Everybody Needs a Divorce — Yes, Even You

Divorce is good — as long as you divorce the right thing. Before you report this post to whoever deletes offensive posts, let me explain. It is unfortunate that the application of certain words has been kidnapped by certain institutions, namely, marriage. I offer another view. Stay married, but divorce yourself today from everything that no longer serves your better future.

Storytelling occurs in many forms. The most powerful is when one word is so loaded, it surfaces entire narratives. Think about it. Successful brands accomplish this. With just one word, with just the name of their company, we finish the story with memories of our interactions with them, good, or bad. This lets us know that storytelling is more memory recollection than written words. The key is to say the right words to conjure the preferred memory. Back to divorce.

I would argue that par to a bad marriage is an undervalued self, an unbelieving heart, and a misaligned commitment to pleasing others. Relieving yourself from the bonds of marriage is, many times, an excuse. That somehow we believe the person living in our home is the cause of the stress and the angst in our lives is often a distraction, keeping us at arms length from touching the true cause of our sleepless nights.

My online class, "How to Build a Story," includes something few people realize is a part of story building. I call it People Please Disease or PPD. If there is something I have noticed as a theme from interviewing authors over 10,000 hours in the last 20 years, it is this, most people live their lives to please others.

PPD is so destructive. It keeps a person in a job they hate, in cities they despise with colleagues they don't trust, all while making less money than they need. And somehow, they stay. They stay because their sadness brings joy to someone else. I say get a divorce. Remove yourself from under the weight of others' opinions and start marching today toward the true you.

And if anyone wonders why all of a sudden you left your job, moved away or went back to school to study something you've always loved, just answer with words pointing to something they understand — irreconcilable differences.