What If This Could Change Your Life?

One May evening in 2011, everything changed.    

I didn’t know the term for it back then, but it was a crucible moment.  These are pivotal moments in your life when nothing will ever be the same again.  Most of us will have at least one in our lives – a death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, a health diagnosis.  

When it happened to me, I could barely function, but in the midst of my shock and confusion, there was a clear inner voice that told me to get into therapy and to meditate.  So I did and I have had a daily meditation practice since. 

Up until that point, meditation had been more of a theoretical practice.  I read about it, listened to podcasts and maybe managed to do a half-a$$ed few minutes of meditation every couple months.  I had a busy mind and a restless body, so sitting and doing nothing was not particularly appealing. 

And this matters why?

You may be thinking, “nice story, but what does that have to do with leadership?”  My answer is everything.  Think about your own challenges and the ways you want to develop as a leader.  You likely want to get better at focusing your attention, being a better communicator, and managing stress.  Meditation helps with all of that.  Every time I sit down with a client, we start with some kind of short mindfulness practice.  It could be as simple as following the breath, a practice that will help them regulate their nervous system when triggered.  Or we may take a moment to check-in with their thoughts and feelings - a practice that helps increase emotional intelligence.  Call me a meditation evangelist, but I believe that meditation is the single most important thing you can do to become a better leader and a better human.   

I always think it helps to hear a real world story about how something actually plays out in life, work and relationships. For me, I am less carried way by my thoughts.  My mind used to exhaust me.  I would become fixated on a thought, an idea, or a worry and I would feel an impulsive need to do something – send an email, plan something or buy something.  And then, like all thoughts, it would fade and I would be stuck with the consequence of my impulsive decision.  Meditation has helped me slow down and stay with whatever buzziness I am experiencing – anxiety, excitement, anticipation – until it loses its steam and I can see things more clearly.   My restless mind is a little less restless, or at least when it starts spinning, I can catch it sooner.  More than anything, this allows me to find more moments of ease and that feels miraculous.   

There is a lot more I can say, but I think Dan Harris, New York Times best-selling author, sums it up with the title of his book.   When asked why he meditates, he said because it makes him 10% Happier.   

Reflection 

Have you ever considered a mindfulness practice? 

If so, how do you hope it would help you?  Relaxation, concentration, regulating emotions, being more present? 

What about meditation is a struggle for you?  Finding the time? Not knowing if you are doing it right? Sitting still?  Being alone with your thoughts?   

Experiment 

How about 5 minutes each day this week?  Pick a time of day that you can stick to.  At the end of each session, ask yourself if you feel the same, better or worse than when you first sat down.   

Check out this one-pager for benefits, tips and a recommended short course.