Here's how you can debunk common misconceptions about assertiveness in coaching.

To debunk misconceptions about assertiveness in coaching, clarify that it's not about aggression but clear, respectful communication. Studies show assertiveness improves leadership effectiveness by 89%. For example, Google's Project Oxygen found assertive managers better support team performance and well-being. Highlighting that assertiveness fosters honest dialogue, reduces misunderstandings, and strengthens relationships can shift the perception from confrontational to collaborative. Emphasize assertiveness as a key skill for setting boundaries, expressing needs, and promoting a healthy, productive coaching environment. This balanced approach leads to higher team morale and enhanced problem-solving capabilities.

Taking myself as an example, when I am assertive, it's not a case of "keep-quiet-and-listen-to-me". My assertiveness aims to achieve trust and confidence - I try to give them comfort that they are safe, and in good hands with me, by my assertiveness/confidence. I don't think it's any different with other professions and other people. Assertiveness implicitly shows confidence and conviction in your beliefs/point of view, but it should also bear the respect to hear other opinions wholeheartedly. Having conviction/confidence/assertiveness does not mean you're 100% right, so being open minded is critical. I believe this sort of assertiveness will bear no misconceptions, and in fact, would be useful in certain types of interviews/jobs!

Being assertive does not necessarily lead to conflict; rather, it helps to prevent misunderstandings and unresolved issues. When coaches communicate assertively, they address potential problems before they escalate, leading to a more harmonious and effective coaching relationship.

Let's be clear; being assertive does not mean being aggressive, pushy or rude. Neither do you have to be forceful in expressing your own opinions or have a complete lack of empathy for others' rights or feelings!! Assertiveness simply means standing up for yourself in a way that's respectful, constructive and considerate of others. In contrast to aggressive communication which can often be perceived as dominating or controlling and lead to conflict, assertive communication fosters healthy debate and mutual respect.

At the outset, I emphasized it thru the following bullet points. 1. Assertiveness benefits both parties: Highlight the benefits of assertiveness for both the individual and their relationships.Illustrate how assertive communication can lead to better understanding, cooperation, and mutual respect in personal and professional interactions. 2. Assertiveness is a learnable skill: Encourage individuals to understand that assertiveness is a skill that can be developed through practice and self-awareness. Provide coaching techniques and exercises to help individuals improve their confident skills, and strategies. 3.Assertiveness is not about being dominant: Clarify that assertiveness is not about dominating others or asserting control over them.

To establish clear boundaries, start by defining your coaching policies and expectations from the outset. Communicate these boundaries clearly in your initial consultations and in written agreements. This might include specifying session durations, response times for communications, and what constitutes appropriate behavior. Be consistent in enforcing these boundaries to build trust and respect. When a boundary is crossed, address it promptly and calmly, explaining why it's important. Encourage clients to also set their own boundaries, fostering mutual respect. By maintaining assertiveness, you create a professional environment where both you and your clients can thrive.

Clear boundaries are essential for healthy relationships and effective communication. Without them, misunderstandings and resentment can build up. For instance, a coach who clearly defines the boundaries of availability with clients, such as not responding to emails after business hours, helps maintain work-life balance and respect. This clarity allows both parties to understand and respect each other’s limits.

Setting boundaries is essential, so there is a symbyotic working relationship. Set clear boundaries and communicate clearly, yet politely.

Self-awareness is everything, personally and professionally! Know who you are and what your limitations are; in and outside of the professional setting. Read the HR guidelines, too! Don't hurt others unintentionally! Education and awareness. If it feels uncomfortable, it's probably not appropriate. More importantly, ask yourself, does this affect my mental health and if the answer is yes, report the incident. If it doesn't and yet violates company guidelines, it should still be reported. Keep a toxic free environment for yourself and others. Protect others, as well! I think personally, 'Your opinion of me doesn't effect the outcome of my day.' However, definitely stick to company policies. They are in place to protect you and others!

Assertiveness naturally boosts confidence. When individuals learn to express their needs and opinions effectively, they build self-esteem and self-respect. A personal story might involve a shy employee who, after assertiveness training, felt empowered to propose a new project idea during a meeting. The positive reception not only validated their idea but also boosted their confidence for future contributions.

Being assertive isn’t just about speaking up; it also involves active listening. This ensures that conversations are two-way and that others feel heard and respected. For instance, a coach practicing assertiveness might say, “I hear that you're feeling overwhelmed by this project. Let’s discuss what specific parts are causing stress and how we can address them together.” This approach validates the other person's feelings and opens a constructive dialogue.

As a credentialled EQ-i practitioner, I often see the misconception that being assertive means disregarding others' feelings, but in reality, it's the opposite. To be assertive effectively, you need to be aware of your own emotions and those of others. You need to know where to express your needs and boundaries clearly while being attuned to and respectful of the other person's perspective. Coaching with emotional intelligence benefits clients and the coach. Modelling assertive behaviour that balances self-advocacy with empathy, creates a safe and trusting space for growth and transformation. It's a myth that assertiveness lacks emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is key to assertiveness, as it involves understanding and managing one's own emotions as well as empathizing with others. An assertive person can calmly express their feelings without being reactive. For example, instead of lashing out when frustrated, a coach might say, “I’m feeling concerned about our progress on this task. Can we explore what might be slowing us down and find a solution?” This approach uses emotional awareness to guide a productive conversation.

Assertiveness fosters mutual respect by encouraging honest and respectful communication. When individuals are assertive, they stand up for their own rights while respecting the rights of others. A real-world example could be a team member who respectfully declines additional work by saying, “I appreciate the opportunity, but I’m currently at full capacity. Can we revisit this next week?” This maintains respect for their boundaries and those of their colleague.

Assertiveness is a skill that can be developed through practice and dedication. Coaching itself is a powerful tool for helping individuals enhance their assertiveness by providing them with strategies, role-playing scenarios, and constructive feedback. Over time, coachees can build their confidence and improve their assertive communication abilities.

There are no misconceptions about assertiveness unless your body language and words don't reflect your intent. People respect those who are assertive even if they don't like them. This may be little difficult to understand but it takes experience to realise this truth.

I think being clear on what assertiveness actually is , is helpful. I like to think about it as - the ability to "have my say", this means thinking clearly about what needs to be heard. It doesn't necessarily mean getting your way. So to be able articulate an opinion is important

One common misconception about assertiveness in coaching is that it equates to being aggressive or domineering. However, assertiveness is about straightforward and respectful communication, ensuring the coach and the coachee understand and respect each other’s perspectives. Effective assertiveness involves expressing one's needs, desires, and concerns openly and honestly while maintaining empathy and consideration for others, fostering a positive and productive coaching relationship.