For What Purpose?

The recent stream of news regarding Catherine, Princess of Wales (a/k/a Kate Middleton) stands out as an example of how blind self-interest is destructive to ourselves and our reputations. One does not rise up by putting down someone else.

What we saw was a mob mentality that overtook news organizations, celebrities and late-night talk show hosts regarding Kate Middleton’s sudden lack of appearances. Influential people used their communication power to joke about the fact that she had not been seen in public for some time, although it had been announced that she would not be seen in public for some time. Commentators reveled in the notions of body doubles, photoshop conspiracies and other titillating rumors. 

So much so that Kate felt compelled to videotape herself telling the world she had cancer. In it, she expressed gratitude to those supporting her and, showing great dignity, did not mention her detractors or the noise that had been swirling around the palace.

Cue the flood of regret and remorse. Yes, yes, we know you're all sorry for being thoughtless idiots who got sucked into a pack behavior. And we took names.

When the mob was having a good time making fun of Kate’s situation, did anyone think it through? Did they consider that, perhaps, there was a legitimate reason why someone who recently had invasive surgery, whose father-in-law was just diagnosed with cancer, might announce they were taking private time until after Easter? Was there not a possibility she also had issues, either personal or related to family, that justified her decision to stay out of the public eye?

Apparently, the urge to be the funniest/smartest/most popular in solving this mystery was more important than asking, “What if…?” So all of those who rained mockery down on the head of a mother with three young children trying to take time to come to terms with her diagnosis ended up looking like the fools instead. Where they sought to promote themselves, they have all denigrated their reputations as cruel and thoughtless people.

Rarely is a decision to promote ourselves at the expense of another a good one. Sure, we may be perceived as clever in the moment. But what have we added to our reputation? Do we want to be known as the person whose wit "cuts like a knife"? Will others be open and transparent knowing we’re always mulling the next barb to get a laugh or make ourselves seem “better”?

Every comment, action and decision we make should first be framed in the context of: for what purpose? If that purpose is largely grounded in “me” and not “them,” chances are this is self-promotion and best left alone. People do not embrace those whose primary focus is on themselves; they embrace those who are selfless, inspiring and collaborative. We create our reputation with our choices of words and deeds.