The scariest but most rewarding aspect of life

Tuesday, October 29, 2024 4:07 PM

Today marks our 4th wedding anniversary, and we’ve been together for 12 amazing years.

Marriage is one of the hardest yet most rewarding commitments you can ever make in life.

There are days we drive each other wild.

We are opposites in so many ways, but what we share in common is our love for people, our friends, family, and simply enjoying each other’s company.

I wouldn’t say I was against marriage — that might be too strong — but I certainly didn’t think of it as a good thing.

Because of my parents’ divorce, I once thought marriage was "a trap" and something society has had to adapt to in today’s world, where there are so many shades of gray in life. I just saw that a lot of husbands and wives drive each other crazy. It doesn't help that main stream media also paints a lot of negative interpretations of marriages.

Two years ago, I had my first coaching session with Ian. I went into it thinking, I need to make more money, and that will make me happy.

Ian Koniak gave a keynote called “You Are Not Your Number” that resonated with me at the Sales Success Summit.

I had no idea a big part of our coaching would involve focusing on my marriage and actually prioritizing it. I was essentially doing everything I could to avoid it—traveling to conferences around the world, attending hundreds of networking events a year, justifying it all by saying it was for our family in the long term. But it wasn’t. I was selfishly living in the moment without really planning for the future.

It’s funny because many people come to the Untap Your Sales Potential Community thinking they'll receive sales training to make their dreams come true, and that does happen for many. But what they often don’t realize is that they’ll gain so much more than just financial success. They end up getting their marriages back, working less, and performing better. Being there for their kids, setting boundaries, making time for the things they truly care about instead of just going through the motions.

How is this possible, you ask?

Well, so many of us focus on things that take us further away from our real goals.

We’ve all been guilty of this at times. I know I have been for much of my life.

Thanks to Ian’s coaching, I realized I was chasing the wrong North Star, living a life that, deep down, didn’t make me truly happy. I simply didn’t have the self-awareness to see that I was running away from my problems.

This year, I finally opened up more and shared my insecurities with my wife. Ironically, it’s often easier for me to share with random strangers than it is to be open and honest with her.

I used to focus so much on how different we are, but the truth is, we’re very alike in so many ways. Marriages sometimes bring out the deepest aspects of ourselves that we do not want to see especially want others to see. I feel lucky and grateful to have such a consistent, loving partner, who feels like the only person truly there for me when I’m feeling lost and in the dark.

She gives me so much space to process things. Being a highly sensitive person, I tend to take on others’ emotions, and she understands that deeply.

Happy 4 years, my love. I never thought it was possible that someone could just love me for who I am—not trying to fix me or wanting me to be any different.

Okay, maybe a bit more organized and less loud…

I love you so much, my darling.

Cheers to many, many more.

That's the AI edited version. If you want to see what I typed into chat gpt. Here is the original version. from " to "

"Today is our 4 year anniversary. We've been together for 12 years now.

Marriage is one of the hardest and yet most rewarding commitments you've ever make in your life.

There are days we drive each other wild.

We are opposites in so many ways but what we do share in common is our love for people, our friends, family, and being able to enjoy each others companies.

 I wasn't say I was against marriage that might be strong but I certainly didn't think of it has a good thing. Because of our parents divorce I thought that marriage "was a trap" that something that our society has necessarily adapted to in todays modern world where there are many shades of grey in many areas of life.

 Two years I had my first coaching session with Ian. I came into thinking I need to make more money that will make my happy.

Ian gave a keynote called You are not your number that resonated with me at the Sales Success Summit.

 I have no idea that a big portion of our coaching would be around focusing on the marriage and actually priortizing it. I was basically doing everything I can to run away from the marriage literally traveling to all of these conferences around the world going to hundreds of networking events a year. Justifying that I was doing this for the family long term. No I wasn’t. I was selfishingly living in the moment and was not really planning for the future.

 Its funny because many people come to us. The Untap Your Sales Potential Community thinking that there will get sales training to make the money of your dreams which does happen for many members but what they don’t realize it they will not only get their marriage back. But work less hours and perform better.

 How is this possible you say?

 Well so many of us are focus on so many other things that are taking out away from the goal.

 We all have been guilty of this. 100% I have been most of my life as well.

 Thanks to a lot of Ian's coaching, I realized that I was chasing the wrong north star which is why I  was living a life that I wasn't truly happy about at the bottom of my heart. I just simply didn’t have the self awareness that I was running away from my problems.

 This year I finally became a bit vulnerable and shared with my wife more about my insecurities. Its easy for me to share with random strangers then it is to be open and honest with my wife.

 I always focused so much on how we are so different but the reality we are very alike in so many ways. The marriage reflects who I am in the world. When I present to it. I feel lucky, grateful, to be alive to have such a consistent loving partner who feels like sometimes the only person who is there when I'm feeling lost and dark.

She's giving me so much space to process, being a highly sensitive being in the world. I take on other peoples stuff…

Happy 4 years my love. I never thought this was possible that Someone could just love me for who I am. Not trying to fix me or wanting me to be any different.

 Okay maybe a bit more organized and less loud…

 I love you so much my darling.

If you've made it this far in the post. Here is some bonus content.

These were the posts I posted about us on IG and Meta today.

Happy 4th Anniversary to my darling!

Watching you laugh and smile still melts my heart every single time. (Sometimes I just love to watch you doing your thing and it still makes me happy to see you doing your thing. Everything you do looks so darn cute!)

 From nerding out to video games such as Mario Party to board games to every adventure we take, whether trying out a new ice cream place or traveling to a new country/state, everything’s better by your side. Some might call it co-dependence, but I prefer hopelessly in love. ❤️

 Thank you for filling my life with joy, laughter, and a love so genuine it still amazes me how I managed to trick you :P.

 Here’s to more laughter, more games, and a lifetime of making more magical moments. I love you so much and I'm so grateful to celebrate one more anniversary with you my sweetie!

IG post:

Happy Anniversary to my Fashionista wife whose style still makes me do a double take even though she hates it when I do that :P

 It's been 4 years since we've been married and even though we have been together for 12 years now.

You still surprise me all of the time!

 Happy 4 Years Anniversary to beautiful, caring, loving wife. Four years married, and I still can’t believe how lucky I am to call you my wife. You've been so patient with me even though we drive each other crazy sometimes. You have a heart of gold, loving everyone around you so deeply—your family, friends, and even co-workers feel your warmth and effort in every relationship. Watching you pour love into everything you do is one of my life’s greatest joys. You do it with pride and intentionality.

 I love how you make me laugh with those little funny ways of being, and honestly, just being next to you, even if we’re doing nothing, brings me a peace that I can’t put into words.

Thank you for filling my world with love, laughter, and that quiet, incredible peace. Here’s to us, to all our little adventures, and to being hopelessly in love. ❤️