Virtual Trust Building

This is a picture of the Selling From the Heart Team- Larry Levine , Darrell Amy, CEPA, VCG , Jackie Joy , and myself ( we’re missing the true star of the team, our Social Media Manager, Carmen Cruz ).

I’ve known these three for about two years now.  I met both Larry and Darrell virtually towards the end of 2020 and met Jackie in the SFTH Insider’s Group.

This picture is from the SFTH Breakthrough Sales leaders retreat that we held in Ft Worth, TX last week.  At this event was the first time I had ever met them face-to-face and was the first time all four of us had been in the same room, let alone the same zip code.

I wanted to point this out because there was a time when we’d never think about trusting people we have never met in person.  And that time wasn’t that long ago.  But then came a pandemic when the only way we could connect with people was either by phone or video conference… and Zoom is very thankful for that 😁.

You see, not only did I establish friendships and networking relationships with these three great people, I actually decided to join the team at Selling From The Heart, having never met them in person.

What were the keys that allowed this kind of trust to be built in a relatively short period of time, all virtually?

I’ve thought of three: Consistency, Congruence and Contact. 

CONSISTENCY

These three people are consistently their authentic selves whether you talk with them via the phone, a video call, via social media, in an email, or in person.  Their strengths aren’t over exaggerated and they are open and transparent about them.  Their weaknesses aren’t hidden, covered for or glossed over.  They are who they are and remain open to helping and serving the greater sales community through their strengths.  They have a broad network they can draw from to serve others in areas they aren’t proficient in and they continue to seek out wise counsel from coaches and mentors.

As you build relationships with peers, coworkers and superiors as well as networking partners, clients and prospective clients, be sure that you watch to see that their walk matches their talk.  Don’t be fooled.  This takes time but will pay huge dividends in the long run.

CONGRUENCE

In this example I’m talking about a deep level of trust to make a decision to join an already established team.  It’s no different if you’re deciding to go to work for another company, looking to build a networking relationship or a new client relationship.  Are their values (or the company’s values) and practices congruent with yours?  If you’re looking at changing jobs because you want more time with your family, but make the decision to make the move for pure financial motives, don’t be surprised if you’re not able to spend more quality time with your family. 

Decide what your personal values are and build relationships around those shared values.  But don’t just listen to their words, pay attention to their practices.  Is your direct supervisor a type-A who is always checking email and working well into the night?  Do they expect that from you?  If you’re values state you turn the computer off at a certain time and will not reply to emails until business hours the next day, and your superior expects you to answer right away, that’s an incongruency.  

It takes communication and sometimes digging into the company’s values and practices and making sure they align.

Doing this virtually may take several phone calls, emails, video calls and doing research on Google and sites like Glass Door that rank employers.

CONTACT

I think video conferencing is the best way to establish and check both consistency and congruence.  Yes, you can hear voice inflection on the phone, but when you video conference with someone you can see their eyes, face and upper body and check body language.  

How do they start the conversation?  

I remember the first video call Larry Levine and I had and he shared how excited he was to talk to me and then we had a 10 minute conversation about the advantages of having gargabe pickup early in the week versus later in the week. A little weird? Maybe… but we shared some normal stuff and that opened us both up to share deeper things and on that call, we developed some trust that has led to him not only being a boss and colleague, but a true friend.

Understand that while we started building trust on that first call, it took subsequent contacts via phone, social media and email to further build that relationship.  Refer back to me past newsletters on communication (The Communications Cycle, What We Say and Why We Say It, and How We Say What We Say) to better understand how to communicate, paying special attention to the virtual methods.

Last week was a huge step forward in the Selling From The Heart story.  While that story started face-to-face (with Larry and Darrell) a few years ago, it’s most recent growth has been virtually, proving the fact that trust can be built virtually if we stay consistent to our authentic selves, stay congruent to our values and make contact focused on building trust with those we are communicating with.

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