Gambling harms are not just financial, they come in many forms. Over the years, I was accused of being a narcissist and I done everything in my power to deny and avoid this label. Working with my therapist, it became obvious that my behaviour had been that of a narcissist. If you look at the definition, a lot of people would fit some aspects. For someone in active addiction and suffering harms, they will fit many more. My actions deserved reactions, but I resented those reactions. I hurt so many around me, yet often expected no reaction. I expected to be able to lose everything and my partners to just deal with it. There was also the "need" to keep everyone away from my true love, which was gambling, and if anyone got close to uncovering the true extent, or told me I must leave it all together, I would react. Often this will lead to controlling behaviour and what is now dealt with under the control and coercion law. On top of this was the economic, emotional and even threat of physical abuse. Acceptance of this allows reflection and the ability to ensure that changes are made to never treat someone that way again. Facing up to it is hard, but that is the only way. The reason for this post is to help others who may be suffering from this behaviour today and questioning why their partner or family member is acting in this way. Could it be due to gambling harms? For those directly affected by their own gambling harms, is this affecting you and your loved ones today? are you acting in this way? Do you want to stop? There is help out there and it is possible to deal with this behaviour. Please ask for help.
Rinashe Magumise
2mo
📌 It's a common trait that most people who are addicted to gambling potray. I experienced it but I had to reflect on my actions. After accepting my own behavior...I mapped out a plan to recover and heal those parts of my life I had damaged.
Consultancy for Gambling Harms, Lived Experience Advocate ** All comments solely represent my own opinion **
2moI try to explain gambling addiction to others as being in a coercive and controlling relationship - except that rather than it being another person who is inflicting themselves upon you it is a part of your own mind doing it. And yes, this then extends to those around you. Another element being self-loathing and a need to inflict pain upon yourself as an atonement- at its heart, an addiction is a form of self-harm. Which is why when a loved one asks how an addicted person could do this to them there are two possible but seemingly conflicting explanations. Yes, one is the narcissism involved in feeling that only you (and your own pain) matters, therefore the pain inflicted on others is of lesser significance, but there is another explanation which applies at the extreme end of addiction. Individuals experiencing long term and escalating addiction eventually lose so much self-esteem that they no longer care what happens to themselves. This reduces the control which their addicted mind can exert and use as leverage. But even the most fatalistic and cowed individual will retain feeling for loved ones. So the addiction can still influence the person through weaponizing guilt if it can redirect that harm to those loved ones.