Appreciation instead of praise?

In almost every business you hear the same complaint: "We don't get enough praise." In seminars on leadership, the guilty confession of the managers comes: "I know I should praise much more...". Most employees are embarrassed when the boss praises them, "What does he/she want from me now again?" is probably the first thought when praise is expressed. "...and what's next for criticism?" is often thought of spontaneously. The famous: "You did well, but..." is still very often used as an introduction to a criticism. (Very often with the argument: "So that criticism doesn't hurt so much, I say something positive first...").The reactions of the praised are therefore often suspicious and rejecting: "Well, it wasn't that good again..." or " Hab´doch just did my duty" or even: "And what didn't fit?" some bosses hear when they try to­ pronounce recognition verbally. This leads to­ uncertainty on the part of superiors who­ have meant praise genuinely and seriously. 

Admittedly, German culture is not a "culture of praise". It's different in the Anglo-Saxon world. There you will hardly be able to­ talk to someone for a few minutes­ without hearing a lot of praise: Whether it's your English pronunciation, the content of the presentation you've given or an outward appearance such as your sweater - Americans in particular will quickly find something that they positively emphasize. However, I would like to warn against imitation: If a manager­ moves from employee to employee in this country with praise­, one wonders at most at which­ seminar he or she was again, what kind of "technology" he or she is trying out, or what he or she wants now. Praise as "all-around" doesn't seem real, but is "praise sloppiness". Which is often overlooked: Verbal praise is only one way of­ showing appreciation to employees­, but not the only one. 

There are other possibilities:

1. Time, contact and presence

In our hectic activity, time is probably one of the greatest signs of appreciation: no raid-like visits, but times when I am not only physically there, really "present" as a manager. In such "moments of closeness" I can listen, respond to the employee and perceive him/her seriously and perceptively. 

2. Appreciation

When employees­ are entrusted with the management of projects or responsible­ tasks, this is a sign of recognition. Also the possibility to be allowed to appear with one's own ideas and e.g. to­ present a concept to the management/the board or to­ be involved in important customers/projects is appreciation without explicit praise. It's a sign of trust. 

The category of appreciation also includes the implementation of ideas brought in by employees (and this with the name of the author and not as an idea of the manager), the opportunity to­ attend further training,­ or the remuneration of special services through a bonus. In addition, there are also very personal signs of appreciation: congratulations on the birthday, the celebration of the company anniversary­ and personal Christmas wishes (no mass mail, but with­ personal words, written by hand or as a short visit before Christmas...). )

3."Gifts" 

Small gifts do not only proverbially receive friendship, but are also signs of appreciation­: once spontaneously an ice cream for the entire team when it is hot, a bouquet of flowers on the employee's table - simply as a "thank you" - that surprises and delights without big words. The more individual the gifts, the more I show that I have dealt with the employee as a person. The special tea for the tea afficionado, the exclusive chocolate for the­ employee in the call center or the poetry book for the secretary writing her own poems. In order to be able to give in this way, I also have to be in good contact with the employees: Only when I listen with interest do­ I come up with ideas for such personal little gifts (here the circle closes to point 1).

In addition to these forms of appreciation,­ there is the fourth possibility:

Verbal Praise

By this I mean a pronounced appreciation directed directly at the person­ without ulterior motives (i.e. without demand, criticism, ... ). In some companies there are unfortunately only ritualized occasions for praise: the Christmas party, the company anniversary­, the retirement or the­ funeral. These rituals are important. But ideally, praise comes­ unexpectedly: The spontaneous: "Thank you for the short report from the project meeting" or the feedback "Your presentation was clear and concise" are not yet spectacular "hymns of praise". Nevertheless, such findings do good and often have a more lasting effect than a good employee assessment in the annual review. If we often just say "thank you" for things that have worked well, verbal praise may also lose the smell of embarrassing touch and mistrust­. If we succeed in saying "good" instead of "not so bad", we are on the right track. 

What is your preferred way to­ show appreciation? You don't have to feel guilty if you don't walk through the department praisingly every day. But in some way, your staff should notice:My contributions to the success of the company are perceived. My supervisor appreciates me.

Marianne Grobner