How to Deal with People with Different Personalities

At least once in your life, someone will do something that makes you say, “Wait, why did they do that? How could they do that? I just don’t understand.”

In fact, this will probably happen to you a number of times.

You may feel that you just don’t understand people—how they think, the way they act, their motives or intentions.

But understanding people can reduce conflict and improve relationships.

How are we different?

Our backgrounds, which include how, where, and when we were raised, play an important part in our differences.

Our experiences play a big part.

And yes, our economic backgrounds matter.

Our instinctive personalities from birth are factors, as well, in addition to our beliefs and values.

“The world is shaped by different people with certain personalities that come out of different upbringings.”

 – Ralph Nader

How do you handle the different personality types?

Whether we’re working with colleagues, leading a team, or living with our family, personality has a major impact on our relationships and the success with which we communicate and collaborate with others.

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.”

–Dale Carnegie

What should you do if the people you’re dealing or living with differ from you? You can take certain steps to facilitate understanding as you try to work or live with others with a different personality type.

 Meet people’s needs.

Once you recognize someone’s personality type, you will have a better idea of what to say, when to say it, and how to say it.

You can better understand how to engage the person and respond to them in ways that meet their emotional needs and your goals.

“The greatest ability in business is to get along with others and influence their actions.”

– John Hancock

Keep an open mind; avoid assumptions.

Sometimes people can come across as mean and unfriendly when they are really shy or just uncomfortable.

Instead of assuming what someone is feeling or what their intentions are, explore possible reasons for their behavior and try to give them the benefit of the doubt, in other words always assume positive intent.

Step into their shoes.

You need to learn about the different types of personality to better understand and appreciate people.

It is also important to step into the other person’s shoes to be able to imagine what it is like for them.

How do they see the world? And how do they see you?

“Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone ... just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had.”

– F. Scott Fitzgerald

Appreciate differences.

It will be much easier to understand people if you don’t expect everyone to think and act like you.

Even people with similar personalities have different experiences and backgrounds that shape their opinions and attitudes.

Making the time and effort to learn more about people can help you appreciate their differences and avoid stereotyping them.

“We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.”

– Jimmy Carter

Be aware of your own weaknesses.

Things get less complicated when we realize that our personality type has its own weaknesses and faults, which may conflict with others.

There is no perfect personality type, only personality differences.

Think about where your preferences lie and those of your colleagues, family, etc.

How does this affect your communication with them and their relationships?

“Not everyone thinks the way you think, knows the things you know, believes the things you believe, acts the way you act. Remember this and you will go a long way getting along with people.”

– Arthur Forman