What We Permit, We Promote

"What you permit, you promote.  What you allow, you encourage.  What you condone, you own.  What you tolerate, you deserve."  - Anonymous

Dear Investors & Friends:

Welcome to this week’s Sundayreads.

At a recent luncheon with close friends, a tale unfolded that underscored the sentiment, “What We Permit, We Promote.” Priya, newlywed, spoke of the early days of her marriage, painted not with the hues of honeymoon bliss but with the shadows of her husband's nightly escapades. Despite her pleas, he made a ritual of late-night returns, intoxicated and indifferent. However, one evening, Priya took a stand. She locked her bedroom door, ignoring the interventions of his family. This singular act was transformative. From that night, her husband curtailed his nightly outings, underscoring the adage that what we permit, we indeed promote.

Sadly, not every story ends with such a realization. Another friend narrated the harrowing experience of a woman trapped in the snare of her husband’s volatile temper. In the initial days, she fled from the abuse, only to be cajoled back by both families. Now, with children in the mix, her attempts to escape are always foiled by the very people meant to protect her. The silence and acceptance of her family have only served to promote the toxic cycle she finds herself in.

The professional realm is not untouched by this principle. A client once recounted the hiring of a star employee, only to terminate his contract within three months. The reason? His penchant for bullying and speaking condescendingly to juniors. The swift action taken by the management sent a clear message: such behaviour, no matter the talent backing it, would not be tolerated.

Interestingly, the dynamic between parents and children is also not immune. My client, upon discovering his son's budding addiction to smoking, took the tough love route. Cutting off allowances and suggesting self-reliance, the young man quickly realized the challenges of sustaining a livelihood. Within a month, he kicked his tobacco habit, further exemplifying that the boundaries we set—or don’t—can have life-altering consequences.

Then there's the quintessential tardy acquaintance. Everyone seems to know someone who perennially arrives late, often dismissing the social courtesy of an apology. But will they change if their behavior is continually excused? Just as a faulty car or a persistent toothache demands attention, so too do these habitual behaviors.

Even in our everyday interactions, how often have we heard someone dismiss casual sexism, racism, or any form of bigotry as a "joke"? The laughter that follows such "jokes" doesn’t just amuse; it affirms. Every chuckle, every dismissive shrug, pushes us further from a world where every individual is respected and valued for who they are.

Amidst these examples, the deepest pain is felt by the silent sufferers. Their stories, often untold, reflect the anguish of living in environments where their grievances are invalidated. When the world around them remains passive, it isn’t just the perpetrators they grapple with—it’s the painful realization that their pain is deemed inconsequential.

If the world seems awash with such indifference, it's crucial to remember that change starts with us. Recognizing our own biases, holding ourselves accountable, and most importantly, not just being a bystander when we witness wrongs, can gradually rewrite the narrative.

The principle "What you permit, you promote" is not just about passive acceptance but about the active responsibility each one of us holds. Whether it’s personal relationships, professional environments, or societal interactions, our silent endorsements or clear boundaries have profound ripple effects. It’s time we not only recognize the weight of our permissions but also act, ensuring we promote what is just, compassionate, and deserving of our future.

Until the next week, and the next SundayRead, Ciao.

Kavita Bothra

Helping you think thoughts you may not have thought before.