Psst... Our problems aren’t unique… Pass it on

Anxiety over finances, relationship drama, career struggles, health issues… all typical modern-day stressors. But what if I told you these issues that weigh heavily on the minds of many are actually... not all that interesting?

They are a big deal, I’ll give you that, but they aren’t special.

Allow me to provide you with this context - as a mom of many needy young creatures, I don’t typically find myself in “fancy” situations, so if I want to go out and get dressed up, I have to force it. Which is how our night at the opera came to be. Fresh off Season 1 of the Gilded Age (10 out of 10, by the way) I became fixated on attending a performance of the Metropolitan Opera , and for my birthday, my husband made it happen. I should note that we did have to reschedule three times due to various child/family related issues, but where there’s a will there’s a way and we finally made it to the last performance of La bohème on a Saturday afternoon.

Composed by Giacomo Puccini in the 1890s about a group of friends living in Paris, this story for the ages is said to have inspired the hugely successful Broadway musical, RENT. Due to that connection, I thought it would be a good first experience for us novices and I am happy to say it was incredible. The atmosphere at the Met, the performance itself and of course the outfits – can’t forget the outfits… could be an article of its own, but let’s put that to the side for now because back to my earlier point -

With the substantial innovation, technological advancements, and great minds that have come and gone over centuries – you’d think that our problems would have evolved as well. But they haven’t.

So I wonder – what are we solving for? Why haven’t we found something that actually addresses these CORE issues? Or is it that we need to worry about these things? Do we, dare I say – like to? Are these stressors the marker of what it means to really be a grown up? Or is there more to it – is it not simply an indication of who we are – but of what we care about? Said differently – do we even know that we care about our career if we don’t worry about it? Are surges of emotion (things like jealousy, possessiveness, or maybe you’re on the other side of the spectrum – anyone dealing with a stage five clinger??) – do these things HAVE to exist so that we know we care for our partners? So they know that we care for them?

I wonder why, but beyond that, HOW we have gotten to this point and managed not to solve for these very basic drivers of our stress, and it occurs to me that maybe they aren’t meant to be solved. Maybe they exist to tug on our heartstrings in such a way that we know – deep within ourselves – and usually without logic or data to back it up – that there is something we want, something we like – something we need to pursue.

And that’s probably a good thing, because if I see one more whitepaper with an apocalyptic title along the lines of – “AI is coming – are you ready??” – I’m not sure I can handle it. Look - the reality is that no one is ready and that is ok. Spoiler alert: none of the “experts” (including me by the way) have the actual answer to that question. But one thing can be counted on – those basic, core, innate things that drive us (or worry us… it depends on your world view) – they are not going to change. You can find that depressing or you can ride the wave with me and see it as comforting- poetic, even. How magnificent is that?! - to get to be part of the poetry in motion that is the evolution of humanity that spans centuries so consistently that I can sit as a member of the audience watching scenes unfold before me that were penned 130 years ago - and I don’t have to struggle to understand them - because they speak directly to the issues that ACTUALLY matter. And those are timeless.

And if you’re still with me after I chose to use the word “poetry” in a non-ironic way on this professional platform, then you have it too – that instinct (or at least an interest) that allows you to be in lockstep with your peers who get caught up in the latest newsworthy debate while simultaneously taking a birds eye view of what is REALLY at play here – i.e. – are people arguing about coming into the office 2 vs 3 days per week or is this really about how they feel about their basic autonomy and their trustworthiness to make judgement calls? Is that person obsessively counting calories to keep up with a new year’s resolution or are they actually scared – terrified about their health and the impact their near-term decisions will have on their family down the line?

Is that a stretch? Maybe in some instances, but I would venture to say more often than not, many of the “issues” that arise in the workplace – the ones that create friction between leadership and the masses – are not about what you think they are about. If we took a step back and looked clearly (and here’s the hard part – non-judgmentally) at what is happening – we might be able to, as the time-honored expression so perfectly states: see the forest for the trees.

So what's the takeaway here? Clear calendars and require the whole team to go to the Opera? Hey - that’s your call but in the meantime, how about committing to considering the possibility that when workplace “issues” arise, there is likely something broader at play. Something so basic that it transcends generations because at the end of the day we are all more alike than we think.

Christine Robinson is a wife, mother of three wild boys and stepmom to three awesome kids. (Yes, six in total!)

As a Latina, working mother, and community activist, Christine is passionate about empowering women and underrepresented groups in the workplace. She's spent her professional career managing supply and demand and most recently serving as the Head of Resource Management for one of the world’s largest CPA Advisory firms.

Christine enjoys speaking with diverse audiences and has been featured in the New York Times, on podcasts, LinkedInLive events, and on college campuses. She has an MS in Human Resource Management from Fordham University, a BS in Sociology from Bowling Green University, and is a certified Resource Management Professional.

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