Your bond with your boss is special. Here's how to make it stronger

Welcome to Quick Confidence! This weekly letter delivers a spritz of stories, tips and simple actions that will build your confidence and your power. Each quick tip bolsters confidence in your body, mind, and relationships so you can lead yourself and others to greatness. 

One of my all-time favorite coffee mugs reads, “I never asked…to be the World’s Best Boss.” Ha! 

In all seriousness though, your relationship with your boss or manager is a special one. And…it deserves special treatment. 

Whether your bond with your boss is brand new or years old, one special element of this relationship is that it’s interdependent. Think about it... Your boss needs you for your contributions. And most likely you depend on them too — for direction and to be your advocate.

If you want to build your confidence in this relationship you CAN, no matter your starting point. In fact I bet your bond can be even more productive, engaging, and cooperative if you want it to be. 

So how can you be sure you’re managing the relationship well? Check out these 3 ways to make meaningful connections with your boss.

Quick Confidence Tips to Cultivating a Meaningful Relationship with Your Boss:

1. Embodied: Listen with more than your ears! One of the most important things in communication is hearing what isn't said. Notice the cues your boss gives you in the little moments: sighs of exasperation, smiles of happiness...their slumped or alert posture. When you notice your boss' body language, you can take those cues to speed up your pace, for example - to be more enthusiastic, or to address a potential concern. When listening, loosen up your torso so you can lean in with interest at a particularly powerful point or on the flip side, you can sit back in your chair and take in the broad view of what's being said. You can alternate nodding as you listen to your boss' points and gesturing to emphasize your own points. This type of engaged listening shows that you are paying attention and bringing your full energy to these interactions.
2. Interpersonal: Be reliable (not just when it's convenient). Reliability is so important in most relationships – and it’s critical with your boss. So strive to be dependable in your everyday actions! For example, if you say you’ll have your timesheet in by Friday, do it. And if you’re tempted to say, “I’ll write up a recap of what we discussed today,” don’t make the offer if you’re not going to do it. If your manager has to second-guess the commitments you make, it hurts your reputation and your bond. Don't forget: if you want to be trusted, you have to be trustworthy.        
3. Mindset: Remember that bosses are people too. Demonstrating basic caring and kindness can go a long way with your manager. After all, they most likely wear several hats in their life beside “Boss.” So remember to ask, “how are you?” or “did you enjoy the holiday?” By not being all business, you’re more likely to spark a friendly connection. Of course you’re not aiming to be best friends (that can get really complicated). This is about humanizing the relationship, and sharing some positive, personal moments together.

Think of your boss as your #1 customer — your VIP — at your organization. By taking these steps you can show them that you’re consistently reliable and resourceful, which will only build your confidence AND encourage mutual trust and respect. Remember, you need each other!

How do you cultivate a professional but meaningful bond with your boss? Let me know in the comments!

May the Fourth be with you 😉

The more you build meaningful relationships with your colleagues, managers, direct reports and clients, the better off you’ll be professionally AND personally. But how do you do it, especially when many of us are working remotely? My LinkedIn Learning course shows you how to initiate, nurture, and maintain healthy connections (and AVOID relationships rooted in gossip and complaining): Click here to get the course.