When Values Fight!
Josee Godbout
Executive coach, business owner and entrepreneur. Supporting teams and leaders in increasing their results and their impact while supporting the growth of both their business and people.
Spring cleaning our value system
For the past few weeks, I have had the privilege of being able to continue to
support entrepreneurs, leaders, managers, and teams.
One of my main observations was how certain values have come back to the
forefront and that for some, this brings confusion in their personal value
system, which hasn’t been necessarily reviewed for some time.
This intense and disconcerting period
seems to have forced many of us to filter our priorities. Many took this
weird time in our lives and transformed it into an opportunity to tackle a huge
spring cleaning, not only in their house, and their yard... but in their value system!
Magnificent! AND, the result?
- A disturbing confusion, and conflicts of internal
values that are not fully recognized.
Ihear so many questions around me.
Somany questions are asked by my clients!
- How do I return to work with a clear conscience…?
When I just spent quality time with my children, my partner
When I have just recommitted to running or yoga
When we went back to cooking, to gardening, to taking the time to stop for dinner?
·
- What to do when the time spent in the car has become the time we go for a walk or a bike ride because time stuck in traffic is no longer part of the schedule?
Several people asked me if they were "normal" asking themselves so many questions.
- It seems to me that I should be happy to go back to work, right? "
As if the questioning itself were not healthy, almost shameful.
During this "pause" or this slowdown that affected many people, family
values, health, well-being, metaphysical values related to what speaks to
meaning (what makes sense), the sacred, the quest, as well as the values of
healthy habits and good nutrition have regained popularity and have become
priorities again.
But on the eve of what could resemble some sort of new normal… many are worried.
They are frustrated to let go of values that have been rediscovered. They are
afraid, deep down, of giving up. And for some, even the question of quitting
their job has crossed their minds.
What if my work harms my real values?
What if my professional life was a hindrance?
However, my value of accomplishment, growth, evolution is also well served by this work
strategy.
Do I let myself down when it comes to what is important to me?
Conflict of values.
This is where the discomfort stems from.
A discomfort created by the conflict between two values that argue for first place.
The observation that must take place:
- Take the time to look at these different values
- Rest assured: these values CAN coexist. They just squabble for all the attention.
- Intervene to remind them that they can both have your attention, alternately. And that wanting to continue putting family values first makes sense, just like wanting to achieve professional fulfillment also makes sense.
Now, with these observations, how can I honor each of these values and avoid ignoring others completely? How can I be proud to respect what really makes sense to me?
1. If, first and foremost, I can give myself a break and tell myself that all of this is normal and that many are experiencing the same thing, that’s a good start.
2. Then I can take the time to write down or discuss with someone I trust, a neutral person, on what is important, most important to me in general, and write next to each value what can be done to honor it.
3. After that, the exercise can be continued by writing down when each of these values will have its space.
It may be that making peace and giving some space to my priority of professional development, between 8:30 am and 4:30 pm, when the children go to school, makes sense again.
And if it does not makes sense anymore, well it's time to look at how to reconnect with the freedom to honor your values. So that you have the integrity you need to make different, start again, and live more freely!
If you need help with cleaning out values and priorities, please do not wait and find the support you need. Prevention is always an important key for healthy relationships. Inner or outer!
Happy reflecting, and (hopefully) returning to freedom