Shaped by Canada.

Dedicated to Pride month.

May 17 is  the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia. This day is dedicated to raising awareness of the violence and discrimination experienced by LGBTQ+ people worldwide. It marks the decision by the World Health Organization (WHO) in 1990 to declassify homosexuality as a mental disorder. 

And June is Pride Month. It is about celebrating the LGBTQ+ community, honoring their history, achievements, and contributions, and raising awareness about the issues they face

Many of you know how much homophobia still exists in post-Soviet countries, and although Ukraine has made considerable progress in this area, I still receive questions from my acquaintances and friends in Ukraine about it. 

For example when I arrived in Canada and told about it two years ago, apart from congratulations and kind words of encouragement, I received a lengthy comment from one of my followers on FB who directly stated that it was a bad decision because my children would be made gay here or indoctrinated into a third gender, or they would be taken away by social services to be given to a gay couple. And unfortunately there are still many people who strongly believe this is true.

I have been here for two years already and I believe I can make some initial conclusions on this topic.

A couple weeks ago, Deloitte Canada delivered an online event on the topic of Parenting Trans Kids, moderated by our CEO Anthony Viel . There were about 50 participants who listened to the stories of our colleagues. They shared their stories and live experience about their kids and how they handled challenges . I listened and keenly felt the grinding of my own biases - I had and still have so many prejudices on this topic before living in Canada. Each parent shared their difficult experience of going through and accepting their child's decision to change their gender/name/lifestyle, etc. It was not easy for any of them, but not because "how awful, now my daughter considers herself a boy and vice versa." No, that does not exist here at all.

It was because even in progressive Canada, these children face bullying and social pressure, though I was sure they had all the conditions for a full life here. But no, it's hard for them too. And, of course, these parents agreed to speak and share their experiences because they had already worked through and accepted their children's choices and shared what helped them maintain trusting and warm relationships with them.

The goal of the webinar came down for me to what we all know but is not so easy in practice: whatever choice your child makes regarding gender, and not only this, -  the main thing for them is to be happy and to always remember that they have a home where they are unconditionally accepted and loved by their family. That when society rejects you, you always have a place to return to and be welcomed without conditions and criticism.

After 2 years I see Canadian society and culture are much broader and more extensive than just the fight against discrimination and violence aimed at gays, transgender, and bisexual people. Freedom here is a holistic, comprehensive approach manifested in all spheres of life. Gender is just one of them.

In two years, particularly through the experience of my children's school, I have not encountered any propaganda of homosexuality, which is so often talked about in post-Soviet countries.

First of all, for me, the main thing is that every child in Canada is an unconditional value. This is very evident at every step. For example, when I shush my boys in a store or café so they don't make noise, people here look weirdly at ME, not at my children, reminding me that it is MY reaction that is not normal, and my children are behaving naturally - like children. That I need to take care of myself, and the children are fine by default.

In school, children are taught the following: that they are free, that they are doing well, that each person is unique and wonderful, and that they should never endure insults, offenses, or mockery. Bullying is regularly discussed (my children are in 3rd and 5th grades). They talk about the right to have a personal point of view on things and defend it, what personal boundaries are and how to protect them, and much more. There is no rote learning. Children are taught to solve problems in different ways, develop critical thinking, and the ability to reason and convey their point of view (elementary school). They also help each other, play an active social role, and volunteer.

No one would ever think of looking askance at a man with makeup, bright nails, or in a skirt. They will never react sharply or show any special attention - which can also be a form of discrimination - upon seeing a person with disabilities who comes to a store in a wheelchair, a blind person walking with a guide dog, children with autism spectrum disorder or cerebral palsy playing with other children on the playground, a deaf cashier, and so on. I see these people every day, and they are a full part of society. To show any embarrassment or discomfort would be met with great bewilderment because Canada has created conditions where "celebrate diversity" is not just a slogan. It is integrated into everyday life and the daily lives of every person.

Living in such a society gives me a sense of new, previously unknown levels of freedom, to which I am only getting used to, as many things are still very unfamiliar to me, but I am learning to accept them calmly and gradually. And it is not difficult for me to do this, just because when you are accepted at the societal level no matter who you are - as long as you do not violate anyone's boundaries and behave politely - you want to show your best self without looking back at anyone's opinion.

Canada is so diverse in its mix of nationalities, immigrants from all over the world, and expressions of freedom that it is sometimes hard to believe how such different people live together peacefully. But they do. And quite well.

Everyone who comes here is shaped by Canada, and it always gently reminds you with signs in stores and pharmacies: "Aggressive behaviour won’t be tolerated."

Today, for me, Canada is about this.