What To Do When You Get Bad Feedback, Badly
Hearing about what you are not doing well at work, that too from your boss, is sure to turn your mood sad and your day bad. Feeling sad about it or it turning your day bad doesn’t mean you only want positive feedback, it means you are human and you care about your performance. That itself is a good sign.
Even if the feedback is given in the most kind and clear way, it does affect. So what you need to do is think on it. Talk to yourself. Tell yourself that although this is uncomfortable, your reaction will pass. Remind yourself that the person giving you this feedback cares for you and wants to see you do well in your career.
This is the easy part as the feedback is given by a person who cares about helping you, but What to do when the feedback is given by a person who doesn’t care much?
Or when the feedback is poorly delivered?
Or the person gave it rudely, or was insensitive?
This is where you most need to navigate your emotions and your response. Here’s how you can do it
Figure out what and how you’re feeling. Do not shy away from your true emotions.
Even though it wasn’t delivered well, it was after all feedback. Look for something helpful in the feedback.
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Talk to the person about the impact of their delivery. Tell them how it made you feel and where can they try to be better next time onwards.
It is easier said than done, but what choice do you have if not to uplift yourself from the impact?
There are 3 common types of poorly delivered feedback. Recognize your style and try and work on it.
Do you often yell or belittle when giving feedback? This type of feedback arouses a mix of anger, defensiveness and anxiety in the receiver.
Are you worried more about your own reputation than helping your colleague improve? It is because of this that you may say things you don’t really mean. You may praise the receiver to their face but criticize them behind their back.
Sometimes you are so worried about hurting the receiver’s feelings or offending them that you won’t tell them what you really think. You care, but you’re not challenging them.
It’s difficult to manage your feelings when getting feedback that feels too harsh or too nice. Understand that the way you give feedback matters more than the feedback itself, so try and make it nice and clean.