bitter month?

The answer lies within you! 

You are the one with the choice. The choice to turn your “Mundane” day into a spiritual experience. It is up to you. When I learned this idea from listening to a Gedale Fenster episode on the month of Cheshvan, it finally all clicked. 

This is my third time writing about the month of cheshvan and each time, I focused on the fact that it is a hard month, so, if you are struggling, just know that that is the energy of the month. But now, I finally understand the true meaning of the month of cheshvan and that is to do the work by yourself and for yourself in order to bring spirituality into your daily lives this month. This is the time for us to build resilience. We have the power to pick ourselves up and strengthen ourselves during this month and push ourselves to do more. 

Unlike the month of Tishrei, where we basically got inspiration for free, this month any inspiration we experience during this month depends on the efforts that we put forth. 

With this knowledge that I just gave you shows you that you have a choice to make: 

1. Do you want inspiration in your life this month? If so, you are the one and the only one who can make that happen for yourself. That means that you can choose to set a time to learn a specific sefer, or say a certain amount of tehillim and so on..
2. You can say I don’t have time to work on my spirituality and you won’t put in the work, but if you choose this option, don’t complain if you have chas v’shalom a hard month. 

So, how do we make the most out of this month?

Number one as I discussed previously, any inspiration you want to receive this month, you have to work for it. Let’s take this a step further, think about 3 things that you want to work on this month. They can be eating healthy, working out, working on your relationships, cleanliness, being on time, showing up positive, the examples are endless. You have to consciously make the choice and then make sure you are working at it each day with the proper action. If you want to work on your health, make sure each day you are eating properly and working out. If you want to be on time, make sure each day you are waking up 15 minutes earlier than you usually do.

The power is in you. Take that power and show yourself that you can do it! 

As Gedale Fenster said in his podcast, “You want to feel good? You are going to have to wake up and make it happen. You are not going to be able to watch things happen, you are going to have to make things happen this month.” 

If you do feel some bitterness during this month, make sure to physically lift your head up because if you do an action it enables things to change. The opposite is true as well, when things go well for you, automatically put your head down to show yourself that your success comes from Hashem. And know that that bitterness won’t stay bitter for long, it will turn into something sweet. 

We as human beings do not always realize the abilities we have to either change ourselves, help someone in need, work better with our clients or at work, but right now I want to remind you that Cheshvan should help you remember your power. It should help you remember your strength. It is incredible to be able to share about Cheshvan in this way because I have always thought of this month as a hard and bitter month. But, in truth it is not. 

This past month has been a beautiful month. I want to give thanks to Hashem for helping me in my business. Every newsletter I try to highlight one person from linkedin who has helped me and recently, with Hashem’s help, I was able to connect with the awesome Fraidy Jerusalem . She helps business owners grow personally and in business and she has really helped me a lot so far. From the few weeks that I have been working with Fraidy, I have been able to resolve different things that have come up in my personal and business life in such a smooth way. Even today, Fraidy called me for 15 minutes to help me with a question that I was facing in my business. She is amazing. Go connect with her. 

I am also so grateful for my client, Optima FQHC Solutions , who flew me to Saratoga to run a 2 day trade show for them. The show went so well and it was such a positive experience. My company's goal is to turn your next trade show into cash flow! I am always so proud of my team after we accomplish our goal of making our clients more money! 

Happy Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan. And remember that the power is in YOU! 

-Malya Adina Feivelson

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