Behaviour decides how long you stay

You will probably have to wait an eternity. People don’t change their behavior unless they want to do so. If you’ve told this person how their behavior upsets you, but they’ve done nothing about it, then they are letting you know that it doesn’t bother them enough to work on it. You either have to live with it, learn to ignore it, or find someone else who behaves differently. I don’t know what the behavior is, so I can’t be more specific than that.

It also depends on what the behavior is. For example, if someone has promised to quit smoking and they have given you a time frame, you have to decide how important it is to you that they quit smoking. If they aren’t doing it around you, in your house, or around your kids, then that is their problem. If you are worried about their health, which of course you should be, you have to decide if you can live with the consequences of their behavior. Do you love them enough to stay with them if they develop cancer, for example.

If it is really bad behavior, you know you can’t change them, so decide how important that behavior is to you and your relationship with that person. If they are, for example, stealing, lying, screwing around, you have to decide if you really want a relationship with them. you can’t change anyone. So you need to think of yourself and what values you have and what is important to you. God bless you.

This question can best be answered by a story from Will Smith. When Will was young, his father owned a bakery. Outside the bakery was a large wall. One day, Will’s father decided that he wanted a new wall in front of the bakery. He tore the old wall down and went to Will and his younger brother and told them to build a new wall. At first, Will thought it was impossible. There was no way that he and his little brother could build this wall. This space would be empty forever. But they got started. Each day after school they went to the bakery and worked on the wall. Each day they mixed concrete and laid bricks, one after the other.

Over time, the wall got bigger. A year and half later, they laid the final brick on the wall. Will’s father came outside the bakery and the three of them stood back, looking at the completed wall. Almost as if he planned it, Will’s father turned to them and said “Now, don’t you ever tell me you can’t do something again” and walked back into the shop. Here is what Will says he learned from that experience: “I learned that you don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t start by saying ‘I’m going to build the biggest, baddest wall that’s ever been built.’ You don’t start there. You say, ‘I’m going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid.’ If you do that every single day, soon you will have a wall.” - Will Smith

Your life is the same. Don’t set out saying, “I’m going to become the greatest version of myself ever.” You don’t start there, that’s too intimidating. Have the end goal in mind, but start by saying, “Today, I’m going to lay my brick as perfectly as I can lay it.” Your bricks can be whatever aspects of your life you want to work on; your fitness, your business, your personality, your relationships, anything. Start by picking the area of your life that you most want to improve and lay your first brick. If it’s your health, go for your first run. If it’s your mind, read the first page of that book. Whatever it is, make it something small and attainable. Then tomorrow, lay another brick. And the next day, another. If you do this day in and day out, over time you will become the greatest version of yourself. Cheers!