#WHM Reflections from a Visit to the White House: Adding More Seats at the Table

There’s something special about this time of year. The days are getting longer. The cherry blossoms are blooming. And, Women’s History Month (WHM) provides us an opportunity of both celebration and reflection.  

As a woman in technology, the connection and support I have found within the women’s community has always been a source of strength and perseverance throughout my career. Together we are stronger, and WHM gives us the opportunity to recognize those who have come before us and focus on how we can continue to improve the experience for all women.

This year, I had the opportunity to travel east and meet some incredible individuals who each inspired me in their own way, starting with a fabulous group of senior women who work at the Microsoft offices in Virginia. I enjoyed learning about their journeys to Microsoft—many who joined in recent years and several after years of military service—and engaging in a discussion about how to integrate into their environment and navigate a path forward. We talked about many things, but what stood out for me were the power of role models, the need for allyship, and the importance of knowing (and shaping) the rules of operation.

This conversation was alive for me later in the week when I heard the following phrase …

If you don't have a seat at the table, you're probably on the menu.

I had never heard this phrase used to describe the challenges we often face as women, but it instantly struck a chord. As I did some digging, generally credited to Senator Elizabeth Warren, the quote metaphorically captures how one’s rights and interests will be consumed by the other participants at the table.

As I was walking through the National Mall in Washington, D.C., taking in the cherry blossoms in peak bloom and the Presidential monuments, reflecting on what I heard got me thinking about what gets you that seat at that table, and how we can help more women find that seat—and that all came full circle to the beginning of the week.

The Power of Role Models

What brought me out east was an invitation to attend the Women’s History Month Reception at the White House. Born in Canada, if you told me when I was a kid that one day, I would be invited to the White House to celebrate the accomplishments of women, I don’t think I would have believed you! I didn’t have any point of reference for the possibility that something like this would be true. And unfortunately, this continues to be true for too many.

As Dr. Jill Biden said in her remarks that evening,

“Again, and again and again, they wake up and worry that this world is maybe made for someone else. They wonder if they will ever be good enough, strong enough, or worthy of the lives they dream about.”

What has the power to change this? It starts with role models. For me it was seeing women in tech pave the way before me that gave me confidence to own my own ambitions and dreams. To step out of my comfort zone. And while we often think of those role models who are larger than life—like Nancy Pelosi, the first woman elected Speaker and the first woman to lead a major political party in either chamber of Congress—what you realize when you come face-to-face with a role model is they are more like you than you thought, and that to bring more women to the table someone, has to go first. We both need to, as Kamala Harris remarked, “celebrate and honor the women who made history throughout history, who saw what could be unburdened by what had been,” and also realize that we each have ways in which we are role models every day—representing the world we aspire to live in and for the benefit of those who follow.       

The Need for Allyship

While role models forge the path forward, they rarely do it alone. True change requires allyship, where being a good ally means showing up for others through awareness, empathy and actions. As a mother of a young son, I often think about the role he currently plays with his friends and the role he needs to play as he grows up in this world. Dr. Jill Biden said it eloquently when she said that,

“Every little boy must know that caring, collaboration, and kindness are signs of strength, not weakness—that he can feed and teach and mentor; that this is his fight too.” 

To support the next generation of allies, we must start now, in engaging the men around us to build awareness of the issues, develop empathy and ultimately take action. As Kamala Harris said, “You can judge a strong man when he has strong women around him.”

As the formal remarks at the White House reception drew to a close, the first person who came to greet the audience was Doug Emhoff, the second gentleman. While I have very much enjoyed seeing Kamala Harris as a role model and the first woman elected Vice President of the United States, the joy I have experienced observing the acts of allyship from her husband Doug are many. Last fall, in an act of what I consider true allyship, Doug made it very clear that he wants to be in a world where being the second gentleman is not unique. We need to find the Dougs around us and support them in their journey to support us.

Knowing (and Shaping) the Rules of Operation

Roles models can help pave the way, and allies can accelerate the way forward. But without knowing the rules of operation, and ensuring they are designed to reinforce equality, the system only delivers imbalance. While this is true in business organizations, it really starts with public policy.   

“I don’t need to tell anybody here, when we improve the economic status of women, we improve the economic status of families, communities, and our entire nation benefits,” said Kamala Harris at the reception.

It is for this reason, I joined the Women's Executive Network (WEN), to strengthen my understanding of the political landscape, the issues, the challenges and how policy is influenced and takes shape in this country. What I have learned is that success here also starts with representation—that seat at the table.

“I’ve made a commitment that when we got elected, that this administration was going to look like America. Look like America. Well, I really mean it, because it matters a lot to all the people who look like us, look like each of you,” said President Joe Biden at the event.

Representation is key to advocate for policies whether they be focused on childcare, maternal health, unions, domestic violence, or others—they all play a role in the success women of women, which is key to our collective success.

All of the above—role models, allyship, representation—came together for me in the special moment at the end of the reception when the President captured the memory for me in a Presidential selfie!  

I would encourage you to read through the Remarks by President Biden, Vice President Harris, First Lady Jill Biden, and Second Gentleman Douglas Emhoff at a Reception to Celebrate Women's History Month | The White House.

We each need to take our own action. To be a role model to those around us—achieving those firsts that help pave the way to greater success. To seek out and foster allyship in those around us and the next generation. And to educate ourselves and take action to influence the policies—the rules of operations—supporting a system that yields equality.

“Equality, justice, freedom for all—these are the flames we must feed with our voices and our vigilance. Because the fight for women’s equality should have an end,” said Dr. Jill Biden.