Who Decided Your Purpose?

Have you ever wondered what your purpose is?

Well, I just had an epic workshop session discussing the various elements of purpose and how to string them altogether into a perfect and potent sentence to blast out.

Actually, when you know the elements of building a personal - individual - purpose, you can apply it to your big pitch, project, your team, your department, or entire business and in a meaningful way (one that connects people's hearts and minds), convey exactly why people should work with you and buy from you.Purpose is the DRIVING FORCE behind our decisions, actions, and goals.

Purpose gives us meaning and direction to our work, relationships, and lives, guiding us toward what we consider to be meaningful, fulfilling, and worthwhile.

Just want to make sure you got that: purpose is the driving force.

So if you’re out in the world and making decisions and taking actions and doing goals, and you don’t really know your purpose, then whose purpose IS the driving force in your life?

It’s got to be somebody’s if it’s not decidedly yours!

If you’re not clear on your purposes, then you will be working and living according to the pressures of:

• expectation from upbringing, company culture, and society
• past experiences (bad ones for obvious reasons, good ones because they can create an "upper limit" and fear of not re-creating the win)
• fear of failure (paralyses you, stops “risk”)
• self-doubt from low self-esteem (degrading self-talk and limiting beliefs)
• comparison with others (and reasons why they can and you can't)
• external distractions (lose sight and forget)

Without having articulated your own clear purpose statement, you'll have problems with alignment - personally and professionally.

You will find yourself being with people who frustrate you because their motivation levels, values, and/or ethics don't align.

You'll feel more frustrated because you also feel there’s something else you should or could be doing that goes more smoothly and is more fulfilling. 

Really think about it: how can you align with others when you don’t know who you want to be in that relationship or employment-ship? You’re at the mercy of other people’s personalities and we all know that isn’t the place to be if you want to be happy.

So, start by getting clear on your personal purpose and BEGIN telling people in meetings, interviews, conversations - exactly what your purpose is.

I was blown away in my coaching session today by some real-time examples of personal purpose:

"The purpose of my life is to bring joy and energy and feel alive, and to guard respect for others and set that standard, so that I may inspire connection and cohesion in the world, for the greater good."

This person also deeply believes in sustainability, and changed her job so she could change industries to one that supported sustainability directly.

She also uses this purpose to pitch initiatives and projects as a director to her fellow senior leadership team, and then uses her commute home to gently shift her mindset to being a spouse and mother - which also comes from knowing her purpose. 

If you want to be part of this group, head to tanyalesley.com/waitlist

It only opens once per year, and will re-open this October.

We discuss everything related to being Positively Persuasive in business and relationships. It's not just empowering, but super fun.

Another example from the group, "The purpose of my life is to be fully present and happy and content, to role model to my children that they can do whatever they set their minds to while being kind and considerate people, so that I can look back and feel I have lived life to the absolute maximum, absorbed as much as I can around me, and been the best that I can be."

This person thought they were off-purpose / didn't really have one. So just doing the exercise actually revealed what was important to her and therefore how she was making decisions both personally and professionally. She is not only the primary bread-winner and carer for kids, but a global director in a target-driven role. 

Ok so here's personal example: "The purpose of my life is to be inspired and relaxed, to create my life, to share my gifts and God's message, so that I might inspire, enable, and transform others to live more fully, love more openly, and make a positive difference in the world."

[Note: I dedicate one to three hours per day to personal development. I walk almost every morning while listening to a personal growth audiobook. I journal most days, and I use a productivity planner every single day to track my progress. My point is that if you use your purpose statement, it will shift around your priorities and your calendar, and you will smile more throughout your busy day.]

I should also note here that my relationships changed when I got clear on my purpose. Don't get me wrong - I love having a good chat but I really don’t like meanness, rudeness, or anything repeatedly negative, so my conversations reflect my chosen purpose.

Yes, I’ve lost friendships and re-shaped relationships with family members, too.

The result is that I’ve re-gained precious time back, feel good energy most of the day, enjoy the relationships that I do have, make wonderful new connections with the space that's been created (no more constant WhatsApps about drama), I'm quick to shift negative conversational vibes to positive, and so I am known to hold an empowering space for people. EXACTLY what I want. 

Rather juicily, because I know my personal purpose, I have used it to change my career from lawyer to marketing professional to high-performance coach.

I wake up every day, excited to work and live, and I go to sleep with a heart overflowing with love. It’s true. I don't normally share that.

Purpose for my business: "The purpose of Tanya Lesley High Performance Coaching is to inspire and enable the global community to transform and live more fully, love more openly, and lead positive change in the world, so that I might free people from their limitations and create the career and life of their dreams.”

With a purpose like that, how can I not be in love?

You bet that my business decisions, projects, partnerships, content, offers, etc. are all geared towards the realisation of this purpose.

Now, it’s your turn.

Think of your values, important characteristics, or non-negotiables and consider:

1. Who do you want to be? How do you want to be?
2. What do you want to do? What do you want to be reminded to do? Who is important to you? What is important to you?
3. So that… what? Why is it important that you be and do these things?

It’s critical that you start with YOU. YOUR purpose statement, and then see where and with whom you can align – personally and in business.

Then, you can create more specific purpose statements for other areas of your life, including overall business, team-specific, project-specific, purpose for intimate relationship, purpose for raising kids, etc. 

Some food for thought!

x Tanya

P.S. For tips on being authentic and saying the hard things in business conversations, I highly recommend Radical Candor by Kim Scott.

If you or your colleagues struggle opening up at all, I highly recommend Dare To Lead by Brené Brown.

If you feel like you're stuck in a washing machine at work and need to feel more in control of yourself + your focus, get Breath by James Nestor.

All these books changed my life, particularly Breath. And not just because I hate bad breath 😷 but because you can clear your mind in mere seconds when you start breathing right. While it doesn't cost you anything to breathe, it's costing you time, money, and health right now by not knowing how to do it properly... More food for thought.

#purpose #direction #clarity #mindset