Keep your dark secrets close to your chest

The complete expression is “keep your (keeps his/her) cards close to your (his/her) chest.” Another form of the expression is “hold your cards close to your vest” where “vest” is an indirect way to refer to “chest.” (A vest is a sleeveless garment worn over a shirt, and under a jacket.) It’s a reference to playing a card game, of course, where it is important that the other players don’t know what cards you have. One way to prevent them from getting a glimpse is to hold the cards close to your chest, facing you. You tilt the hand up just enough that you can look down and see what you have.

That way someone standing behind you has a hard time seeing your cards, and the other players can’t catch a reflection from your glasses. It is another poker-inspired idiom. When gambling in a card game, one is dealt and may make changes to their hand, the set of cards they hold which will eventually be ranked against the hands of other players, to determine the winner of the pot, the money bet. A crowded room can include spectators with unknown motives and alliances, and a crowded table of players may mean those on either side might sneak a peak at one's hand and signal other players. Holding the cards close to one's chest allows one to look down at the flared hand to study the merits, but without allowing anyone, players or spectators, to see what advantage, disadvantage, or strategy one has in mind.

In dealings with others, people may have motives and plans that they don't want others to consider. Keep your cards to your chest is advice to be careful. Letting others know your true intent could cause them to work against you, or to talk to others who would do so. When the secrets are maintained, it becomes cage to inner life. Then it becomes like mental illness. So only, one must say before only as it is to the wedding partner, . If they want, let them accept, otherwise don't want.

Because what happens today happens tomorrow. But maximum and maximum we must be front and back sincere to partner, for our good mental health. Whatever we want to say, we must say, before others do "kaan kacchha" (wrong interpretation). But when we become quite and truth comes to be known by the outsiders, heart break like happening. We think, why didn't our partner tell this, are we not worthy or do we don't want.. The thought runs.. This is the critic of sharapanjara, cage of arrows. None, unless you’re too weak to suppress the arbitrary morality that was previously instilled.

Because there is nothing inherently wrong with keeping a secret, nothing at all. It’s just a piece of data in your head, and whether its verbalized or not literally does not matter, assuming you make the decision to keep said secret instead of perseverating like a child who considers mommy and daddy an infallible moral compass. Just like any activity that can be considered ethically ambiguous (every act), the key is understanding yourself to the point where you’re comfortable with however you decide to play the life game.

Only those that are uncomfortable with themselves experience a “dark side” pertaining to should and shouldn’t. Everyone else sleeps well, wakes up refreshed, and doesn’t waste additional mental cycles whining to themselves about how what they’ve done might be “wrong” when that word is perhaps the most arbitrary known to man. There is no wrong, and the sooner one gets that truth straight in their head, the sooner they can get to casually keeping secrets. Guilt, being found out and hurting someone, not being trusted by those who find out. It depends on what you’re keeping secret. Some things are nobody’s business. But if it involves a romantic relationship and the other person should know, then keeping secrets is not a good idea.

1. Being found out. Forgetting that what you’ve just let out was a secret. Bars you from saying something that you otherwise would have have mentioned because it would reveal the secret. If they are secrets involving something that could hurt a partner, friend, or family member, the risk is the emotional damage to that person and the relationship when the truth inevitably comes out and every sincere truth you’ve told comes into question because of one secret kept. If it is a personal secret being kept that may not harm someone else but that would bring personal shame or fear, for instance, hiding past abuse from a current partner, or even something as simple as the way you feel about yourself (low self esteem, family trauma, fear of intimacy, low openness to new situations) from someone you are in a relationship with, it creates and invisible but damaging divide. Often when secrets are kept they are covered with behaviors like defensiveness, aloofness, or distance that the other person feels but cannot fully comprehend. Transparency, however uncomfortable at the time, is far less risky in the long run. Cheers!