Your boss won’t give you feedback? Do this instead.

Guest Newsletter written by Jen Arnold from Growth Signals

I still have some wounds from my corporate days when feedback was delivered in the worst way – after a long period of no feedback and when I could do nothing to rectify the situation. Oh yeah, and it ended in a demotion.

You would think being on the receiving end of poorly delivered feedback would make me better at giving it. But nope, as a new leader, I also made my fair share of mistakes. Piling it all on in a performance review, putting people on the defensive with my words, and being overly critical.

Giving feedback is hard to do. Giving feedback well is even harder.

In fact, giving feedback produces anxiety in both the giver and receiver. When’s the last time being anxious made for a meaningful conversation?

Because of the discomfort – and a lack of time and skills – many leaders avoid feedback conversations, stifling the growth and development of their teams.

Does this situation sound familiar?

If you’re not getting the feedback you need to grow in your role, here’s a simple solution – ask for it!

One way to take control of your career is to ask for what you need. When asking for feedback, don’t generically ask your boss for it.

Instead, here are four considerations to get the meaningful feedback you deserve:

• Be specific: pinpoint what you’re trying to improve upon. Do you want to be better at presenting, sharing ideas in meetings, or engaging your team? Whatever it is, name it. And please, don’t ask for something you aren’t willing to take action on.
• Ask broadly. No one person’s feedback is absolute. Each person you work with and around sees you in a different light and in different situations. By asking several people for their take, you’re getting diverse input. Think about asking your manager, peers, and/or directs for feedback.
• Give them advanced warning. We all think people are paying attention to us but they’re probably more focused on themselves. Don’t assume they‘ll remember you asked them for feedback two weeks ago. For example, if you want feedback on a presentation, tell the people you want feedback from right before you give it.
• Tell them what type of feedback you’re looking for. Do you want the positives as well as the constructive? Do you only want constructive feedback? Everyone has their own interpretation of feedback, so by telling them at the start, they’ll narrow in on what you request. You can use phrases like, “Here’s what would be helpful for me…” or “Here’s what I’m looking for..”

Not only will this process help you get better at what’s important to you, but it will position you as someone who wants to improve professionally. And that’s never a bad thing when it comes to your career.

Jen Arnold, MS, is a Tedx speaker, podcast host, and lifelong learner dedicated to helping leaders saying the (sometimes difficult) things that need to be said. As the Founder of Growth Signals, she helps leaders discover and grow into their own unique leadership style. Connect with Jen on LinkedIn.