THE DEEPEST LOVE AFFAIR THAT HEALS (Excerpts from the book The Six Secrets of Life)

Lao Tzu, one of the greatest seers of China said

“Love the world as your own self

Then you can truly care for all things”

As you relax and think about the depth of the above quote, you will realise many things. Like a slideshow, allow pictures from your mind to replay in your head. Profound memories, just like an HD movie. Flashes of your life.

You will probably discover how little you have loved yourself all life. How proud have you been? You’ve probably been casual about your diet, your exercise, your supplements. Maybe all things concerning yourself have always on the backburner.

In your quest towards serving your loved one, you’ve probably been your last priority. There is nothing new in this. Studies have shown that more than 82% people all over the world report that they have never had time for themselves.

Michelangelo says that “Inside every stone is a great piece of art, waiting to be shaped.”

In the same way, inside every human, there lies a spotless and infinite essence. This is our pure and spotless Self Love. The highest form of devotion, unknown to most. This exquisite beauty may well be covered by a seemingly impenetrable mass of worldly dust.

Yet the truth remains that it is our pristine essence which is beyond stain,

Unsullied, immortal purity.

To penetrate the layers and to reach this supreme love, great trials and tribulations may have to be transcended. Their purpose is to grant us patience, faith and the ability to perceive the truth. After all, of what use is an infinite power in the hands of someone devoid of wisdom.

Realisation of this love is the greatest gift which leads to inner awakening. This power is unblemished, unbiased. Worldly love attaches itself to an object or to a person. When that object or person is removed, the one who loves goes into deep pain, depression. However, the one who has experienced the stillness of Self Love understands the deep permanence of relationships. She is unfettered with loss, knowing that no loss is ever eternal.

This is the power, that the great seer Lao Tzu's words seek to awaken in each one of us. There is no disease, no bereavement, no hurt in this supreme love. Just a perfection. A being!

Most of us perceive self-love as a very selfish or self- centred emotion. Something which may be the hallmark of one so conceited.

Some may think of it as a pure emotion, but possessed only by God and unreachable by any human.

The truth is that the purest form of devoutness is self-love. Only one who has experienced the awakening within, the shining of her inner omniscient light can know that this is not just an emotion. It is a flow, unstoppable by friend or foe. It is that of which all creation is made of.

A person who falls in love with himself in such depth has nothing but purity left inside of her. Only the eternal, untainted shine.

How to fall in eternal love?

So, what makes this love so powerful? The great Indian saint Kabir had says

“The river that flows in you, also flows in me.”

It is this truth, the oneness with the eternal which is the source of such a great power. The moment I realise this truth self love transcends selfishness and conceit. I fall in love with all of humanity, with nature itself. The deeper I experience this ardour, the deeper I am loved back. I receive unconditionally; everything I desire.

Let me present some simple steps for developing self- love. We will start with very easy exercises. As we progress, sometimes unknown to us, the inner glow will become brighter. Until we will radiate in great brilliance, the eternal light of love. Then our very presence will begin to touch lives, effortlessly.

1. Commence with a simple affirmation to be spoken daily, three times

“I am made in the image and likeness of the Divine. There is a place which only I can fill in the Universe. I love myself.”

2. Begin to speak mindfully. Speak only what gives you joy. You’ll start to feel happy with yourself.

3. Practice self-care. Look nice, groomed. Nourish yourself daily. Exercise, eat good healthy diet, sleep well, develop intimacy with the loved ones. The nicer you feel inside, the greater you’ll fall in love with yourself.

4. Partake of healthy uplifting discussions. Stay away from conversations which are ‘bitchy’ about others.

5. Forgive yourself. We make mistakes. Just learn your lessons and move on; as one moves into a new grade in school.

6. Develop a self transcending purpose in your life. Let me elucidate this further.

Victor Frankl was a doctor in three concentration camps with the Nazis. He saw that even in those adverse conditions, some Jews who had a purpose to their lives and loved themselves were able to survive. Such is the power of leading a loving, purposeful life.

Current research shows that those who find a purpose to their lives and live with that purpose, produce magic inside them. Their bodies produce greater antibodies and antioxidants. They have lower incidence of heart conditions and much lower risk of stroke. They manage to cheat even Alzheimer’s disease.

They also attract more wealth, better friends and partners.

In fact, research in positive psychology indicates that finding a purpose in life is like having a magic pill.

7. Develop Maitri or general compassion. This implies giving out love in little ways whenever you can. A smile during the morning walk, at the checkout counter, a gift of food to the hungry, a loving remark and so on.

8. Pamper yourself; buy things for yourself. Howsoever small.

Because you’re worth it. Try to make it a habit to buy something for your own birthday. Maybe just a rose.

9. When confronted with important decisions in life, even in your work, ask a simple question to yourself.

If I do love myself immensely, what would I do? This helps to keep you on the path of righteousness. That brings immense joy and self respect.

Your thought matrix will change.

10. You may, if you like frame the following scrolls from Lao Tzu and place them in a convenient place in your home so that you can read them many times a day.

“Love the world as your own self

Then you can truly care for all things”

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“Energy flows where your attention goes

Just as the flower opens up to light

Your soul opens up to self love”

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“Because one is content with oneself

One doesn’t need others’ approval

Care about what people think and

You’ll always be their prisoner.”

Within days you are likely to find a profound change in your life, your surroundings. Your health, even long standing issues will start to get resolved. Your work situation will change as will your relationships. Self- love is an unfathomable dominion, a source one with divinity itself.

‘Atma-prema’, a Sanskrit word may be translated as “self-love.”

This is the love for the creative force which exists at the centre of our very being.

‘Atma-prema’, is a recognition of the truth that we are all expressions of the one single unity. The oneness.

It is time. To fall in love with yourself.

(Disclaimer: Views expressed are the author’s own).