The significance of small gestures of kindness.

Written by Janani D'Silva, active gratefulness practitioner, coach and technology consultant.

I'm wondering if you would understand what I say when I say it's so important to make time for the small gestures of kindness - especially at work, always but even more so now. As humans, we wait for cues to decide where we fit, where we are safe, who we are comfortable with and where we can be free. Many people don't find their peace at work and I feel that small gestures within the workplace, no matter what the organisation or the budget, is possible and is absolutely necessary to encourage community, identity, wellbeing, and friendship.

In the study done by Kelli Harding, and her book titled The Rabbit Effect, Kelli talks about the discovery "the profound impact that love, connection, and kindness have on our health". I have long being an advocate of kindness - however this research cemented my view of how interaction with compassion really has physical and metaphysical impacts on beings.

If you are going to spend most of your waking hours at work, interacting with mostly strangers, then wouldn't it be so much more enjoyable to cultivate a spirit of friendship and interact with humanness. This doesn't mean getting into deep and meaningful at every turn, but to provide space for people where they can really be themselves, showing your own vulnerability and imperfections, so others to can show theirs, and together you gel as a team that is truly strong with synergy.

Leading with kindness and humanness, no matter if you are a manager or not, is something each of us can commit to. In a day to day landscape, kindness and humanness can be small things. From pinging someone to check in on them purely to check they are keeping well and hearing them out if they are not, to sending someone a mail without being asked to provide them feedback on how they've helped you. It's finding opportunities for others to shine, to getting a coffee for someone you know is pounding away at their laptop and is looking stressed.

It's about waking up and looking beyond yourself to lift the spirit of someone else.

It's about being gracious when someone else makes a mistake, and helping them up. It's about fixing someone's crown without making a point of telling them it was crooked. It's about comforting a nervous colleague with support, it's about welcoming people who aren't sure they belong, it's including people who are excluded, it's being an ally to someone who needs your support, it's looking someone in the eye and smiling and saying hello.

Remembering kindness and humanness is hard to do when you're annoyed, but especially important to exercise when someone rubs you the wrong way or when you're having trouble gelling with someone. Coming to strength to see things from their point of view, showing compassion in the next steps, viewing others as their infant self (yes, truly I mean this - this is a great technique to draw your compassion when someone is really triggering you) can only help in taking steps for a better outcome.

Grand gestures are gorgeous, but there's also power in the small gestures - a lot of micro small gestures will change the culture around you, culture can indeed be changed one small conversation, one small gesture, one small act of kindness at a time.

But here's the real secret. The sense of joy it gives you, when you think outside of yourself. That is what I want you to experience every day - the more you give back to others, the more selfless and of service you are to the betterment of the lives of others - the magic in that is ..... grand.

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Thank you for reading my article. I coach and mentor the junior workforce in the organisation I work for, and am also a mother of three, wife of one and friend of many! I have been in management consulting and technology project delivery for 20 years and my joy comes from helping clients, colleagues and friends succeed personally and professionally.