having a clear mind

I struggle with holding on to emotions. Many of us see our emotions as the overwhelmingly real and permanent experiences that define us. We use phrases like “I AM angry”.

The original Greek word for emotions means energy in motion. That’s helpful to think about in the sense that, our feelings and thoughts are meant to pass not last. If they last, they’re stuck and creating unnecessary suffering for us.

The Buddhist analogy of seeing our thoughts and emotions as clouds has been helpful to me. Your mind is the sky and thoughts and emotions that are held on to (attached) become blocks.

They can leave as quickly as they come. Just like how a cloud appears to have solidity, the closer you get to it, the more you realize how transparent it actually is.

Our ability to break up the concrete until our emotional blocks are dust is the process of healing.

The average lifespan of an emotion is 3 minutes with the climax lasting around 30 seconds. Yea, that’s right. These feelings get a lot of energy for such little time.

For thoughts, it’s more complex but research tells that negative thoughts stick to our minds immediately while positive thoughts take being repeated 7 times on average before sticking to our minds. Even then, holding on to positive thoughts isn’t best (don’t kill me, positive psych people).

The things we think are so real, actually hold little reality.

Many of our traumas and lasting pains and issues stay with us and deeply effect us because we see them like concrete blocks. We cement them in one place within us, as one thing, that can’t be moved or changed.

So, what can be done here?

1. Be aware and present to your emotions. You can’t change or work on what you don’t know.
2. Have a mindful practice that helps you create a stop gap and space to have a chance to let go of whatever you’re holding on to
3. Let go. Review your past and present concrete blocks and through loving care, let them go. Thank them for what they’ve been for you but make it clear you no longer need them.
4. Stay with the complete process of having the initial feeling or thought, then trying to hold on to it then letting go. It’s important to experience the full process and proof that you don’t have to hold on to these things like you once believed you did. And, to show that they’re not permanent!
5. Give yourself patience and love. You’ll never be perfect. What’s important is that you hold on to your thoughts and emotions a little less each day. Your commitment to becoming a more whole and loving person is the goal.

Questions

• what thoughts and emotions have become blocks?
• what practice can you start trying to let them go?
• why do you hold on to these and can you accept you will always hold on to a certain extent while also believing you can hold on less?

Quote

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ― Viktor Frankl