How Your Social Environment Affects Your Thinking

Connections and Venues Matter

I'll never forget working with a volunteer group and meeting a man who shared his difficulties adhering to an alcohol program. Thankfully, he had already passed a five-year milestone and was being recruited as a sponsor for other people who were beginning the same kind of alcoholism recovery journey. 

One of the things that struck me about his story was that it wasn't as difficult to stay away from alcohol as it was to let go of the only friends and associates with whom he had established relationships. He understood that, because he had chosen them during his drinking years, they were still mired in the disease process, frequenting places where alcohol was plentiful and overindulging was encouraged. 

Change Can Feel Disruptive

That meant he would have to exchange the groups with whom he had interacted socially during that era for new ones who were committed to supporting his sobriety. This critical step would help him maintain his discipline and enjoy the improved physical and mental health he had worked so hard to achieve. 

But making such an obvious choice did not make it painless. He had forged some strong emotional attachments, so he had to crawl out of his comfort zone with trepidation and insecurity to start forging new relationships.

That was understandable. We are creatures of habit and familiarity, especially those of us who are rather rigid in our daily routines or whose neurodiverse tendencies make us crave reliable social patterns.

The Effect on Our Brains

The point here is that our peers and colleagues exert a significant influence on us. Scientists say they can even change the shape of our brains as we interact with them and allow them to influence our thinking. So it is extremely important to choose them carefully and periodically audit our relationships to see whether they are beneficial or harmful.

Some of the National Institutes of Health (NIH) research has revealed that specific areas of the brain are activated during interpersonal communication with others. In other words, our social and professional peers can change our thoughts or perceptions and the actions we take as a result.

Associating with the Right People

Science tells us that we become more like our friends over time. That’s why we must choose them carefully. 

Parents are acutely aware of this fact. Although it might cause considerable conflict between them and their children or teenagers, they are wise to meet the friends or dates their children select, especially if they become constant companions. 

The effects of the alliances that are forged between highly impressive brains can range anywhere from positive to catastrophic, and adults often sense the dangers before their children do. Finding a healthy balance between demonstrating informed concern and meddling to the point where the children feel they are not trusted to make their own decisions is a delicate and lengthy process.

Platform After Platform

We now have a monolithic influential factor in the form of social media platforms. Needless to say, a plethora of strong and even radical opinions surround us every day. And no one knows that better than those who have established a business or become entrepreneurs.

Besieged by ominously worded FOMO (fear of missing out) emails, text messages, and social media ads from too many experts, people have to struggle to stay positive and discern the individuals or groups who have their best interests in mind, grasp their specific goals and needs, and make ethical and advantageous referrals.

People Close to Us Can Close Us Down

Professional networking often leads to what may be positive friendships and powerful allies. The same applies to loving and trusted relationships with significant others at home. 

But what happens when the people we interact with most often fail to offer the support we need? What happens when a constant pounding of their negative news bulletins, cynical opinions, doubtful reactions, and repeated chants of “I told you so” start putting the brakes on the wheels of our progress by impacting our thought patterns?

The Whole-Body Equation

By now, it’s no secret that an oppressive or negative environment is a stressor that makes positive thoughts far more difficult to sustain. And because of the mind-body link, extraordinarily negative people adversely affect not only our brains but our physical health as well.

A Positive Strategy

We must learn to recognize and counteract the effects of negativism by starting with ourselves. A strong and positive self-image is a powerful defense against the negative input we hear, read, and watch on television and social media.

Not all of the influence and urging to conform are bad things. Women in particular share and adopt beauty, shopping, job, technology, business, and relationship tips regularly that can help them navigate an often tough and male-dominated environment.

Holding Ourselves Accountable

What it comes down to is we have to take responsibility for the people we choose to hang around with and the input we internalize. If someone's interactions aren’t serving us, we might have to cut them loose. 

Yes, it can be very uncomfortable to do that. We might even need the assistance of a counselor to do it successfully. However, it’s worth it.

All May Not Be Quiet on the Home Front

Of course, your family unit is your family unit. They are your flesh and blood, and your love for them is a cornerstone of your foundation as a human being. They’re not going anywhere.

But if some family members are extremely problematic or unsupportive, you can choose to discuss only certain subjects and communicate those boundaries to them.

The Marriage Base Matters

Deciding to separate from a spouse is not something I would recommend unless your marriage is destroying your emotional and physical health and you have made peace with your counselor and Higher Power about making that kind of a move.

For most married women seeking success or a dream, losing the man they love is such a stressor that it is worth the time, expense, and discomfort to fully participate in marriage counseling to give their committed relationship a real chance to strengthen and survive. 

When counseling does work, often as a result of improving communication skills and working through traumas, the union can emerge even stronger. But if it fails, do yourself a favor—grieve, hang around positively supportive friends, and move on with your life.

Conclusion

Difficult parts of our journey highlight the profound impact of our social environment on our brains, thoughts, and actions. From the in-person influence of peers, family, and friends to the impact of online content and marketing overload, it's crucial to choose our sources and companions wisely. 

While positive influences can propel us forward, negative associations can hinder our progress. Sometimes, prioritizing our well-being means parting ways with toxic relationships and damaging social media input.

Ultimately, our social environment choices shape our lives. Through responsible self-awareness and the cultivation of positive connections, we can navigate challenges and emerge stronger, pursuing our goals with resilience.

Are you struggling with a friend, acquaintance, spouse, or family member who refuses to support your goals or dreams because they have nothing positive to say? Then why don’t you click on the link under my LinkedIn profile picture so we can have a chat that might give you the kind of boost you’ve been looking for?

It certainly can’t hurt. And once in a while, everyone needs a cheering section.

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