What to do when things go wrong💥🧯

We've been talking a lot here about positive, practical ways to elevate your leader presence. And by "leader presence," we mean those qualities that help engage, align and move others toward a shared goal.

But what happens when things go wrong? What if you don't show up as planned? What if instead of inspiring others, you leave your stakeholders feeling confused, disappointed, angry or annoyed?

We’ve all been there. Whether it’s sharing a Zoom "hot mic" moment, having an unintended emotional outburst in a meeting, stumbling during a presentation or Q&A, or posting to the team Slack channel by accident when you meant to ping a friend, I’m sure we can all relate.

Making mistakes is human and normal, even for the most senior leaders. We've all been under extra stress during the pandemic, which can lead to even more lapses in focus and judgement. Losing composure or erring in front of others can bring out feelings of embarrassment and shame. That's why the universal gesture #facepalm is a natural (and ultimately futile) attempt to hide from others.  

While our first instinct after an #epicfail may be to back out slowly...

...What distinguishes a true leader after a misstep is how they respond and recover with grace and integrity.

While there's no single recipe to regain composure and restore trust in every case, here are a few tactics to try when this inevitably happens to you (as it does to all of us)!

(Note these tips are for recovering from one-off moments when your behavior does not live up to your standards. If there's an ongoing pattern of bad behavior or a crisis that affects your customers and employees deeply, you will need an entirely different playbook!)

✔️Take Responsibility.🧯

A leader doesn’t look for excuses or others to blame. It’s better to step up and own what went wrong - even if there were others involved or contributing factors you couldn't control. (Consider the Asoh Defense as articulated by Allison Braley.) 

🙇Apologize!🙏

Express your regrets sincerely and in a timely manner. Be thoughtful about the words you choose, and the channel you use, to match the nature of your mistake. Depending on what went wrong, you may have to repeat yourself or tailor your apology for different audiences. A lot of humility and even a little self-deprecating humor can be effective. 

🛠️Rectify If Possible🧯

Saying you're sorry is a good start. Is there anything you can do to minimize any lasting damage? Keep in mind that addressing the issue will likely take more time and thoughtful energy than it took to make the error. Watch out for "quick fix" gestures that are offered in the heat of the moment. These can come off as rash and uncaring. As you're rebuilding trust, the last thing you want to convey is that you're rushing.

🤦Notice and Manage Your Emotions.🤦

For most of us, making a mistake feels shameful. If it happens in front of others, it's even worse. One thing about leadership is you're always being watched for cues and signals. Leaders can't disappear when things get tough. Staying front and center at this time may feel uncomfortable and stressful. You may find that mindfulness meditation, exercise, sleep and a healthy diet are all helpful ways to recover your own personal sense of equilibrium. 

⏸️Reflect, Debrief & Learn🤔

Leaders know that fails are also learning opportunities. What can you ask yourself to ensure the same error doesn't happen again? Perhaps start with:

• Were you distracted and multi-tasking? 
• Were you overwhelmed by something else - perhaps outside work? 
• Were you feeling unwell? 
• Did you overcommit?
• Did you rely on a false signal and misjudge a situation?
• What can you do differently to ensure the same thing doesn't happen again?

How have you recovered from mistakes and lapses when others were watching? I'm eager to hear any tips I've missed that have worked for you. Thanks for sharing!

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If we're not already connected, you can follow me on LinkedIn for additional short posts on leader presence and executive communications between newsletters. Here's a recent post that resonated about the 4Cs to earn trust. A couple of readers suggested I add "Collaboration" and "Communication" as the 5th and 6th "C." What do you think?

I'll be speaking next week about leader presence at the Professional Speechwriters Association World Conference. I look forward to seeing some of you there!

Until next time! - RG