Shifting from Passive to Active

A couple of weeks ago I heard a question in my spirit 'What is the opposite of Passive?', I immediately thought, it cannot be aggressive, for me aggression is a style of approach.

I went on a round robin, asking people what they thought the opposite was and I had a 50/50 response, some said aggressive and others said active. The latter is correct - the opposite of passive is to be active.

A few months back I wrote an article on the importance of being Objective vs. Task based. The essence of the article was for us to think about what we are ultimately trying to achieve and aim towards the goal as opposed to steps which we need to get us there. The reason being, we can get tripped up along the way, lost on the journey and confused, which leads us to stalling and not being able to reach the objective at all, or within a timely manner.

So today, I revisit this idea of objective based thinking, and as I am mapping out in my mind the thoughts for this article, I found myself writing the title 'Shifting from Passive to Active'. As an employer I come across many employees of different ages, genders and backgrounds who rely on their employers to tell them what to do.

I call it spoon-feeding, and I hate it! Honestly, as an active person I would be very insulted if somebody spoon-fed me work all day, everyday and was micro-managing me. I would personally feel no sense of achievement or value if I found myself in that position. But this is just for me, Nadia Takyiwaa-Mensah, I am not speaking to how anybody else would feel or feels in this situation.

Spoon-fed employees are passive in character - you know how you often hear generalised comparisons of Ghanaians and Nigerian's? They say Ghanaians are kind and polite and Nigerian's are aggressive, well this is exactly what I am speaking about. In general terms Ghanaians are often passive and Nigerians are active (when we term it like this, we can look at evidence-based performance and see the latter is a very true statement - generally speaking).

Characteristics of a Passive Person

So to understand a passive person is to understand their characteristics, as I list them out, I am sure there are going to be ah-ha! moments for managers and ceo's.

Traits of a Passive person include;

Silent treatment, Procrastination, Being sulky or sullen, Complaining, Stubbornness, Avoidance of Conflict, Backhanded compliments, Feeling misunderstood and unappreciated, Keeps their feelings to themselves , they say nothing in a response, believe in luck or fate. An article quotes 'Passive behaviour is often dishonest and involves letting other people violate your personal right to be treated with respect and dignity.'. Use excessive professional courtesy (Yes please, No please - sound familiar?). Use ambiguous statements and beat around the bush (I always ask my staff to get to the point), Express concerns in the form of a question, rather than making a statement (I am always left complex as I am not sure what the point of the conversation is), Avoid conflict (run and leave the workplace, deeming it toxic).

I have seen these characteristics in 98% of my employees past and present. I am today years old, when I am coming to realisation why I am challenged with retaining staff. Coupled with my British accent, my constant work ethic and being a stickler for quality execution - I am just wayyyy over active for the average person which must be overwhelming and very quickly would conjure up resentment towards me, because they cannot speak up for themselves when I am constantly asking 'why this?', 'how come that?'. (Hand on face) - I get it now!

Just like most things, there is a spectrum, some people are more passive or active than others, yet based on the traits, I believe we can gradually do some work on ourselves to be and do better.

This article is particularly focusing on passive people and how a gradual shift in being active can help them get their work done effectively. I know some things are easier said than done, so I researched how people can gradually shift from passive to active and I researched a general approach;

1. Get to know thyself! - We often believe that we know ourselves very well, but very few of us have done the work. I would happily put my hand up and say I thought I knew Nadia through and through until March 2024 when God revealed something in me that I did not realise I was doing. As I explored I learned why I do do it and have since started working on it. Who we are as a person, why we do the things we do, how we behave, what we say and why we say it etc. it is something we should qualitatively be on a journey to answer. Not everything can be answered immediately, but in this case for work, one can start with paying attention to what they are thinking, feeling and prefer. Many of our attitudes and responses are deeply cultural and family based and/or a reflection of fear and doubt. Take your time to understand you, and within that explore what you would like to do better and what you are willing to do differently.
2. Start Small - Now that you are self-aware, take small opportunities to provide a response to questions that you would typically say 'I do not know, I do not mind and/or avoid any form of contribution'. Start with simple answers and get used to responding, engaging and feeling liberated in saying what you think or feel on something. Start your sentences with 'I would like..', 'I think...' there is power in claiming a thought or feeling, it carries weight and aligns with your identity.
3. Mentor/ Impressionable figure - I am personally not a fan or being a fan of other people, but I can definitely appreciate key qualities that individuals have and learn and grow from them. Having in your line of sight or engaging with people who are assertive and who do it well, can become a motivation for you. See how and when they deliver and see what works for you that you can adopt. Do not simply copy and paste, but observe, understand and make it your own. I remember when I worked in a media agency in London, I was 22 and there was a female irish lady who was beautiful, hard working and a boss chick. In the same breath she was rude, ugly on the inside, took pride in bringing people down whenever she was down, single and had no child. I knew I wanted to be a boss chick, but also wanted a family and definitely didn't want her stink attitude. So I took from her the idea of being a boss chick and left the rest :-)
4. Know that your opinions and ideas are valuable - letting them out of your head and into the world, you really never know what will come of it.
5. Be open to learning and growing - The import of this article is not to say that when you start becoming more assertive you are always right and you are the best thing since sliced bread. But rather to open you up to learning, growing, to being heard and contributing to something in a valuable way.

The Problems of Being Too Passive

People who act too passively often end up feeling taken advantage of. They may begin to feel hurt, angry, or resentful.

When you hold back what you think and feel, others don't get to know or understand you as well as they could. People do not benefit from your input or ideas.

If you start to feel like your opinions or feelings don't count, it can lower your confidence and rob you of the chance to get recognition and positive feedback for your good ideas. This can even lead to feeling depressed.

In Summary

I always tell my staff that it is not only about working in this singular job that they can benefit from these skills, it is something they can apply in other jobs and in life in general.

Sometimes we think it is big things which make people winners - the person was born into a good family, the person went to a good school, the person was 'lucky'....there could be a myriad of reasons, but what is important is that one is making choices for themselves which are pushing them forward and not holding them back or hiding them away.

Remember to be active is not to be aggressive, it is to be intentional, empowered and feel like you are valued and thriving in life.