This Knowledge Would Transform & Save Your Relationship or Marriage Guaranteed!

I learned from relationship expert, Jimmy Evans that anytime people don’t understand the assertion, “God loves you”, the best way to grasp it is to imagine the following scenario between a boy and a girl. Have you seen a young person in love before─the passion, the commitment, the loyalty, and even the occasional craziness one could exhibit because of love? Have you fallen in love in such a manner before?

Jimmy says, multiply this boy-girl love a thousand times; you would have then only started to understand the minutest bit of what the agape love of God is─the unconditional love!

Now the lovebirds may decide to move the relationship forward to the next level. They could start courting for an appreciable period. When all things go well, they then plan to wed. Usually beginning with the meeting of families and having official introductions. Traditional marriage rites then follow, and dowry paid. Next, dates are fixed for the wedding. The D-day arrives, but before then, there would be lots of planning that go into it to make the day successful. Finally, the day arrives; friends, loved ones, families far and wide arrive for the ceremonies. For Christians, the priest or the officials join the couple in a holy matrimony. They are then pronounced “m-a-n & w-i-f-e!” Hurray!!

That’s not all. If the couple had much money left, they may take two weeks off for a honeymoon at a choice destination to continue the bliss of the new feelings of having each other 24/7. They come home after the two weeks. Marriage starts.

If you were like me, love became so sizzling, and because we wanted to enjoy that for some extra months, we suspended the usual rush of making babies immediately after wedding (we disappointed this Africa’s family norm). The bliss continued.

The Challenges- The ban was later lifted, and the first son landed, then the second.

And all hell let loose! Things were never the same again. Our lives were never the same again. Trouble started not so much because the kids came, but for our ignorance. Over-familiarity began to creep in inadvertently. This came with neglect, carelessness, nonchalance, taking each other for granted, ignorance of the psychological and emotional needs or differences between a woman* and a man**. Poor communication and wrong word choices, non-readiness to improve on good habits were the other foxes that spoiled the bliss of our marriage vineyard. I learned a few lessons the hard ways! So, during courtship, don't fail to train properly on how to handle these foes that can unconsciously crawl into a marriage and destroy it. Most times, there are no media for training in third-world countries.

* Women's key psychological/emotional needs in order of priority: Security (be willing to sacrifice for her first), Affection (non-sexual soft affection & touching), Open & honest communication , Leadership (man should lead, but treat her as equals).

** Men's key psychological/emotional needs in order of priority: Honour & respect , Sex , Support at home , Fun & friendship (make your husband your buddy)─ Jimmy Evans

Each person should strive to meet the other's needs and the home would be blissful.

My Point- Even if you failed to undertake good training during courtship to prepare you adequately for the married life, it is dangerous to stay in marriage without continuously seeking sound knowledge on how to maintain a successful marriage. Seek it with similar energies you pursue your business, physics, mathematics, or other knowledge because your sanity could depend on it more than these academic subjects!

Meanwhile, it's like marriage is the only vocation (romantic relationship in general) folks jump into without any serious systematic training - whatever form. This gap can be comparable to someone wanting to become a pilot without any rigorous training whatsoever in aviation. No wonder half of marriages clash like packs of cards and sand castles at the beach. Sad!

My Action- Getting help is strength, not a weakness. It was this understanding that made me to seek solutions because I couldn’t afford to sit and watch my marriage fall apart for ignorance. Thank goodness I stumbled on Jimmy Evans’ book/DVDs on “The Indestructible Marriage” as well as his YouTube teachings on the different subjects on relationship. My other marriage-saving teachings on YouTube have been “Resolving conflicts” by Tope Koleoso. Our marriage was saved from being a statistic!

A few of Jimmy Evan's YouTube teachings: That Saved Us

1. Understanding & Meeting Your Spouse’s Needs (2). The Key to Your Spouse's Heart (3). Training Your Mouth for Marriage (4). Power of Positive Communication (5). The Habits of Emotionally Healthy Couples

Lessons & Changes I Made After Listening To Jimmy & Tope 

1. We wrote a PEACE accord that spelt out the acceptable standards/ethics as guides for the family and the bounds to not cross [some financial sanctions, in British Pounds, attached to flouting the agreed standards. This worked wonders cos no one wanted to flout and pay fines]. Sounds radical, but Yes, it worked for us! Do what works for you.

2. We regularly read a quality marriage-related book together.

3. Regularly listen to Jimmy’s & Tope’s YouTube teachings together

4. Got a marriage mentor/counsellor

Last words

There is no one-size-fits-all advice, but rather do what works for you. These have worked for me, and we are work-in-progress till death do us part. Marriage is hard work. Do you agree?

My advice is that it's when you're still unmarried that you should use the time to learn much about the principles of successful relationship and marriage. Buy and read quality books [ask me for some best titles to buy]. In fact, can I even push it that no one marries again without studying, and listening to Jimmy Evans materials, if not anyone else? And save yourself the unnecessary trial & error! Lol!

Can you imagine for a second your feelings on the wedding day? That day, no one ever married with the feeling that “I’m gonna destroy this marriage or divorce.” So, why after a few years, folks begin to hate each other to the extent of seeking a divorce? Perhaps the ancient wisdom book could answer, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” We fail to get the right knowledge of what it takes to keep a healthy and fruitful marriage. This is where Jimmy Evans and Tope Koleoso come in to help with sound relationship knowledge. Everything rises and falls at the altar of sound knowledge of what to do.

A Bonus- Laugh A Little Bit With This

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