Rock the Boat

I was excited. We were meeting with a potential partner for our new business. He was already working with one of our partners and had resources to bring to the table. I had connected with two friends and former clients around a product one of them was working on. When work on the product stalled, we created a new company to take on the product development and move things forward. I was feeling really good about the whole thing. Sitting down at this meeting, I had nothing but positive vibes. It all felt right.

Almost the moment our new potential partner opened his mouth, every part of me started screaming "No!" I couldn't tell you why. I had no rational reasons. I just had a feeling. I didn't like the guy. At all. It was a very strong feeling, but my partners seemed ok with him, and I didn't want to rock the boat, so... we decided to move forward together.

Two years later we were sending communications back and forth through attorneys to end our association with the dude. I apologized to my remaining partners for not saying anything at that first meeting. For not trusting my gut, and for allowing us to get so far down the path. Did some good things happen during those two years? Yes. Absolutely. Could we have gone farther, faster, with less friction had we made a different choice? Yes. Absolutely.

I made a new commitment to myself and my partners that day. That I would never again ignore my intuition. I would trust myself, and not step over anything ever again. I could see very clearly all the times in the past when I'd done some version of the same thing. Known in my gut what the right thing was, and ignored it. Why? The simple answer is fear. Fear of conflict. Fear of losing the job, the opportunity, and the money.

Many years ago, I worked for a company in Dallas. I had coached the CEO and ended up taking the role of company coach for a time. They were moving into a large and costly entertainment business project, and my experience was a good fit for being on the team. I remember being in the first meeting with their new partners and having some really big questions about what they were planning. As things went on, I had that same feeling. I could see what wasn't working, but when I softly broached the subject I got some version of "Don't rock the boat" as a response.

I didn't want to lose my job. We had a new baby at home. Our rent was high. I felt I needed the job. I was desperate not to lose the income, and I wanted it all to work, so I kept my mouth shut. I played along and did what I could do. Within the year the company was out of money and gone. It took me a little while to see how much I had stepped over in response to my fear, but once I did I called the CEO and apologized. As a coach, it's my job to NOT step over things. To ask the tough questions. To lead from possibility and love, not from fear.

It was a big lesson, and when I found that I'd done some version of the same thing in my own business some years later you can imagine I was bummed out. It was a huge growth opportunity that led to a strong commitment. In practice, it's easier said than done. To trust myself. To listen to what I feel. To take a step back examine it, and act in accordance with it, even when those same old fears come up. It's not about me being right. I may be totally off base, but if I don't explore and give credence to my intuition, I'll never know.

Sometimes the boat needs to be rocked. That's when you find out where the holes are. If a little rocking is going to make it sink, it's not a boat I need to be on.