Three small - but important - ways to prevent a bully culture

My experience is that most bullies in the workplace do not appear from thin air.

There’s often an insidiousness to the company culture that allows their behaviour to grow unchecked over time.

I was listening to a discussion about complaints of alleged bullying at an organisation recently and it made me think about the overall issue and its roots.

It’s simply not enough to hang a values statement on the company’s wall.

You can’t write policies or guidelines in a way that is theoretical and not relevant to real work experiences. 

Instead, I’m convinced that paying attention to the seemingly small stuff like how people write and respond to emails, how people do or don’t greet one another, or whether cameras are turned on during remote meetings, all combine to create an atmosphere that provides space for bad behaviour to flourish or which suffocates it with intentional kindness, transparency and compassion.

1. Question quickly

Consider, for example, when a colleague “drives out of their lane.” How do you determine their intent and what can do you do about it?

Here’s an example:

A coaching client of mine, who is an CHRO of a large company, was concerned because a colleague had emailed comments on her department’s KPI’s (key performance indicators, used to benchmark personnel productivity) to a member of her team, but had failed to include her.

“Was this an intentional move to go around me?” My client wondered. “Am I being iced? Is he trying to squeeze me out?”

We interrogated the issue further and determined that while the behaviour may not rise to the level of bullying or harassment, it doesn’t seem to be part of a transparent or caring style of leadership communications and collaboration. 

So, my recommendation:

Don’t let the behaviour (or your imagination) fester. The  behaviour needs to be confronted as quickly as possible.

But, confrontation, does not, by definition, need to become heated. Ask open-ended questions. Aim to establish an agreed upon cadence for email, meetings and general communications going forward. Don’t make it personal. Strive to keep your tone and content professional and your conversation peer to peer.

 2.) Acknowledge emails

A friend had prepared for weeks for an interview for a new job. It was for a senior position and part of the process required that she devise and present a managerial solution for a role-play scenario provided by the would-be employer. 

 The interview panel then quizzed her during a three-hour simulation which she described as “emotional and exhausting.” Despite her jangled nerves, she promptly followed-up with emails, as well as hand-written notes, to each member of her interview panel thanking them for the opportunity and telling them she looked forward to hearing from them regarding the next step in the process.

 She didn’t receive a reply. For eight weeks.

Eventually, long after she’d given up any hope of hearing from anyone, a surprise email arrived in her in-box. Offering her the job. But, my friend turned them down.

For her, the radio silence had been a damning reflection on the culture of that company.

 Companies dealing with scores of applicants can set up automatic replies in advance of the process to keep prospects apprised.

 If you’re an individual and you receive an email, you don’t have to immediately reply with every facet of requested response. But you should at least try to let the other person know you’ve received it and take a moment to give them some sort of expectation of a turn-around timeline.

 Mistakes happen and the occasional email will fall through the cracks. But there’s a difference between a one-off and a system-wide failure to care.

3.) Acknowledge people

 You wouldn’t attend an in-person meeting with a bag over your head, would you?

Therefore, if you’re meeting remotely, unless you’re in an extreme circumstance, turn your web-camera on so others can see you are in the virtual room. It’s the polite thing to do.  

 Likewise, if you’re a guest arriving in-person to an organisation, note whether people look up from their desks as you walk by to recognise another human has entered the room. I’ve been in companies where this is the normal practise and in those where it is not. Guess which ones I prefer?

 The business cases are clear, dear readers.  When senior leadership teams agree what a people-first, inclusive and caring workplace lives like – (not “looks like”), their commitment to role-modeling such behaviour – even down to the smallest detail - will cascade throughout. Conversely, if you are not actively acknowledging and recognizing your employees (and would-be employees) in the ways described above and more, you may not see full-blown bullying rearing its ugly head in the workplace, but you are not cultivating a workplace of respect and dignity either.

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If I can ever support your or your teams in the important area of leadership communications, please just drop me a line! I'd love to learn more.

Kindly, Gina